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Thread: ex still calls me and tempted to answer

  1. #1
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    ex still calls me and tempted to answer

    we were together 3 years. broke up October 2017 but we still talked all the time. our relationship ended because we would argue from time to time. nothing serious...

    during the 10 months of us talking we would call and text each other daily. we would sleep together when she was In town. she'd drive down 6 hours just to see me. call me pet names we gave each other still called me babe. however, she would go date others. she dated like 9 other people!!! to make things worse she would tell me about them and when they'd kiss etc. it ing killed me. then I go sleep with a girl and she tells me to make sure I tell her that I still talk to my ex and might get back with her. lol...and I did tell her because all I wanted was to get back. talk about manipulation.

    so up until the last week before I cut her off in August she told me she wanted to marry and have a baby. then she goes on another date with someone she said she got along with great. out of all her dates this was the best for her. at this point I couldn't take it. from one week if went from her driving to see me, saying she wants to marry me, to going on a good date with someone new.


    I cut her off. last time we spoke she said she's going to his house and I said no ing more. stop calling me pet names we gave each other. stop calling me if you're going to do this. we can't be friends. she said okay. we hung up. now she has called me 20 times since she's been blocked. tried adding me on Instagram. she will be in town soon and might try to physically see me.

    I so ing badly want to see her. I so badly want to answer her calls. I so badly want this to work. I'm so curious as to why she calls me. what does she want to say? I'm just hurt you guys. really really hurt. not talking to her has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. now that she calls me it makes it that much harder.

  2. #2
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    You should have blocked her long ago! I do not understand why you have tortured yourself for so long. You have done this to yourself.

    If you blocked her, how is she getting through?

    Block her, once and for all! No future! You seem to be a glutton for punishment.

  3. #3
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    I read your original thread. The woman is a complete mess and you were toxic together.

    Why not seek some counseling to move on from this co dependent disaster.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by spacetrip
    I so ing badly want to see her. I so badly want to answer her calls. I so badly want this to work. I'm so curious as to why she calls me. what does she want to say? I'm just hurt you guys. really really hurt. not talking to her has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. now that she calls me it makes it that much harder.
    Why does she call you? Because you let her. She's reduced you to her F' buddy and you've gone along with it.
    Look. . if she cared enough about you to begin with, she would have never risked losing you..

    I know it's hard, but if you what ever strength you've gained will be lost by having spoken to her. You'll end up starting all over again.

    What does she want to say? Who cares? If she said she wanted to reconcile, would you even trust her?
    Given her history of toying with and you going along with it, I'd say stay on track and continue to block her

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. You are collateral damage in her general confusion, neuroses, head games and pansexuality issues. If you can be fwb and a male-girlfriend who listens to her talk about her sex life, fine. But it sounds like she's doing a number on you.

    You need to forget her and start dating stable women who won't play games and mess with you. When you start dating and find someone to have a relationship with you will be saying to yourself "what was I thinking!"
    Originally Posted by spacetrip
    M decides she wants to go to school up north 6 hours away even though she got into the same school as me to study feminism. She is bi-sexual and has always wanted to be with another woman and told me she would get Tinder and look for a woman

    So she is on Tinder and it actually does start to bother me. Then I tell her and block her. She writes a HUGE email to me saying that her love for me is reborn and wants to make things work, but I need to work on myself and give her space.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    She is treating you like a girlfriend - calling up and yapping away about her latest dating adventures. She does this because you seem to be a glutton for punishment and really rather in denial that your relationship is really over and dead. In your mind, you are telling yourself that her contact means something more....except...it doesn't. Every time you answer, it's stroking her ego. You are still a fool who is hung up on her, no matter how badly she treats you, how cruel and insensitive, you keep sticking around for more.

    OP, start accepting that it's over, that she is no good for you and move on. This means block all contact from her for real. Everywhere - social media, phones, etc. You want to talk because you are addicted and still hoping....hoping for what though? More punishment?

  8. #7
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    Wow. She must be hot stuff if she's dating 9 other guys. Since you don't want to be part of the merry-go-round anymore, stay No Contact and have nothing else to do with her. I know it's pretty hard to push away someone who wants to have sex with you, but I think she's crazy, and if you want a more traditional "exclusive" relationship, she's not going to provide that. From what you describe, I think she has borderline personality disorder where she craves affection, in fact, just can't get enough. (That would explain the 9 other guys.) She probably needs therapy and perhaps some medication. But if you want to maintain your sanity, ignore all her drama and stay away from her.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Not that it means you'll get back together, but she would have more respect for you if you refused to participate in her little game. She knows you're an easy target, and she's running with it.

    These are not the actions of someone who sincerely wants to be with you. Keep in mind that we teach people how to treat us, therefore you need to take into account what your role is in this. Not to sound harsh, but if you want to end this nonsense, you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse. Your call...

  10. #9
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    I feel like around the holidays a lot of people backtrack with exes they know are no good for them. Don't let this silly time of year get in your head. You knew you couldn't handle the situation and I promise you nothing has changed. Take a deep breath, surf the urge, and refocus your efforts to disentangle yourself from this toxic mess.

  11. #10
    Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    she's bad news. block her. erase her.. whatever you have to do. move on.

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