My Female Physio is interested?

Hello all,

I have been to physiotherapy a few times now, and increasingly I'm beginning to think my (female) physiotherapist is attracted to me - though it could be wishful thinking as she is an attractive woman and perhaps I am reading into things. We are around the same age i think.

I haven't been to physiotherapy before, so initially i thought her lingering touches, rubbing my legs slowly and gently , was just part of the treatment and part of the way physio's assess patients. It just seemed like there was more to it however but i put it out of my mind.

Then, after the last session she says there is another physiotherapist that is senior to her that could take over, and then she made a big point of telling me that she'd like to do the next assessment and she'd like to keep seeing me but that it is up to me if i want to go to the senior physiotherapist or stay with her. I said ok i'll see the senior one for one issue and her for the other issues, and she seemed quite relieved almost and said that she'll deal with some issues and we can then keep seeing each other. She also gave me her office number and told me to directly call her to arrange the next appointment. I did and I have another appointment with her this week.

She was looking at the floor and seemed very nervous when saying all this btw. Am i being over-imaginative here? Is she just being friendly as a physiotherapist would be?

It's very very common to develop a crush on good looking people who are care takers...nurses, doctors, teachers, etc. Especially if you are lonely and don't have someone in your life. Obviously a physiotherapist, nurse, doctor, massage therapist, etc has to touch you as part of their job.

It sounds like she is becoming aware of your crush and is therefore seeking to refer you. Try not to creep her out with your fantasies.

she is an attractive woman and perhaps I am reading into things. i thought her lingering touches, rubbing my legs slowly and gently

 

after the last session she says there is another physiotherapist that is senior to her that could take over. I said ok i'll see the senior one for one issue and her for the other issues, and she seemed quite relieved.

So she's trying to politely get rid of me? i was conflicted as she said that she'd like to keep seeing me and wants to do the next assessment, though there is a senior physiotherapist, but it's up to me what i'd like to do. From an objective lens that is a way of politely getting rid of me. Though i haven't been obvious in any way, not to my knowledge.

Thanks for the wake up call.

We are both in our mid 20s, learning curve.

Yes, it sounds as though she's trying to keep a professional distance whilst still remaining in her caring role. This can be very embarrassing for the carer - which is why she was looking at the floor and appeared nervous. The physical touch is part of the treatment, of course, and it would be very wrong to read any more into it. Apart from anything, any intention other than a therapeutic one would constitute a serious breach of professional boundaries and could lead to disciplinary action, or worse, for her.

It would be a huge mistake to interpret

we can then keep seeing each other

So she's trying to politely get rid of me? i was conflicted as she said that she'd like to keep seeing me and wants to do the next assessment, though there is a senior physiotherapist, but it's up to me what i'd like to do. From an objective lens that is a way of politely getting rid of me. Though i haven't been obvious in any way, not to my knowledge.

 

Thanks for the wake up call.

 

We are both in our mid 20s, learning curve.

Her actions can be interpreted both ways. Take the guesswork out of this. Next time as her questions like where she grew up and if she does physiotherapy for her family. Ask if her boyfriend gets free sessions. Basically find out if she has a boyfriend. If she does then you know it's not going anywhere. If she is single you could ask her out to coffee and see if she's willing. Ask her something like, would you be willing to go out for coffee if a patient asked you. If she says yes, then, "how about if that patient was me?". If also yes then, "Hey would you like to go out for coffee?". Each of these are small steps you can take to find out more and see if there is interest. If she says she has a boyfriend, or she doesn't date patients, then you know it's not going to go anywhere even if she is interested.

In the US it is unethical to date a patient and can carry serious consequences. She has already picked up on this and appropriately talked to her senior therapist and asked him to see that therapist instead, as any professional would.

No do not ask any personal flirty questions. Her actions are not "both ways" she is not "rubbing his legs" as some sort of come-on. That is his imagination. It's a physiotherapy office not a "massage parlor" in Bangkok, a singles bar or strip club. She not there to feed his imagination as if she's doing lap dances because she has to touch him.

Ask if her boyfriend gets free sessions. Basically find out if she has a boyfriend. If she is single you could ask her out to coffee and see if she's willing. Ask her something like, would you be willing to go out for coffee if a patient asked you.

Her actions can be interpreted both ways. Take the guesswork out of this. Next time as her questions like where she grew up and if she does physiotherapy for her family. Ask if her boyfriend gets free sessions. Basically find out if she has a boyfriend. If she does then you know it's not going anywhere. If she is single you could ask her out to coffee and see if she's willing. Ask her something like, would you be willing to go out for coffee if a patient asked you. If she says yes, then, "how about if that patient was me?". If also yes then, "Hey would you like to go out for coffee?". Each of these are small steps you can take to find out more and see if there is interest. If she says she has a boyfriend, or she doesn't date patients, then you know it's not going to go anywhere even if she is interested.

I think that that would be highly inappropriate. The doctor patient relationship should remain professional. A doctor is not supposed to date a patient, especially someone dealing with psychiatry.

in the us it is unethical to date a patient and can carry serious consequences. No do not ask any personal flirty questions. Her actions are not "both ways" she is not "rubbing his legs" as some sort of come-on. That is his imagination. It's a physiotherapy office not a "massage parlor" in bangkok.

lol...........

Ask if her boyfriend gets free sessions.

Completely inappropriate. OP - if you want to ensure you never get seen by a female physio again, do as Mari suggests.

Oh wow...no, don't ask her if she has a bf or cross that line. You will embarrass her and embarrass yourself.

I think she is handing you off to another physio because she possible got the vibes off of you that you were enjoying the therapy a bit too much.

Best to realize now that any professional that is helping you, whether it is a nurse or therapist or physiotherapist, or even a waitress...is doing their job and aren't trying to find a date.

In the US it is u She has already picked up on this and appropriately talked to her senior therapist and asked him to see that therapist instead, as any professional would.

 

No do not ask any personal flirty questions. Her actions are not "both ways" she is not "rubbing his legs" as some sort of come-on. That is his imagination. It's a physiotherapy office not a "massage parlor" in Bangkok, a singles bar or strip club. She not there to feed his imagination as if she's doing lap dances because she has to touch him.

I had to be referred to senior physio for another issue as my problems are somewhat complicated - we had discussed that from day one. Also she did not ask her to see me instead, she just said the senior one can do both simple and complex physio, but that she’d like to keep assessing me and treating me for simple things so that we can keep seeing each other .

Bottom line, this is a professional relationship. If you cannot keep things in that perspective, then do not see her again.

Focus on your recovery and rehabilitation. She is doing some parts of the therapy and the senior therapist is doing the more complex aspects. It is not divided up that way "so she can keep seeing you", because you are not dating. She can continue the less complex aspects of your therapy. When you feel better, get on some dating apps and start dating appropriate women.

I had to be referred to senior physio for another issue as my problems are somewhat complicated she’d like to keep assessing me and treating me for simple things so that we can keep seeing each other .

Just to be clear , those are HER words not mine. She literally said “I can keep doing the simple physio so then we can keep seeing each other “

I do see the error of my ways however, as she is likely just being a caring physio

Yes. I don;t understand what you are interpreting from her words? She is stating she can continue seeing you as a patient.

~Transference describes a situation where the feelings, desires, and expectations of one person are redirected and applied to another person. Most commonly, transference refers to a therapeutic setting, where a person in therapy may apply certain feelings or emotions toward the therapist.Aug 28, 2015~

I think you ought to ignore any kind of suggestion from here that conflicts with your crush on a health professional. Yup, that's it--NOT!

While I agree with the others - the relationship should remain professional and it could cost her her job if it does not - I do not think it's out of the realm of possibility that she finds you attractive. However, the bottom line is that you do not come onto patients and any attraction you feel is appropriately dealt with. We aren't there, so it's difficult to say if she is attracted, but it is honestly a moot point. Consider seeing someone else entirely.

it is a common mistake to believe that those in the hospitality and caregiving professions "are attracted to us" - or really anybody in a professional setting. Part of the job (especially care givers like her) to have good bedside manner. And when there is touch involved... what.. do you think these peopel ever touch their patients DISPLEASINGLY? Of course not. They're business and livelihood is DEPENDENT upon peopel liking them so they can keep coming back.

What's probably mor true here is that these people can ALSO very quickly determine when somebody is inappropraitely translating these sessions as "chemistry and attraction" - thus why she is now suggesting another practitioner. And of course, to not risk losing a patient and income, "its up to you" (very standard practice in customer care professions).

Never mistake "attention" and "niceness" from people that work with customers in these fields as attraction. Never. This is how they treat everybody. So interest would have to be far more obvious and overt to be true interest. Besides, I do believe there are legal ramifications for practiioners dating patients. This is a huge no no.

Yeah, try to make it a rule of yours...if you're paying them to do a service for you, don't turn it into a dating scene. It's awkward and more often than not, it's not welcomed.

Keep things professional.

In fact, I have friends that are nurses, a couple doctors, massage therapists, counselors, etc. I can assure you that not once have I ever heard any of them talk about wanting to date a client...not once...and this is many many years of knowing these people.

They have however talked about clients trying to hit on them and they dropped them as clients immediately.

Do you mind me asking what country you're from? In many countries, their physiotherapy college does not allow for any relationships with patients.

To answer all your questions. I've worked in physical rehabilitation/ in physiotherapy for 5 years, all of what you have described is normal treatment, but only you can read the body language.

1. Palpating/ rubbing is not uncommon if done professionally.

2. Getting the senior physio involved is very common when you are making limited progress, but you have essentially agreed to get treatment from her AND another physio, she is likely quite happy because if she is on a fee-per-service program, then she will still be getting paid.

3. Giving you her office number is not uncommon and makes setting up appointments much easier, and make you more likely to re-book.

I have seen patients mistakenly act on what they perceive as a crush, my advice would be to wait until you are done being treated then find a non-threatening way to ask her out or you might be out of a good physiotherapist.

Maybe she does maybe she doesn't.

How long do you think the treatments will go on?

Is she paid per patient or a salary?

If you really think she is into you then request the senior full time, get healed and then AFTER you have finished all your business with that office call her up and ask her out. This way you break the patient bond/ethics thing, give it some time and have a better chance of her seeing you as a good looking guy that is interested in her and not some patient.

Lost

It’s the UK, on the NHS, so I don’t pay for any of these sessions. Her salary is not on a per patient it’s just a salary.

It’s the UK, on the NHS, so I don’t pay for any of these sessions. Her salary is not on a per patient it’s just a salary.

That’s not the point sherry is making. The point is she is PAID to care for YOU. Regardless of who pays her it’s inappropriate to get involved.

Just to be clear , those are HER words not mine. She literally said “I can keep doing the simple physio so then we can keep seeing each other “

 

I do see the error of my ways however, as she is likely just being a caring physio

I would think because she is young and just starting out, she does want the experience of working with you with what she can do. If I was in her position, I would want to expand and practice my skill set as much as possible, rather than starting with a client and losing them entirely when a more experienced practitioner is needed.

All very professional and I do think you are reading into it.