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Thread: Why isnít he passionate about me? Empty Love.

  1. #1
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    Why isnít he passionate about me? Empty Love.

    So my boyfriend and I have been together for a year, weíve had our conflicts in the beginning but for quite a while we have been fine, I may even say closer but when we argue everything changes. I live with him and when we get into a fight he usually asks me to leave or asks why Iím not leaving. Usually when we argue I stick around because I feel like itís something we can solve. The last we argued I expressed how I felt replaceable, unwanted, etc when he asks me to leave and he responds by saying ď he isnít trying to intentionally hurt meĒ etc. Last night, we get into another argument in which he responds, as usual, ďwhy donít you just leaveĒ knowing how I felt about him asking me that. So #1, it seems he is INTENTIONALLY trying to hurt me, regardless of what he said in the past. So I leave, he texts me how weíre not broken up and I respond by saying how we are in fact over and how I donít deserve to be treated how he treats me. He calls me once that night, I donít answer, and I havenít heard from him since. In my past relationships my significant others would go to great lengths to talk to me, get my attention, etc. and he canít even call me more than once? Why isnít he passionate about me? Why doesnít he feel like how people in my past relationships have felt? When him and his ex gf of 6 years broke up he went into a depression and would do anything to talk to her? Why donít I get that same treatment? Not the depression but at least the thought to try to make up with me, When we argue, even when Iíve done nothing wrong, Iím always the one to call him, and ask whatís going on with us? And Iím tired of it? He claims when we argue he decides to ďgive me spaceĒ which Iíve repeatedly told him I donít need, Iím someone who wants to nip and situation in the bud and move one, instead of dragging it out. It just makes me feel like he doesnít try. What do I do?

  2. #2
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    My question: why are you with this guy?

    Stay gone. Find someone who loves and appreciates you. Your relationship is not healthy and you are not compatible if you are always arguing

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is your name on the lease? How long have you lived there? Do you have your own place? Where do you go when he throws you out? Is your stuff still there? Why would you move in with this creep after dating less than a year? Is this the same creep that wanted a threesome with your friend?

    He's abusive. The only solution is to stay away, block and delete him from all messaging and social media. His goal is to treat you like a worthless rag and hurt you. He enjoys it. It makes him feel powerful and in control. But you know all this. Yet keep going back for more, like an addiction to pain.

    You can't squeeze blood out of a stone and you can't expect love, empathy or decent behavior from abusers like this. What you can do is educate yourself on abusive relationships and make an appointment with a therapist to help you see this and improve your self respect in order to have happier healthier relationships in the future.
    Originally Posted by QuiteConfsd92
    my boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I live with him and when we get into a fight he usually asks me to leave. he responds, as usual, ďwhy donít you just leaveĒ

    #1, it seems he is INTENTIONALLY trying to hurt me

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    I read your other thread. I can't believe you did not follow the posters advice and dump this creep!

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by QuiteConfsd92
    So I leave, he texts me how weíre not broken up and I respond by saying how we are in fact over and how I donít deserve to be treated how he treats me. He calls me once that night, I donít answer, and I havenít heard from him since. In my past relationships my significant others would go to great lengths to talk to me, get my attention, etc. and he canít even call me more than once? Why isnít he passionate about me?
    To be fair, this is a rather immature mindset, OP. You told him it was over. He did try calling you, and chose to ignore it. Not all guys are going to try to chase you down after you'd already dumped them. It sounds like you are engaging in some game-playing in an effort to make him value you. You are trying to make him prove you mean more than his ex did, or that he will "fight" for you the way other guys have. This isn't the way forward, OP, and has no place in a healthy relationship.

    Having said that, this relationship doesn't sound healthy at all, even prior to this incident. You two frequently argue and he essentially kicks you out each time. The dynamic between you and him is toxic. Thus, I would stay broken up. Arrange new housing for yourself and leave this behind you. You two don't have the foundation of anything sustainable over the long-term.

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    I donít think we arenít compatible because we argue, everyone argues. I also donít believe he doesnít value and appreciate me, I just think he dosent know what to do with his anger

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    Originally Posted by QuiteConfsd92
    I donít think we arenít compatible because we argue, everyone argues. I also donít believe he doesnít value and appreciate me, I just think he dosent know what to do with his anger
    So what advice are you truly seeking?

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    Iím just not familiar with someone who acts the way he does. In earlier posts someone said he is abusive or wants to make me feel worthless which I cannot accept because I only feel ďless thanĒ when we argue and he asks me to go, which isnít all the time, some arguments go smoothly and itís not like he kicks me out. All of my things are still there.
    The advice Iím seeking is would be, he does all these things....takes care of me, changes his behavior for the most part for me, why when we have some arguments does everything go out the window? Like nothing previous mattered?

  10. #9
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    Yes he does! He argues, beats you up mentally, throws you out and rages at you. He knows what he's doing and sorry you won't be the person who rescues, fixes or change him with your grand love, sheer awesomeness, magnificent understanding of him and patience or martyrdom. You will just continue to be kicked out and treated like dirt.
    Originally Posted by QuiteConfsd92
    I just think he dosent know what to do with his anger

  11. #10
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    Stop making excuses and trying to change him. This is who he is.

    This is not a healthy or respectful relationship. Never has been.

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