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Thread: My step kids mom is trying to get pregnant...

  1. #11
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Yes, I suspect you will have to get any child support payments reversed. If the 16 year old just walks out, the question is, will your ex still be on court order to pay that child support? Same thing for the 12 year old. That would be a mess if you two had the kids living there with you and their dad was still obligated through court order to continue paying child support payments to the ex.

  2. #12
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    My brother no longer pays support for his 16 year old because she lives with him. Only his other 2 kids. He pays $2000 a month.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Children cannot choose which parent to live with. Children not emancipated are considered legally incompetent and thus are not considered capable nor responsible to make legally binding decisions. That includes custody orders. A judge worth his or her salt will of course consider an older child's preference, but it's still a matter of paying with your time and money to contest a custody order and have the judge rule in favor of the alternative parent. If someone's kid packs up and stays with the other parent without proper procedures having been followed without consequence, the unofficial custodial parent should consider themselves lucky either the custodial parent is legally ignorant or the court is incredibly forgiving.

    But, yes, I ultimately do concur that if you know the 16-year old would overwhelmingly prefer to reside with her father, it may well be worth it to contest the custody order. The older the child is, the more heavily their preference is considered, especially if their siblings (if they have any) share the preference.

  4. #14
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    3 years ago my kids (16,14&11) told our court appointed counsellor that they wanted to live with me and the judge awarded me full custody due to their wishes.

    It doesn't matter that there isn't physical abuse, if they feel emotionally neglected and they explain this to the court, you have a good chance at getting full custody, like I did.

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  6. #15
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    My brother's teenage children expreseed to the court that they wished to live with my brother. They even submitted written statements. The judge denied their request and ordered my brother and his ex wife to attend coparenting classes. For the third time.

    There are no guarantees. Judges can rule however they see fit.

    OP, it's likely their mom is looking for a guaranteed meal ticket.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    My brother's teenage children expreseed to the court that they wished to live with my brother. They even submitted written statements. The judge denied their request and ordered my brother and his ex wife to attend coparenting classes. For the third time.

    There are no guarantees. Judges can rule however they see fit.

    OP, it's likely their mom is looking for a guaranteed meal ticket.
    Omg yes! She even said to us ďwell if I get pregnant with him at least that will be 18 years of child supportĒ we were floored when she said that.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How often do you have your husbands kids with you? What is the custody and visitation schedule? How much child support is he obligated to pay? Try not to echo his disdain and disrespect for his kids' mother. That is very very damaging to them. She is half of who they are. Or take his kids side against her when they do the typical divide and conquer whining about each of their divorced parents.

    It would be best to be as neutral and positive as possible for the children's sake. Never, ever badmouth their mother no matter how much your husband does or they whine about "unfair", etc. Just stay out of it, stop judging and stop trying to usurp their mother. Don't let those kids be in the crossfire in some competition between you and his ex or some war he is still waging with his ex. So sad. Stop.
    Originally Posted by sunflower987
    My husbandís crazy ex...

  9. #18
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Absolutely,yes, never badmouthing a childís parents.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    I have been down this road and Jman is correct that the children can ONLY tell the court where they want to live, the court takes it into consideration but many times denies the request. This is due to parents brainwashing children, buying their love or simply bad mouthing the other parent.
    If the 16 yr old walks away from the mother it is considered a run away and the sheriff will just come fetch her back from the dad.

    Pray the ex doesn't get pregnant, love those kids with all your heart and be there for them the best you can no matter how many times their birth mother bails on them. This is all you can do.

    If she does get pregnant then you may be able to offer to have the 2 kids more so she can focus on the baby. Of course she will still want child support...

    Lost

  11. #20
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    That is weird here in Ontario a 16 year old can walk away and the police can do nothing.

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