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Thread: Age to be a father?

  1. #1
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    Age to be a father?

    Being a 32 year old male Iíve yet to have children.

    Think midlife crisis has hit me as everyone around me seems to be having babies or already have children.

    Iím not even in a relationship currently. Itís not something I want to rush and only want children when I feel ready and more importantly with someone who shares the same values.

    Guess Iím just worried times ticking and increase getting too old?

    ( reassurance please )

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    I know two guys who didn't have their first kids until they were both 40. It's totally normal to not have kids until later on in life.

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    32 is far from ď too oldĒ. It is a pretty average age to start having kids for millennials .

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    My husband and I were 42. Definitely not too old, definite advantages to waiting (we didn't wait intentionally, just how life happened)

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    Originally Posted by monkeynuts
    Being a 32 year old male Iíve yet to have children.

    Think midlife crisis has hit me as everyone around me seems to be having babies or already have children.

    Iím not even in a relationship currently. Itís not something I want to rush and only want children when I feel ready and more importantly with someone who shares the same values.

    Guess Iím just worried times ticking and increase getting too old?

    ( reassurance please )
    The age increases a bit with each generation . When I was born the average age to have kids was 23 . My parents were 20 and 21 so they were a little under average . When I had my son I think the average age was about I donít know 27 to 30 . My husband was 27 and I was almost 31 when my son was born . Now I think the average age is about 32/33 . Many however are older .

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    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Deep breaths, buddy. Read your post yesterdayófeeling for you.

    32 is very, very young still. And unless you're planning on dying at 64, it's pretty far from midlife, so do yourself a favor and dial back on the apocalyptic talk. I'm 39, childless, and feel even younger today than I did when I was, well, 32.

    Something to think about, as you process what you're processing. I think in our early 30s we're going through an important transitionóit's the time when being an adult becomes your reality, the thing to just settle into rather than corral. Yes, you're technically an adult through your 20s, but you have no framework for it. Your recent past is adolescence, and so you spend your 20s hellbent on becoming a "real grown up" with some warped sense that if you haven't gotten there by 30 you're screwed.

    Hence you hear a lot of people in their 20s/early 30s complaining about feeling SO OLD, while a lot of older people are, you know, chilling. They've kind of accepted the great secret of adulthood, which is that it's just a big long mystery. It all goes fast, sure, but there's always so much more time than you think.

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    I think you're a little confused about biology. Women have a clock ticking because they're born with all the eggs they're ever going to have and they lose a bit of their vitality every year. But guys have kids well into their 60s and beyond. You have plenty of time to have kids. Don't get depressed over nothing.

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    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I'm 32 and am fine with my lady having at least a couple years of working and enjoying her salary after the 12 hard years she put into school and residency before we start popping any kids out and starting a family. Ambitiously, I'm thinking maybe by the time I'm 35 (she'd be 33), but I'd honestly be okay if she wanted to push it to when she's 35 (her personal maximum to start). Really, just take yourself physically and I think the rapidly evolving modern medicine will more than likely take care of the rest as far as being a more physically capable "older" parent. I've really come to appreciate enjoying as much of my physical prime as I can not being responsible for a kid.

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    I was 32 when I was blessed with my daughter. Now she's in college and I'm a healthy 50. Nothing wrong with that - I wouldn't change a thing.
    I think being a little older made me more of a wise father...and it worked just fine.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    With women it seems to be a bit more problematic. I'm in my late twenties and I'm not in a relationship and would like to have been on a stable and healthy one for some years before I have kids, so I've set 35 to me. But sometimes I'm afraid I'll get to that age alone and won't be able to do that. But you never know. Just relax, it's perfectly fine to wait.

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