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Thread: My boyfriend changed his mind about us living together

  1. #71
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This is not a good reason to move in with him.
    Originally Posted by CrimsonRose
    living with my parents

  2. #72
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    honestly if i talked about moving in with someone (not ask them "your lease is up this month, wanna move in?") and the next day they were telling their employer and parents that they were moving in with me, that would be rushing me.

    Honestly, i don't believe in "living together" before marriage - but if i did - i think the error here is you thought a) he wants marriage and babies b) i want marriage and babies c) he talked about moving in as a next step equals he wants marriage and babies with ME and I will move in and then we will start thinking about marriage and babies.

    I think you should find a living situation with female roommates. It will be the same or less to live with another professional woman or grad student or something or even 2 than it would be to live with parents. And that way also a guy doesn't feel the pressure of feeling like he is upgrading you from living at mom and dad's. As you grow professionally in your job, you will be able to afford living with one roommate instead of two, or getting a studio apartment instead of roommates perhaps.

  3. #73
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    I think if you really like him you should take the plunge and move, but develop some sort of backup plan in case things go sour in the future and you are forced out on your own. Take advantage of the fact hes providing for you and save that money for a rainy day so to speak. Work hard in your career and remain independent while at the same time cultivating the relationship you have. You don't want to get into a situation where you find a career you really like where he lives and then you two breakup and you have to quit to move back home so to speak. Be optimistic but do not be careless.

  4. #74
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    Originally Posted by Chris12189
    I think if you really like him you should take the plunge and move, but develop some sort of backup plan in case things go sour in the future and you are forced out on your own. Take advantage of the fact hes providing for you and save that money for a rainy day so to speak. Work hard in your career and remain independent while at the same time cultivating the relationship you have. You don't want to get into a situation where you find a career you really like where he lives and then you two breakup and you have to quit to move back home so to speak. Be optimistic but do not be careless.
    Bolded is advice you do NOT want to follow!! Do not set it up for a man to support you (of course unless you are married and home with the tiny children - which is how it should work if you are the stay at home parent or the parent working less to be available for the kids)

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