How does one fill the void in them if they don't have many people to lean on?

With the influence of social media, I've realized that real friends are hard to come by. Especially on days like today, when I feel especially alone. It's my birthday and the only ones who remembered are my parents and sister, who have supported me throughout my struggle with depression and whom I'm eternally grateful for. But it has made me realize how alone I'm going to be when they're gone. My parents are getting old and my sister lives overseas, and very soon it'll just be me. On my own. I don't have any friends I can genuinely say would have my back and it's hard to even go about trying to make new ones when you don't have the mental, physical and emotional energy. It's an unsettling reality that I will have to deal with some day, but right now it's making me feel helpless.

Does anyone have any advice on how to get out of this funk?

Hopefully you are getting medical treatment and seeing a therapist. That could start to improve your energy and mood so making friends would become easier.

One of the posters suggested therapy. If you really are low on energy and sad, you should take that suggestion. If your therapist is worth their salt, they can tell you if you have depression, or not. If you don't want to go to therapy, at least take a vacation far from your computer.

One of my friends has a habbit of walking up to strangers and chatting with them. The ones who treat him nicely remain his friends. His real friends, aren't too many, though. This is because it takes time to build friendships, and time is scarce, plus you need to be selective.

I, on the other hand, select most of my friends from people who walk up to me. I don't remember ever being wrong with those people.

I don't think there is a recipe on how to make friends, but it's quite easy if you are open about who you are and what you believe in (you can also make bitter enemies that way). You can make friends at work, among the neighbors or wherever you hang out. You can become friends with very different people from you by doing things with them. So, I'd suggest volunteering and sports (ping pong requires a small amount of energy). Pick something you enjoy and have fun. If you want to go radical, change your job to one that gives you more interaction with people. That way you learn how to make small talk. I'd also start going to parties, and team building events if I had any at work, and just chat up with colleagues. If you can't be friends with them, you should at least practice small talk and being social with them.

Have you tried therapy or medications? In some cases, they can work wonders. There are also dating sites that are for people with mental health issues.

Have you considered joining one of those? Even if you only made friends, at least it would be better than nothing.

What are you doing to treat your depression? If nothing, or if what you've tried isn't working, seek out the right treatment that will give you the emotional energy to get out into the world instead of isolating yourself. Look for depression support groups in your area. Try a new hobby you can be passionate about that involves meeting up with others who share a love of that hobby. Some people have an instant chemistry and become fast friends. But also, some friendships take a lot longer to take hold with regular contact over the years. Just let things happen organically. Take care.

I've always been a loner, so I don't rely too much on other people. I tell myself that I'm responsible for my own happiness, and I make it true. I've never relied on other people because they always let you down at some point. I don't need anyone to have my back because I have my own back.

I know you're depressed, and that you feel your family wasn't very caring, but you need to rely on yourself and don't look to other people for support. You will always have you to rely on. Don't let yourself down.

I am pretty much a loner but a recent loss (demise of a 29 year marriage 5 months ago) made me acutely aware of how lonely I am at times. The friends I had are spouses of the people that STBX works with. No one has bothered to reach out, although I can understand why, I suppose. IMHO, true friend would reach out and offer an shoulder. Anyway, that's not the issue here. I have joined a couple of Meetup groups. Yes, it's uncomfortable and somewhat stressful attending a group where you are the new kid on the block (or perhaps not) but it's a start. Why not check them out? There are so many groups offering different activities that you are bound to find one of your liking in your area. It will expose you to new people and you can cultivate new friendships. Plus, I was not the only new kid on the block. Surprise, surprise.

Seeking therapy and medical intervention are also beneficial. Happy Birthday to you! Best of luck, and don't give up. Remember, YOU are responsible for your own happiness.

Happy birthday!! May I suggest you go do something you enjoy and makes you feel good today?! You deserve it!

So it's two issues really. Your mental health issues, which others have touched on how important a treatment plan and regular medical care is for that.

And the issue that is highly relatable across all ages and types of people of the changing nature of life and how sometimes we can feel very alone.

Life is constantly changing, ebb and flow, gains and loses. It's a strange human predicament of needing a sense of security, while life itself and the world is in constant flux. But it also means that while what you are feeling right now seems set in stone, it too will and can change.

I've personally gained a lot from volunteering and also from forming connections with people from a broad range of experiences. I've drawn off the wisdom of others a lot particularly in difficult times. It's fascinating and humbling chatting with older people for me, hearing how someone navigates massive shifts in society, the loss of most if not all family, and other things I'm barely getting my brain around still.

That's just one example. Point being, when you are curious and want to know about other people's 'worlds', it can really give perspective on your own and what you have to offer. Everyone has important things to offer others- often that is where meaningful connection is made.

Again happy birthday!! You aren't alone :)

Happy birthday!!

Yes, I’d like to echo what itsallgrand is saying.

My advice to you would be to find ways to give. I know that sounds a little backwards - but in giving, it accomplishes a couple of things:

- it forces you to think beyond yourself

- it forces you to put things into perspective

- it gives you something to do

- you can feel good about making someone else’s life a little bit happier or better

- people (lots of good, like-minded loving people!) are naturally drawn to people who give

Rather than focusing on what you are lacking, I would focus on what you have to give (time, energy, talents, etc). When you are focused on that, the rest usually falls into place.

Yes...Happy Birthday!! :)

Thank you everyone! I really appreciate the words of advice and your kind wishes. Not gonna lie, they made my day

You belong here in this world. Your worth is no less than anyone else's. Don't forget that.

It can be hard to connect with people and to know where to meet them, but YOU MATTER. Try to put yourself out there a bit more, take chances and see if you can even make one friend.

I say one friend, because truth be told, one genuine friend means so much more than 10 fake friends.

It's difficult for many of us. You're not alone.

You belong here in this world. Your worth is no less than anyone else's. Don't forget that.

 

It can be hard to connect with people and to know where to meet them, but YOU MATTER. Try to put yourself out there a bit more, take chances and see if you can even make one friend.

I say one friend, because truth be told, one genuine friend means so much more than 10 fake friends.

 

It's difficult for many of us. You're not alone.

Beautifully said, SherrySher. And, yes, it's difficult for many of us.

Hugs goddess, I often wonder about you too and hope you're hanging in there. I know it can be tough but you're not alone either.

Hugs goddess, I often wonder about you too and hope you're hanging in there. I know it can be tough but you're not alone either.

Hi SherrySher. I am so touched that you've thought of me and took the time to write. It's been a little over 5 months now and I rarely cry. I've had plenty of time to look back at the relationship and I can honestly say that it was filled with so much verbal and emotional abuse and disrespect. It's healthier to not be part of that awful way of living. It became such a way of life for me that it just became my norm. Sad. There were many good times also but there was no escaping his demanding and abusive ways. I often felt like I was walking on egg shells. I couldn't be myself. I hate to admit it but there are times that I miss him. I'm sure that I'll get over that with time. I've come to the conclusion that I ought to have my head examined for putting up with his sh*t for so long. Perhaps I'm more damaged than I realise. Thank you so much for your concern. You are a sweetheart. I also feel that the people on this forum gave me sound advice, comfort and a shoulder to lean on during these dark months. Hugs to you.

Hey Singelitis, How are you doing?

Happy Belated Birthday Singelitis! .

You'd be surprised how many people feel like this at some stage in their life.

I mentioned how I suffered from really bad OCD as a teenager and that lead to depression which made me push people away. I lost a lot of friends because of it.

I ended up starting university and slowly snapped out of that. It was only until then did I start making friends.

I regret I didn't seek out help and therapy prior to that point. So please ensure you at least do that.

It took some time but when I was happier with myself I slowly started to make friends.

I don't have many friends. But you don't need many in this life to be fair. You need a small few.

You will collect them when you least expect to.

Like others were saying once you mood changes you will be more engaging to make friends like I did.

But like someone said it's not a bad thing not having others to rely on either. We are strong enough to support ourselves. You've done so well up until now.

Honestly keep going!

It seems crazy that in this big world we still feel alone. But remember there are people who feel just the same as you did at one stage in your life.

Belated Happy Birthday. To regain back energy is not easy so dont be hard on yourself and take your time. When you feel lonely, you can talk to God if you believe in religion, anytime. Try something that is zen like such as relaxing music. Imagine yourself in a wonderful place. In case you like animals, you can buy a new pet.

To find people who truly care for you takes time but thats not the case with animals.

You've taken the words out of my mouth, it is how I have been feeling as well.

Everyone says to go out and do something you find enjoyable but when you suffer from depression and or anxiety most things are not enjoyable and you have no desire to do them.

They also say go out and make friends. But if all you do is go to work and come home it is a very hard thing to do.

Seems as though we are stuck.