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Thread: Addicted to ex

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by dundermiflin
    Yes, many of us on here do! I'm depressed that people can't make it as couples anymore. At 55 what else does she want? I know that's not fair, but today I'm so bummed about nobody sticking it out anymore.

    I hope you feel better soon; there's always the option of antidepressants temporarily while you pick yourself back up. Otherwise, all you can do is go through it and give it time. And fade away on her, let her miss you.
    Thanks dunder!

  2. #12
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    OP, why do you continue with this wallowing self pity?

    You know what you have to do, so get about it.

    Get a grip, please.

  3. #13
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    It feels like an eternity but 2.5 months really isn't that far along. Bluecastle is exactly right; youll stop contacting her when youre ready to get over her. Youre just not ready yet. Don't rush it. Sit with it. Endure it. It will lighten over time and you probably wont even notice.

    You came to the right place. This forum is full of emotionally rich people that don't get over their past lovers as quickly as they want to. Yes, it's agonizing and takes forever but you will eventually experience moments of relief. Im at almost 9 months and am maybe at 60% healed. Like you, ive been through my share of breakups but none like this last one. I truly do feel like she was my soulmate. Then the next day I feel like there could be someone better out there for me. As they say these days "sometimes it just be like that".

    Keep with it man. Keep posting here and seeking help. Check out Reddit and the Breakup or ExNoContact forums. There is a wealth of support there. Take care buddy

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. What were the reasons for the breakup? Was there another relationship before this that you miss or have regret or remorse about?
    Originally Posted by rsrich
    We've been broken up for 2.5 months after a year together plus a 2-year friendship before that. I'm 55 so I've been through my share of breakups.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by TeddyPSmith
    It feels like an eternity but 2.5 months really isn't that far along. Bluecastle is exactly right; youll stop contacting her when youre ready to get over her. Youre just not ready yet. Don't rush it. Sit with it. Endure it. It will lighten over time and you probably wont even notice.

    You came to the right place. This forum is full of emotionally rich people that don't get over their past lovers as quickly as they want to. Yes, it's agonizing and takes forever but you will eventually experience moments of relief. Im at almost 9 months and am maybe at 60% healed. Like you, ive been through my share of breakups but none like this last one. I truly do feel like she was my soulmate. Then the next day I feel like there could be someone better out there for me. As they say these days "sometimes it just be like that".

    Keep with it man. Keep posting here and seeking help. Check out Reddit and the Breakup or ExNoContact forums. There is a wealth of support there. Take care buddy
    Thanks Teddy! Sorry about your breakup...

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to hear this. What were the reasons for the breakup? Was there another relationship before this that you miss or have regret or remorse about?
    She wasn't in love like I was. And, yes, I have two other breakups in my past which I had a lot of trouble getting over. Neither was this difficult but they were hard.

  8. #17
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    Hi OP! I feel your pain! Itís taken 3 years after my breakup with my ex of eleven years too still be in a ?? How am I going to get through this? Phase. There really is no time frame for mourning the loss of a relationship. For your sake I hope itís sooner then three years.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Hi OP! I feel your pain! Itís taken 3 years after my breakup with my ex of eleven years too still be in a ?? How am I going to get through this? Phase. There really is no time frame for mourning the loss of a relationship. For your sake I hope itís sooner then three years.
    Thanks for posting this limichelle* ~ I wanted to respond to rsrich* too but I guess I get tired of hearing peoples frustration at the fact I/we are still having a hard time getting past this. And of course I'm frustrated myself! I've tried absolutely everything so it's not like I've spent my time drinking bourbon lying on the couch in my sluggos...

    rsrich* ~ Yes I feel your pain too, and I'm still feeling it 13 months out. I was married and bonded with her two children.....

    13 months since we parted but then months of breadcrumbs which helped her wean off me and I just wasn't strong enough to cut her off....and of course I held onto Hope for the longest time....

    Reconciliation does take communication too. I don't believe ignoring someone will fix anything and I also feel it's a bit immature....unless they did something pretty nasty like cheating or abuse etc....

    But do watch out for those breadcrumbs as they can drag you along for much longer than is necessary....

    I'm truly sorry for your pain. I too have had several difficult breakups in my life but nothing like this! This is something else....In fact after this long I find myself thinking 'WTAF!??".....

    If you haven't ever heard of attachment theory I recommend looking into that. It does explain quite a bit about why it takes some people longer than others to move past breakups...Also the depth of the connection obviously plays a part...
    Video for you ~ [Register to see the link]

    The title of your thread is quite apt too....Yes it is akin to addiction and the withdrawals are extremely brutal....

    Having said all that, 2-3 months is only very early stages. You're in the thick of it.....So please look after yourself best you can. Grieving is exhausting and takes it's toll both physically and mentally so try to sleep and eat best you can. Go for walks. Drink lots of water. Stay off the alcohol if you can...

    Hope this helped a bit. I too hope it doesn't take you too long. Most people recover fairly quickly, but there are some of us that don't. So don't beat yourself up too much about that ok....

    Carus*

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Hi OP! I feel your pain! Itís taken 3 years after my breakup with my ex of eleven years too still be in a ?? How am I going to get through this? Phase. There really is no time frame for mourning the loss of a relationship. For your sake I hope itís sooner then three years.
    Thanks limichelle. 3 years. I'm so sorry. That's a long time to be in pain!

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Carus
    Thanks for posting this limichelle* ~ I wanted to respond to rsrich* too but I guess I get tired of hearing peoples frustration at the fact I/we are still having a hard time getting past this. And of course I'm frustrated myself! I've tried absolutely everything so it's not like I've spent my time drinking bourbon lying on the couch in my sluggos...

    rsrich* ~ Yes I feel your pain too, and I'm still feeling it 13 months out. I was married and bonded with her two children.....

    13 months since we parted but then months of breadcrumbs which helped her wean off me and I just wasn't strong enough to cut her off....and of course I held onto Hope for the longest time....

    Reconciliation does take communication too. I don't believe ignoring someone will fix anything and I also feel it's a bit immature....unless they did something pretty nasty like cheating or abuse etc....

    But do watch out for those breadcrumbs as they can drag you along for much longer than is necessary....

    I'm truly sorry for your pain. I too have had several difficult breakups in my life but nothing like this! This is something else....In fact after this long I find myself thinking 'WTAF!??".....

    If you haven't ever heard of attachment theory I recommend looking into that. It does explain quite a bit about why it takes some people longer than others to move past breakups...Also the depth of the connection obviously plays a part...
    Video for you ~ [Register to see the link]

    The title of your thread is quite apt too....Yes it is akin to addiction and the withdrawals are extremely brutal....

    Having said all that, 2-3 months is only very early stages. You're in the thick of it.....So please look after yourself best you can. Grieving is exhausting and takes it's toll both physically and mentally so try to sleep and eat best you can. Go for walks. Drink lots of water. Stay off the alcohol if you can...

    Hope this helped a bit. I too hope it doesn't take you too long. Most people recover fairly quickly, but there are some of us that don't. So don't beat yourself up too much about that ok....

    Carus*
    Hey Carus.... thank you. I'm sorry for your pain as well. It's a crazy thing how one person can imprint on our brain and cause us so much grief.

  12. 11-22-2018, 12:59 PM

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