Addicted to ex

Anyone else truly feel as though they will never get over their ex? We've been broken up for 2.5 months after a year together plus a 2-year friendship before that and I can't shake her. I am devastated and am no closer to being over her than I was at the beginning. Admittedly, I have been in contact with her since we broke up through text and some phone conversation so I have had issues going no contact. The longest I can last is a week. I usually just figure that I can at least get some temporary relief by texting her rather than going through the agony of no contact. Since I can't see getting over her anyway, I figure, what does it matter? By the way, I'm 55 so I've been through my share of breakups but none as agonizing as this one.

Why did you two break up?

She wasn't "feeling" it... not in love.

Two and a half months is nothing. Just give it time, I guarantee 8 months from how you'll be feeling a lot better.

U need to stop talking to her. That's just sticking your hand in the flame willingly.

You'll never get over her if you keep contacting her.

U need to stop talking to her. That's just sticking your hand in the flame willingly.

I keep trying to go no contact but end up giving in and contacting her. I just feel I won't get over her... first time I've ever felt this way after a breakup and it's depressing and devastating. Anyone else understand this feeling??

Feeling for you, budddy.

What you’re feeling now? It has a simple diagnosis: it’s called being a human, and this is the sharp edge to all the awesomeness. It sucks, yeah. But you’re so not alone.

2.5 months is an eyelash, the sneeze of a flea on the breakup radar. Feel what you need to feel—no rush. Sure, you’re probably picking at the scab a bit through contact, but you know this: you’ve been to the rodeo before. You’ll start cutting that down when you’re ready to get over her.

Right now you’re simply not, and that’s okay. It’s a place to sit. The most scalding of baths turn warm, and then cool, in time.

I’ve been in your shoes plenty. And, miraculously, I’ve been out of them. You will too. Ride the waves, be kind to yourself.

Yes, many of us on here do! I'm depressed that people can't make it as couples anymore. At 55 what else does she want? I know that's not fair, but today I'm so bummed about nobody sticking it out anymore.

I hope you feel better soon; there's always the option of antidepressants temporarily while you pick yourself back up. Otherwise, all you can do is go through it and give it time. And fade away on her, let her miss you.

Feeling for you, budddy.

 

What you’re feeling now? It has a simple diagnosis: it’s called being a human, and this is the sharp edge to all the awesomeness. It sucks, yeah. But you’re so not alone.

 

2.5 months is an eyelash, the sneeze of a flea on the breakup radar. Feel what you need to feel—no rush. Sure, you’re probably picking at the scab a bit through contact, but you know this: you’ve been to the rodeo before. You’ll start cutting that down when you’re ready to get over her.

 

Right now you’re simply not, and that’s okay. It’s a place to sit. The most scalding of baths turn warm, and then cool, in time.

 

I’ve been in your shoes plenty. And, miraculously, I’ve been out of them. You will too. Ride the waves, be kind to yourself.

Thanks bluecastle....appreciate the words of wisdom.

Yes, many of us on here do! I'm depressed that people can't make it as couples anymore. At 55 what else does she want? I know that's not fair, but today I'm so bummed about nobody sticking it out anymore.

 

I hope you feel better soon; there's always the option of antidepressants temporarily while you pick yourself back up. Otherwise, all you can do is go through it and give it time. And fade away on her, let her miss you.

Thanks dunder!

OP, why do you continue with this wallowing self pity?

You know what you have to do, so get about it.

Get a grip, please.

It feels like an eternity but 2.5 months really isn't that far along. Bluecastle is exactly right; youll stop contacting her when youre ready to get over her. Youre just not ready yet. Don't rush it. Sit with it. Endure it. It will lighten over time and you probably wont even notice.

You came to the right place. This forum is full of emotionally rich people that don't get over their past lovers as quickly as they want to. Yes, it's agonizing and takes forever but you will eventually experience moments of relief. Im at almost 9 months and am maybe at 60% healed. Like you, ive been through my share of breakups but none like this last one. I truly do feel like she was my soulmate. Then the next day I feel like there could be someone better out there for me. As they say these days "sometimes it just be like that".

Keep with it man. Keep posting here and seeking help. Check out Reddit and the Breakup or ExNoContact forums. There is a wealth of support there. Take care buddy

Sorry to hear this. What were the reasons for the breakup? Was there another relationship before this that you miss or have regret or remorse about?

We've been broken up for 2.5 months after a year together plus a 2-year friendship before that. I'm 55 so I've been through my share of breakups.

It feels like an eternity but 2.5 months really isn't that far along. Bluecastle is exactly right; youll stop contacting her when youre ready to get over her. Youre just not ready yet. Don't rush it. Sit with it. Endure it. It will lighten over time and you probably wont even notice.

 

You came to the right place. This forum is full of emotionally rich people that don't get over their past lovers as quickly as they want to. Yes, it's agonizing and takes forever but you will eventually experience moments of relief. Im at almost 9 months and am maybe at 60% healed. Like you, ive been through my share of breakups but none like this last one. I truly do feel like she was my soulmate. Then the next day I feel like there could be someone better out there for me. As they say these days "sometimes it just be like that".

 

Keep with it man. Keep posting here and seeking help. Check out Reddit and the Breakup or ExNoContact forums. There is a wealth of support there. Take care buddy

Thanks Teddy! Sorry about your breakup...

Sorry to hear this. What were the reasons for the breakup? Was there another relationship before this that you miss or have regret or remorse about?

She wasn't in love like I was. And, yes, I have two other breakups in my past which I had a lot of trouble getting over. Neither was this difficult but they were hard.

Hi OP! I feel your pain! It’s taken 3 years after my breakup with my ex of eleven years too still be in a ?? How am I going to get through this? Phase. There really is no time frame for mourning the loss of a relationship. For your sake I hope it’s sooner then three years.

Hi OP! I feel your pain! It’s taken 3 years after my breakup with my ex of eleven years too still be in a ?? How am I going to get through this? Phase. There really is no time frame for mourning the loss of a relationship. For your sake I hope it’s sooner then three years.

Thanks for posting this limichelle* ~ I wanted to respond to rsrich* too but I guess I get tired of hearing peoples frustration at the fact I/we are still having a hard time getting past this. And of course I'm frustrated myself! I've tried absolutely everything so it's not like I've spent my time drinking bourbon lying on the couch in my sluggos...

rsrich* ~ Yes I feel your pain too, and I'm still feeling it 13 months out. I was married and bonded with her two children.....

13 months since we parted but then months of breadcrumbs which helped her wean off me and I just wasn't strong enough to cut her off....and of course I held onto Hope for the longest time....

Reconciliation does take communication too. I don't believe ignoring someone will fix anything and I also feel it's a bit immature....unless they did something pretty nasty like cheating or abuse etc....

But do watch out for those breadcrumbs as they can drag you along for much longer than is necessary....

I'm truly sorry for your pain. I too have had several difficult breakups in my life but nothing like this! This is something else....In fact after this long I find myself thinking 'WTAF!??".....

If you haven't ever heard of attachment theory I recommend looking into that. It does explain quite a bit about why it takes some people longer than others to move past breakups...Also the depth of the connection obviously plays a part...

Video for you ~

The title of your thread is quite apt too....Yes it is akin to addiction and the withdrawals are extremely brutal....

Having said all that, 2-3 months is only very early stages. You're in the thick of it.....So please look after yourself best you can. Grieving is exhausting and takes it's toll both physically and mentally so try to sleep and eat best you can. Go for walks. Drink lots of water. Stay off the alcohol if you can...

Hope this helped a bit. I too hope it doesn't take you too long. Most people recover fairly quickly, but there are some of us that don't. So don't beat yourself up too much about that ok....

Carus*

Hi OP! I feel your pain! It’s taken 3 years after my breakup with my ex of eleven years too still be in a ?? How am I going to get through this? Phase. There really is no time frame for mourning the loss of a relationship. For your sake I hope it’s sooner then three years.

Thanks limichelle. 3 years. I'm so sorry. That's a long time to be in pain!

Thanks for posting this limichelle* ~ I wanted to respond to rsrich* too but I guess I get tired of hearing peoples frustration at the fact I/we are still having a hard time getting past this. And of course I'm frustrated myself! I've tried absolutely everything so it's not like I've spent my time drinking bourbon lying on the couch in my sluggos...

 

rsrich* ~ Yes I feel your pain too, and I'm still feeling it 13 months out. I was married and bonded with her two children.....

 

13 months since we parted but then months of breadcrumbs which helped her wean off me and I just wasn't strong enough to cut her off....and of course I held onto Hope for the longest time....

 

Reconciliation does take communication too. I don't believe ignoring someone will fix anything and I also feel it's a bit immature....unless they did something pretty nasty like cheating or abuse etc....

 

But do watch out for those breadcrumbs as they can drag you along for much longer than is necessary....

 

I'm truly sorry for your pain. I too have had several difficult breakups in my life but nothing like this! This is something else....In fact after this long I find myself thinking 'WTAF!??".....

 

If you haven't ever heard of attachment theory I recommend looking into that. It does explain quite a bit about why it takes some people longer than others to move past breakups...Also the depth of the connection obviously plays a part...

Video for you ~

 

The title of your thread is quite apt too....Yes it is akin to addiction and the withdrawals are extremely brutal....

 

Having said all that, 2-3 months is only very early stages. You're in the thick of it.....So please look after yourself best you can. Grieving is exhausting and takes it's toll both physically and mentally so try to sleep and eat best you can. Go for walks. Drink lots of water. Stay off the alcohol if you can...

 

Hope this helped a bit. I too hope it doesn't take you too long. Most people recover fairly quickly, but there are some of us that don't. So don't beat yourself up too much about that ok....

 

Carus*

Hey Carus.... thank you. I'm sorry for your pain as well. It's a crazy thing how one person can imprint on our brain and cause us so much grief.

Is it like total devastation? That's what I am feeling. But I always do this.....I put way too much into the relationship so when it's done, I an devastated.

I give her too much control, too much power....like I am expecting her to make my life perfect. Inside I am a wreck, so for some reason I put the

responsibility of making me better onto her. She becomes like a God. (Sorry, just started rambling a bit....I am an older man too, and I related to your

post......)