Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 46 of 47 FirstFirst ... 4344454647 LastLast
Results 451 to 460 of 466

Thread: Is he just not into me after all?

  1. #451
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    96
    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    Nevermind, onwards and upwards Lex!

    Just a word of advice: next time slow down on the sex and never reward bad behaviour with more affection. I wouldn't have had sex with him in the weekend after how he acted. Soooo try not to do that again.
    I totally get that. But for what itís worth, I am still attracted to him and wanted it too. So it didnít cross my mind to refrain from it.

  2. #452
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    9,600
    Originally Posted by Lex00
    Weíve only spent about 3 Fridays together, because he needs that one night to unwind and ďrechargeĒ as he puts it, after his long work week and time with the kids.

    I really wish I can just call him out on it and tell him how I feel. It will get me no where, I know this...
    Lex, in this case, your silence will say more than any words ever could.

  3. #453
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,433
    Originally Posted by Lex00
    I totally get that. But for what itís worth, I am still attracted to him and wanted it too. So it didnít cross my mind to refrain from it.
    I would look into why it never occurred to you and what your feelings are on casual sex and sex without commitment -because that's basically what this was -you had sex with a person who you felt was no longer committed to progressing/getting closer to you in your relationship. It's completely fine if you're comfortable having sex because you are attracted to the person and it is pleasurable. It's just that you posted a lot about your concerns about his not being that into you and not showing he cared/saw you as a potential future partner - do you compartmentalize sex so that having sex doesn't relate to that concern and it's just something pleasurable when the attraction is there?

  4. #454
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    9,600
    Originally Posted by Lex00
    I totally get that. But for what itís worth, I am still attracted to him and wanted it too. So it didnít cross my mind to refrain from it.
    Well as long as you're okay with it now, knowing he's pretty much done, as are you, that's OK.

    Given all that's gone down as of late, I would not have been okay with having sex, but then again, I wouldn't have gone on the date at all.

    Would have been done quite a while ago, not to punish or anything; with so little interaction, I would simply have disconnected, felt disheartened, among other unpleasant emotions.

    When I start feeling that way, I'm done and move on.

    Just me.

  5.  

  6. #455
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,815
    So, and I promise I'm not judging you, because I promise I've put myself in worse situations....

    After he told you about the party to which you weren't invited......
    And after he told you it would probably be a few weeks before you'd see each other again.....
    and after he ignored your request for more in-between date communication.....

    you still had sex?????

    Of course he's going to contact you again, silly girl. He'll get horny in a couple of days, be horny enough in 3-5 days that he'll need to contact you again, and he'll be so super horny within 10 days, that he'll be dying to see you.

    This isn't "after the holidays", this will be very soon. Boy wants sex. Boy knows where to find sex. Girl won't complain. Girl will willingly have sex. Phone, meet text.

  7. #456
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    96
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I would look into why it never occurred to you and what your feelings are on casual sex and sex without commitment -because that's basically what this was -you had sex with a person who you felt was no longer committed to progressing/getting closer to you in your relationship. It's completely fine if you're comfortable having sex because you are attracted to the person and it is pleasurable. It's just that you posted a lot about your concerns about his not being that into you and not showing he cared/saw you as a potential future partner - do you compartmentalize sex so that having sex doesn't relate to that concern and it's just something pleasurable when the attraction is there?
    When I first met him, I was ok with the fact it could be just casual. I actually had it in my mind I wasnít looking for a relationship and have even told friends if I met someone that I would want a strictly FWB relationship. For a past few years after my divorce, thatís how itís been for me and Iím totally ok with it. Actually preferred it and my feelings never got involved. Had good times with the guys I was seeing, things faded off and I never thought anything of it or got hurt.

    This is why Iím having a hard time. Because this is the first guy Iíve developed deeper feelings for. So yes, at first I was going in thinking it would be casual but then things moved fast and seemed like a deeper connection for me so I fell pretty hard. So it turned out I really wanted a relationship with this one.

  8. #457
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    9,600
    Originally Posted by LHGirl

    Boy wants sex. Boy knows where to find sex. Girl won't complain. Girl will willingly have sex. Phone, meet, sex, followed by distance -- lather, rinse, repeat.

    Edited that a bit, but this^ is telling, as was most, if not all, of what LHGirl has posted on this thread.

    We teach people how to treat us.

    I'm sorry. :(
    Last edited by katrina1980; 12-03-2018 at 03:15 PM.

  9. #458
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    9,600
    Lex, do you think you have developed a bit an addiction to him, as I suggested earlier?

    The sex on Saturday, despite all that has gone down and your feeling so anxious and so unhappy as of late, frankly I'm finding it difficult to understand how you could have even wanted to have sex with him.

    I'm projecting, but I wouldn't have even wanted to go on the date, let alone had sex with him.

    So, getting back to the addiction thing, was having sex sort of your one last "fix"?

    And now you can let it go and move on?

    Edit: If you were/are a bit addicted, not judging I promise. I was addicted to my ex for six years (while in the RL) -- him, the sex (mostly), all of it; that's how I know it's real thing. And I have learned a hell of a lot since our RL ended two years ago. About myself, relationships, men, life!
    Last edited by katrina1980; 12-03-2018 at 03:31 PM.

  10. #459
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    96
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Lex, do you think you have developed a bit an addiction to him, as I suggested earlier?

    The sex on Saturday, despite all that has gone down and your feeling so anxious and so unhappy as of late, frankly I'm finding it difficult to understand how you could have even wanted to have sex with him.

    I'm projecting, but I wouldn't have even wanted to go on the date, let alone had sex with him.

    So, getting back to the addiction thing, was having sex sort of your one last "fix"?

    And now you can let it go and move on?

    Edit: If you were/are a bit addicted, not judging I promise. I was addicted to my ex for six years (while in the RL) -- him, the sex (mostly), all of it; that's how I know it's real thing. And I have learned a hell of a lot since our RL ended two years ago. About myself, relationships, men, life!
    I would say yes... it was my intention to just have a good time. One last time and distance myself, or just be done.

  11. #460
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,433
    Originally Posted by Lex00
    I would say yes... it was my intention to just have a good time. One last time and distance myself, or just be done.
    It sounds like you can compartmentalize and be casual about sex -I was just surprised because you wrote a lot about the feelings you had so it was no longer a casual arrangement -emotionally-for you. I understand that you wanted to have sex because it's fun and pleasurable and you didn't think it would affect your ability to distance yourself from him.

Page 46 of 47 FirstFirst ... 4344454647 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •