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Thread: Is he just not into me after all?

  1. #441
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Is it done in your mind or did he say this? It seems he's giving you the heads up that he will be doing a holiday thing on as you put it..."doing the same routine. My house, restaurant, back home, stay the night, coffee in the morning". And this would be a departure from that pattern. He also mentioned that he has a few things going on in Dec last time he say you. It sounds like he is assuming he will see you on the next available Sat.
    Well itís done in my mind. No, he didnít say it, but he doesnít have to say itís done as I feel his message was alluding to that. Basically giving me the hint that ďhey, Iím continuing to distance myself, showing you I donít want you to be involved by not inviting you to my get together, and by me totally being ok with not seeing you all this timeĒ. That is the message I received.

  2. #442
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    Originally Posted by Lex00
    Well itís done in my mind. No, he didnít say it, but he doesnít have to say itís done as I feel his message was alluding to that. Basically giving me the hint that ďhey, Iím continuing to distance myself, showing you I donít want you to be involved by not inviting you to my get together, and by me totally being ok with not seeing you all this timeĒ. That is the message I received.
    No need to read into what he said. He's been dating you almost 3 months, he's having sex with you and sleeping in your bed and he's telling you he doesn't value you enough to invite you to this party and he is not troubled by not seeing you this month and leaving it open ended when he will see you again. Part of that is analysis but surface/common sense analysis. No need to even think of it as "what message does he want me to receive" - he's being very direct.

  3. #443
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    Agree with others.

    And I would be 1000% done with this, being told about a party to which I'm not invited. I mean, who does that? He's only doing it for the "loophole" effect. So you can't come back and say something about Saturday, and he can use the loophole....well, I did tell you about it, and it's only for "close" friends....which you are obviously not.

    You are "close enough" to have sex, share my body with, but not a meal in front of other people. Nice.

    Nothing changed. You keep asking, ruminating over, what changed? Answer: Nothing!

    He wooed you. He love-bombed you. He was all hearts & smiles early on, and then, when he had exactly what he wanted: a F-buddy who wouldn't question why he was in her building weekly but would barely glance, he retreated into his normal self. This is who he is, not that early smiley-texting-lovey-dovey nonsense he faked you with at first.

    Please tell us you're done with him once and for all.

    You will hear from him again. He is going to get horny soon! Your choice Lex.

  4. #444
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    I am sorry too Lex and agree with others.

    I am curious, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but did you have sex on Saturday? I won't judge either way, but I hope not.

    You said the way he acted seemed more like a friend. This is also consistent with his recent texts in which you said they were more like something he would send to one of his buddies as opposed to a woman he is dating and has romantic feelings for.

    Yeah he's on his way out, and I know others mentioned not reading into any covert messages he's sending by not inviting you to his party, but I think him not inviting you was sending you a very clear message and it was intentional.

    He is setting you up to expect very little, if anything, from him; after three months, this would not be acceptable to me and it sounds like it's not acceptable to you either.

    I wouldn't even be pulling back, per se, I would just be done. This "dating interaction" (I wouldn't even call it a relationship) is not even casual at this point, it's non-existent.

    It's called "the fade" and he's being very clear here.

    I would heed the message, and simply move on. Get back on the site, start meeting and dating other men.

    Again, I am sorry it didn't work out Lex.

  5.  

  6. #445
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    And if/when he contacts you again (which agree with LHGirl, he will), I would simply decline his invite, tell him you have moved on and wish him well.

    No need for any formal explanations, you're just done.

  7. #446
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    Katrina, I may rephrase- When I mentioned he acted like a friend on Saturday, I meant he was very talkative, like opened up as if I were one of the guys. But still affectionate. So that part didnít go away. And yes, we did have sex. Not that the affection meant anything, any guy can exhibit that if heís even just somewhat attracted to a girl, but I just wanted to clarify it wasnít buddy buddy the whole entire time.

  8. #447
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    I agree with everyone else too. Plus, he isnít even making plans to see you on the Friday, and from what I recall, you two were spending time together on both Fridays and Saturdays when you began dating, right?

    I hope you get back on that site and begin meeting other people, Lex.

    Heís doing the bare minimum, is complacent.

  9. #448
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    I think after the holidays are over- with the parties, other commitments, Christmas stress, and the fact he said work was crazy this month but he will finally have a break next month, the he WILL be in touch. By then, I would have sufficient time to heal and look back at how silly I was for investing so much.

    I wonít be going on anymore dating sites though. I donít want the same things to happen where I would meet a guy, then worry heís still on it. So Iím hopi g one day to just meet someone great, organically.

  10. #449
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    Nevermind, onwards and upwards Lex!

    Just a word of advice: next time slow down on the sex and never reward bad behaviour with more affection. I wouldn't have had sex with him in the weekend after how he acted. Soooo try not to do that again.

  11. #450
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    I agree with everyone else too. Plus, he isnít even making plans to see you on the Friday, and from what I recall, you two were spending time together on both Fridays and Saturdays when you began dating, right?

    I hope you get back on that site and begin meeting other people, Lex.

    Heís doing the bare minimum, is complacent.
    Weíve only spent about 3 Fridays together, because he needs that one night to unwind and ďrechargeĒ as he puts it, after his long work week and time with the kids.

    I really wish I can just call him out on it and tell him how I feel. It will get me no where, I know this...

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