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Thread: Is he just not into me after all?

  1. #431
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    I think I am crazy for continuing to post lol, but when someone is in the the throes of an addiction, in this case "love addiction" which I asked Lex about earlier and she hasn't responded, despite how "crazy" we feel, we are at a loss to walk away, all we think about is getting our "fix."

    Which she's getting now.

    She had sex with this man very early on (first or second date), and thus became very attached, too soon. IMO in a very unhealthy way and now she's a bit addicted and unable to break away.

    So no matter how many pages this thread goes, however many posts trying to help her recognize the issues and either make changes (within herself) or walk away, all she is thinking about is getting her fix.

    So I am pretty much done here; what's that saying about the def of insanity?

    Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Or something like that.

    Wish you the best Lex, good luck!!

  2. #432
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    I think I am crazy for continuing to post lol, but when someone is in the the throes of an addiction, in this case "love addiction" which I asked Lex about earlier and she hasn't responded, despite how "crazy" we feel, we are at a loss to walk away, all we think about is getting our "fix."

    Which she's getting now.

    She had sex with this man very early on (first or second date), and thus became very attached, too soon. IMO in a very unhealthy way and now she's a bit addicted and unable to break away.

    So no matter how many pages this thread goes, however many posts trying to help her recognize the issues and either make changes (within herself) or walk away, all she is thinking about is getting her fix.

    So I am pretty much done here; what's that saying about the def of insanity?

    Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Or something like that.

    Wish you the best Lex, good luck!!
    Sweetheart, like the Terminator said "I'll be back!!!"

    Maybe you wont post, but like any interesting thread, you will come back to see the outcome of it all. ;)

  3. #433
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    @MAXX, oh yeah I will definitely be reading again for sure!

    Hell I may even post again, right now don't think so, but that could change!

    I've often said I won't be posting anymore on a thread, then have.

    I admit I can be a bit full of s*** sometimes, I always mean well though. Lol

  4. #434
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    I hope Kex updates!! And that everything works out eventually.

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  6. #435
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    Hi all, not much of an update, but we did see each other on Saturday. Things seemed normal although there may have been a tad bit of distance. Not sure if that was stemming from my insecurities about the relationship but he was still affectionate, very talkative, almost like a friend. But heís grown to be very comfortable now, really opens up.

    Youíre all right- and Iíve known this, just hard to accept, but this is done. On the way to the restaurant, he made it a point to mention to me, just so Iím aware and donít expect to see him the next Saturday we have together- that he is having a very small (less than 10 people) get together at his place for Christmas. His friend asked him to host and itís just his very close friends, not sure if I remember if itís famiky too. But he doesnít have his kids that day so Iím assuming close friends and perhaps their wives. Of course I wasnít invited.

    So thatís that... if we ever do have another Saturday together, it wonít be until the end of the month, but by then, things wouldíve already died itís natural death. And he hasnít offered up a Friday in a while so sadly this is done. Thank you all for investing in this long, exhausting thread of mine. Wish I wouldíve listened a month ago. :(

  7. #436
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    Originally Posted by Lex00
    Hi all, not much of an update, but we did see each other on Saturday. Things seemed normal although there may have been a tad bit of distance. Not sure if that was stemming from my insecurities about the relationship but he was still affectionate, very talkative, almost like a friend. But heís grown to be very comfortable now, really opens up.

    Youíre all right- and Iíve known this, just hard to accept, but this is done. On the way to the restaurant, he made it a point to mention to me, just so Iím aware and donít expect to see him the next Saturday we have together- that he is having a very small (less than 10 people) get together at his place for Christmas. His friend asked him to host and itís just his very close friends, not sure if I remember if itís famiky too. But he doesnít have his kids that day so Iím assuming close friends and perhaps their wives. Of course I wasnít invited.

    So thatís that... if we ever do have another Saturday together, it wonít be until the end of the month, but by then, things wouldíve already died itís natural death. And he hasnít offered up a Friday in a while so sadly this is done. Thank you all for investing in this long, exhausting thread of mine. Wish I wouldíve listened a month ago. :(
    Lex, if I can offer any advice is to take this time to reflect on the relationship, where it is now, and how you ended up in this spot. It may or may not be done, but that shouldn't be the focus. In these instances re-attraction can still occur, but only if you remain calm and not needy!!! For now step away and do not text! IF there is any interest left he will reach out to you...if not, that's fine too.

  8. #437
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    Originally Posted by MAXX
    Lex, if I can offer any advice is to take this time to reflect on the relationship, where it is now, and how you ended up in this spot. It may or may not be done, but that shouldn't be the focus. In these instances re-attraction can still occur, but only if you remain calm and not needy!!! For now step away and do not text! IF there is any interest left he will reach out to you...if not, that's fine too.
    Iíve been playing things over and over in my head trying to figure out what went wrong. He was so keen the first month. Iíd say things changed a little towards the end of October but I canít think of anything that I may have said or done. Iíve been pretty consistent, and I honestly donít think Iíve been needy or too eager because he would mention a date, I would agree. I would mention a date, he would agree. Perhaps we have been doing the same routine and heís bored now. My house, restaurant, back home, stay the night, coffee in the morning. Same with his house.

    I appreciate the reply, Maxx, and I will do just that. Step away. I hadnít thought of it before because he still showed interest, even if it wasnít as much as before, he still did. And thatís why I was still engaging and making plans with him and reaching out. But now there just isnít anything left to hold on to really. So I think it will feel more natural for me to back off now, as hard as it will be.

  9. #438
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    I'm really sorry to her this Lex, I've been keeping up with the thread on and off.

    I was hoping things would work out. Espicially after you said how you kept a lot of your anxiety away from him.

    The level of anxiety you was exhibiting was very normal with his behaviour. You hid it so that's obviously not an issue. So please don't beat yourself up with that.

    I know that stage! Most of us on this thread do! That going over and over. Things that was done and said. Things you wish you did differently. It's all part of the "getting over this" stage.

    I know you said you wished you had listened to everyone a month ago. But if you did you wouldn't have learnt all you know now. You would have regreted not trying. At least you can say you have given your all and know there is nothing more to give. So you can go forward with no regrets.

    It's baffling and we will never understand this whole "dating". So many of us have been there. They come on so keen then feel like they've "lost interest". Will any of us now why? Nope. It just happens. It's all a part of dating really.

    Like Maxx said it may not be over and you could rebuild that attractive.

    My best advice would be focus on Christmas with the people you treasure. If he wants to keep in touch he will. If he doesn't then who cares are you are enjoying the festive season.

    Best of luck with it all x

  10. #439
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    Originally Posted by Lex00
    Hi all, not much of an update, but we did see each other on Saturday. Things seemed normal although there may have been a tad bit of distance. Not sure if that was stemming from my insecurities about the relationship but he was still affectionate, very talkative, almost like a friend. But heís grown to be very comfortable now, really opens up.

    Youíre all right- and Iíve known this, just hard to accept, but this is done. On the way to the restaurant, he made it a point to mention to me, just so Iím aware and donít expect to see him the next Saturday we have together- that he is having a very small (less than 10 people) get together at his place for Christmas. His friend asked him to host and itís just his very close friends, not sure if I remember if itís famiky too. But he doesnít have his kids that day so Iím assuming close friends and perhaps their wives. Of course I wasnít invited.

    So thatís that... if we ever do have another Saturday together, it wonít be until the end of the month, but by then, things wouldíve already died itís natural death. And he hasnít offered up a Friday in a while so sadly this is done. Thank you all for investing in this long, exhausting thread of mine. Wish I wouldíve listened a month ago. :(
    I would be absolutely done if you are not invited to his party. I don't care if he is hosting "for his friend" - please. Is he a professional event planner?

    Yes if his kids are going to be there I would understand. And if that was the case and he really wanted to be with you he'd have told you "I wish I could invite you but my kids will be there and it's too soon for you to meet them."

    That plus not seeming to care if he won't see you until the end of the month (especially if you celebrate Christmas) is just all the more reason for you to step away. Even if he does ask to see you.

  11. #440
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is it done in your mind or did he say this? It seems he's giving you the heads up that he will be doing a holiday thing on as you put it..."doing the same routine. My house, restaurant, back home, stay the night, coffee in the morning". And this would be a departure from that pattern. He also mentioned that he has a few things going on in Dec last time he say you. It sounds like he is assuming he will see you on the next available Sat.
    Originally Posted by Lex00
    he was still affectionate, very talkative, almost like a friend. But heís grown to be very comfortable now, really opens up. just so Iím aware and donít expect to see him the next Saturday we have together- that he is having a very small get together at his place for Christmas. if we ever do have another Saturday together, it wonít be until the end of the month.


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