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Thread: I feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life

  1. #1

    I feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life

    I just realised that i have made the biggest mistake when i decided to transfer myself from the arts highscool 3 years ago. Since I was little i always enjoyed dancing, actually it was one of the few things I was good at. After I didnít got in the highscool that I wanted (one of the best in my town that focuses on humanities) I thought that maybe I should just focus on what I am really good at and I went to a ballet audition at the Arts highscool where I got accepted. Everything was going great, academically speaking. But it was that one thing that kept bothering me. I didnít liked the collectivity in there, most of them were coming from bad environments and nobody was interested on actual studying. I was always a good student with good grades and at that time I got scared that if I graduate here I wonít have too many opportunities. So I tried to transfer myself to the highscool that I wanted to get in the first time (just so I would know that I at least tried twice to get in there) without thinking that they would accept me. But they did. And at that point I wasnít really sure if that is what I should do but I did it because I thought that it would help me since I was taking in consideration going abroad for an university degree (due to the fact that it is also known for its foreign languages classes). This was happening at the beginning of the second year. Now I am in my last year and I sincerly regret it. I realised that I was only good at ballet and I could have had a bright future if I had continued with it. Most of the people from my current highscool will go to study law or psychology but that is just not for me. I always wanted an interesting life and as a ballerina I would have had it. Unfortunately I cannot continue with ballet because in those 3 years i have lost too much. I am thinking about going to study abroad (maybe something related to design or media studies) because my country is pretty poor. But I started to think that maybe it will also be a mistake just like leaving that highschool. I am scared that I will end up with regrets when I will be older. I am living alone since my parents are divorced and my mother works abroad so I donít really have much of guidance, maybe this is why i have taken some not well thought out decisions in my life. I am really confused at this moment and I would appreciate any advice.Thank you if you read all of this.

  2. #2
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    Life is a little like walking through a forest. At different points in your journey, you will need to choose a path. There is no way to know how each path will turn out. All you can do is listen to stories of other people who have chosen a similar path and make a decision. Just because a path was good or bad for others provides no guarantee that it will be good or bad for you.

    There is very little value in having regrets. It can be helpful sometimes to help you avoid similar paths in future... but otherwise, itís all just guesses. There was no guarantee that you would have made it as a ballerina - and even if you did - that career is often not very lucrative for many and people need to re-train. So looking back and saying ďI could have had a lucrative careerĒ is a guess. You are beating yourself up over nothing. A hope and a guess.

    In any case, you can only move forward in life. No one can tell you what path to take. You can only make choices. We will ALL make some good choices and some bad choices. Such is life. We are all kind of stumbling in the dark.

    For what itís worth, I donít think your choice was a bad one. Learning new languages is always valuable and it sounds like you have options.

    Iím sure that was not the answer you were looking for but hopefully it will help you to move forward with more confidence and less regrets. Thatís all you can really do.

  3. #3
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    I know practically nothing about ballet, so take this with a grain of salt.

    Ballet jobs appear to be between far and few between. And the career for most dancers is short and not all that well-paid.

    No path decided in high school locks you into a miserable existence. Only you can do that.

    Instead, consider that if you go to college, the world opens up to you. The possibilities can be exciting.

    Hardly anyone continues with the career choices made as a teenager.

    I recommend a positive attitude and appreciation for the potential you have in life.

    There are so many things that could excite you to the point that the idea of dance will fade as a career fantasy.

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    Originally Posted by jimthzz

    Instead, consider that if you go to college, the world opens up to you. The possibilities can be exciting.
    Hahaha good joke :)

    OP, aside from being a ballerina, what else do you enjoy doing?

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  6. #5
    Gold Member maew's Avatar
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    You are concerned for your future and seeking to make choices that will give you the best opportunities in life. This is a good thing! I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on the fact that you made such a good decision for yourself.

    You seem to be brain-locked on the idea that ballet was the best career option for you... I am going to challenge you on that. I think ballet was the easy way out for you... you chose something you thought you would be good at because you were afraid to take a risk and try something you might have to really work hard to be good at. Cause I am sure you know... being good at something doesn't just happen. Even if you have a skill, you still have to work really hard and put in many hours of practice to be really good at something.

    So now, you are trying something you are having to work hard at... it isn't coming easily to you... this doesn't mean you aren't good at it, it means that it's new to you and you are just learning how to do it.

    Picking a career has nothing to do with just picking something we can easily do. It's about knowing what you love to do, what you are passionate about, what is important to you. It goes beyond activities to the inner parts of our minds, emotions and intuition. And that means we try different things, learn what we do and don't like, and don't hold on to regrets and so called missed opportunities.

    Be honest with yourself... if you had really wanted ballet as a career you would have stayed in that school. None of the other stuff would have mattered. But you wanted more opportunities, so you made a choice to go after them. Don't waste the opportunity you have now on regret... look for how you can get the absolute most out of it and where it can take you in the future, instead of hanging on to the past.

  7. #6
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    I was super good at art, so went to an art college...not because it was my ideal dream, but because I was super good at it, enjoyed it, wanted to make friends in the industry, and got a ton of scholarships to go. Got solo shows before I even graduated with my BFA, I got my MAT even though I wanted to go into business, but because only 20 people get accepted each year, and cuz they were paying half of my tuition for the graduate program, I completed it. And thought for a few years, and enjoyed it.

    And, I'm in business now. And I love it.

    My husband went to school for poly-sci since he was really great at it, and now he's a project manager for a construction company, and happy.

    Ballet was something you could picture, and that's why you think you failed yourself...but it's really perspective that you are lacking...I think you need to stop defining yourself by what a piece of paper tells you who you are. Take the time to figure out what you want to do or be in life, and that is from taking chances, making mistakes, failing tons of times, and learning how to pick yourself back up. Volunteer, intern, at places that interest you.

    Expose yourself to new things. You will find your way, and for many of the most interesting, awesome, successful people I know, they had plenty of twists and turns to get to where they are.

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    Well, dancing could be your hobby, something you do for fun, but you really should go on to study something more practical, such as business administration or accounting. You'll always find work. And if you decide to go into business yourself, like opening up a ballet school, you'll have the background to know how to do it.

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    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    It makes no sense to assign only the best outcomes to roads not taken and then compare your current status to that. It's like saying if I only stayed on my old path I'd be famous and rich by now. Uhm...not likely.

    If you had all that much promise as a dancer, your teacher would have challenged your choice at the time. This doesn't mean you weren't good, it just means your star quality was comparable to everyone else's who believes that one talent is their ticket to a fantasy future. It rarely happens.

    Most people need to rely on their brain power and work ethic instead. So go develop your best self from this point forward.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz

    Instead, consider that if you go to college, the world opens up to you. The possibilities can be exciting.

    Hardly anyone continues with the career choices made as a teenager.

    Originally Posted by dias
    Hahaha good joke :)

    OP, aside from being a ballerina, what else do you enjoy doing?
    I was serious. If college doesn't work out for expanding a person's horizons, then that's on whomever that person is for the lack of expansion.


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