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Thread: I feel like I constantly fail at things I work very hard for

  1. #1

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    I feel like I constantly fail at things I work very hard for

    there was a dream graduate job that I have really wanted for years. I studied day and night for the interview for weeks, and I actually thought I did quite well during the interview. Turned out I may not even be on the waiting list. I know competition is tough, but I am really upset now because this has happened before, and I just feel that I constantly put in a lot of efforts on things I really want but rarely achieve anything. I want to feel better but I don't know how.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Part of success is not giving up at the first failure or hurdle. When you fail, it should be more about reorganizing and rethinking what you could do differently so that you can get what you want. Working really hard is not enough. Sometimes you have to flex, make adjustments, change your strategy, maybe even completely change your approach and do the total opposite of what you thought should work. So it's not just about working really really hard, it's also working smart, being able to change your dynamics, adapt as necessary, and perseverance. Each failure is a lesson to learn from. I know cliche, but it's so so so true. So it really comes down to how bad do you want it? If you want it bad enough, you dust yourself off and figure out what you need to do to get what you want eventually, be that next month, next year, or two years from now even if that means doing something else in the meantime that you don't care for. Just keep your eye on your goal and keep at it.

  3. #3
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    Well, in a lot of interviews I went to, I had the feeling that they were looking for someone who was just like the person who they had before. So if they had a bunch of people equally talented, they would go for a replica of what they had before. Also a lot of bosses seemed to be trying to find a buddy who was just like them, and if you weren't buddy material, you were out too. So it may have had nothing to do with how hard you studied or anything else. The boss was looking for X, you were a Y, and you didn't get the job.

    As for your feeling that you put a lot of effort into things but rarely achieve anything, perhaps you could ask your friends if there's anything "wrong" with you, such as the way you dress, or some quirk you have, or anything else that might put people off. I know that right after I graduated college, I had a terrible suit, long hair, and wore boots rather than dress shoes to my interviews. It just showed I was young, inexperienced, and not ready for the business world. Those are not the qualities you want to put out there for an employer to see.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Most things worth achieving don't come easily. I'd make it a goal to adopt resilience as a life skill. I'd consider each interview as planting seeds and trust that they may not bloom into the first opportunity, but rather the RIGHT one down the road.

    Head high.

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