ArtLover51 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Finally got over my broken heart and started dating an awesome guy. We’ve known each other for several years but timing was always off. Recently we started dating, not exclusively but when we were in the same town, we would plan to get together. We’ve been FB friends for 10 years and have lots of friends in common. In the last month things got physical and it was mind-blowing but I could tell he wasn’t as into me as I was into him and I didn’t want to fall into a FWB status with him. I told him how I felt and he agreed that he wasn’t ready to commit exclusively to me and he didn’t want to EVER hurt me. We mutually agreed we should not pursue this relationship. However, the next morning he told me not to give up on him because he could see a future down the road with me. Question #1...Should is this worth pursuing or just walk away? We parted ways and about 2 days later I get a friend request from another girl that he had been seeing in his hometown. I found this odd because my FB page is totally public and anyone can view me, see my photos, etc. I called him and asked him what I should do. He was shocked that she would do this, since they are not seriously dating and he is not her FB friend. He said to do what I thought best. I told him I was going to delete the request, which I did. This is flat out a little creepy to me! Question #2...Is this a red flag to anyone else? Link to comment
SherrySher Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 If things already got physical and he still doesn't want you as a full time girlfriend, raise your standards and walk away. Find a guy who actually respects you enough that he will want to give you a full time relationship if he is going to take you to bed. As for the girl, who knows, sounds like pointless drama and he is again at the center of it. Don't be an option for this guy, move on. If he thought you were so great, he wouldn't be questioning right now if you're worth it or not or giving you lame excuses like..maybe down the road. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 It would be best to consider it a one time thing and continue the friendship, if you can deal with that. he doesn't want to commit to anything and you don't want fwb, so it's not compatible on that level. In the last month things got physical and it was mind-blowing but I could tell he wasn’t as into me as I was into him and I didn’t want to fall into a FWB status with him. I told him how I felt and he agreed that he wasn’t ready to commit exclusively to me and he didn’t want to EVER hurt me. Link to comment
DanZee Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I have the feeling that the guy's girlfriend wanted to tell you something about their relationship in private and not in public, and that's why you got the friend request. And I would think it has something to do with your friend that she wanted to talk about, like maybe what this guy is up to, which I suspect has to do with him cheating on her. And you're probably not the only girl he's cheated with. Maybe you should communicate with her. It might keep you from not getting hurt by him in the future. You didn't want a FWB relationship, but his response to you about seeing a future with you seems like an attempt at a FWB. Since things got physical, he's hoping the next time you're in town, ya-da, ya-da, ya-da (as they use to say on Seinfeld). I think you should be wary of this guy and maybe avoid him the next time you're in town. He's not being honest with you. Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 he told me not to give up on him because he could see a future down the road with me. Perfect line people use to butter you up as a f-buddy. Don't ever accept less! She friend requested you because she's got dirt! Never hurts to hear what people have to say. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Question #1...Should is this worth pursuing or just walk away? What is there to pursue? He isn't offering anything. Him saying `maybe down the road' is nothing more than considering you an option and putting you on a shelf. Don't agree to go there. You saw him when you were in the same town? Assuming you don't live near each other, I take a chance and say the friend request might be his girlfriend who is on to him. At the very least, another girl he's dating. Yes, it's creepy and potentially messy. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 If you want to know the truth about your friend, talk to the girl. I'd bet good money that she is his gf, as far as she knows, and either he got caught cheating or she suspects that he is cheating on her. She found you somehow and wanted to talk privately by either telling you what's going or finding out what he's been up to with you. Keep in mind that cheaters tend to hide their relationships, who they are dating and their relationship status. So no surprise at all that she isn't on his FB. Other than that, there is nothing here for you to pursue. He doesn't seem to have good character. He told you flat out he isn't interested in you. The whole maybe in the future is such a classic string you along line it's bordering on disgusting. I hope you aren't buying it or let it actually work on you. If you don't want to be a fwb or a side chic, then just don't ever engage with him romantically again in any way. Whether you want to remain friends with him or not, up to you really. Just be sure that you don't get weak and let him bs you into an fwb. Link to comment
ArtLover51 Posted October 31, 2018 Author Share Posted October 31, 2018 Thanks everyone. For the most part I agree with what you are saying. I hate giving up on anyone. I’m just tired of the whole dating scene and guess that part of my life is over. It’s just really sad to think I will be alone the rest of my life. It’s not like I’m 30, 40 or 50! I will throw myself into riding my Harley, SCUBA, travel (alone), painting and just seeing what happens next! It was great to have that intimate connection but I can’t settle for FWB at any age! I really thought he was going to be a keeper. Link to comment
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