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Thread: Please Help Me; Short Relationship Ended

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Metaltwin70
    'You only knew this guy for 5 weeks. Don't put so much energy into this.'

    By end of week 5 of us being together, my husband and I were a part of each other's lives. He'd asked me to be his gf at week 3 or 4. I was madly in love. He was madly in love. He'd introduced me to his entire family abroad. We were a solid item, at 5 weeks together. 14+ years later, we still are - a solid item. So.. no, it's not 'just 5 weeks'. If someone had taken him away from me back then, after 5 weeks of knowing him.. I'd have been devastated beyond belief.
    That's wonderful. But, did he tell you he loved you multiple times within the first week?

  2. #22
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    Thanks all for the responses.

  3. #23
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    Sorry to ask another question. I've been analyzing this (probably too much; I have OCD unfortunately), and I realized that we got increasingly physical over the past few weeks-as in he's seen more and more of my body. What if he just lost his attraction for me and that's why he easily broke up with me?

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by melody147
    Sorry to ask another question. I've been analyzing this (probably too much; I have OCD unfortunately), and I realized that we got increasingly physical over the past few weeks-as in he's seen more and more of my body. What if he just lost his attraction for me and that's why he easily broke up with me?
    That's not it. He wanted sex, OP.

    He knew he wasn't going to get it from you (and good for you to sticking to your guns), so he bounced.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You're right. This is your obsession with your looks. He didn't want to go further because of religious and cultural clashes as well as your values of no sex before marriage, which is fine. He's a player, plain and simple.

    However if you are this self-conscious about your looks get to a salon to update your hairstyle/get advice and get some beauty treatments, make up advice, etc. Also get in shape with a good nutrition and activity/fitness program.

    Join a gym or some sort of fitness classes. Go to a store and get some fashionable flattering clothes. Build your self confidence inside and out. Focus on your upcoming campus life and good luck with UCSD.
    Originally Posted by melody147
    Sorry to ask another question. I've been analyzing this (probably too much; I have OCD unfortunately), and I realized that we got increasingly physical over the past few weeks-as in he's seen more and more of my body. What if he just lost his attraction for me and that's why he easily broke up with me?

  7. #26
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    I keep thinking that I could have compromised and maybe tried to do it in a year, after I've fallen in love with him. My fear would be that he would dump me after getting that though. I don't know how common that is. He honestly in the first four weeks was amazing, kind, compassionate-such a great guy. So it's hard imagining him dumping me if I cater to his sexual needs. And it's not like I'm asexual! I probably would enjoy it, too...and sometimes compromise is important if you really care about the person right? Also my UCSD med school interview went amazing, if any of you were wondering haha~I think I have a really good chance of getting in and eventually becoming a doctor! I had to try really hard to push thoughts of this guy out of my mind (as my mom says, no guy is worth jeopardizing your future career), but I succeeded. Anyway if you guys could reply with your thoughts that'd be great :) I like posting on here because I think my friends are all sick of me talking about him; they want me to "move on" like it's that easy. But it's easy to tell others to move on when you're not in the same situation; every case is different, everyone's feelings are different.

  8. #27
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    OP, everyone is amazing in the first few weeks. You cannot use that as a barometer of things to come.

    If he wanted sex early on, there is no way he'd been willing to wait a year either. Stick to your beliefs and values, and find a guy whose own values line up with yours. This guy wasn't it.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you are looking for sexual experience. However it's up to you if you want that in the context of an exclusive relationship or hooking up with this guy.
    Originally Posted by melody147
    it's hard imagining him dumping me if I cater to his sexual needs. I probably would enjoy it, too...and sometimes compromise is important if you really care about the person.

  10. 11-02-2018, 12:30 PM

  11. #29
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    hes' back on the dating app where we met. so he's moved on. i guess i need to too. sucky feeling.

  12. #30
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Don't let his behaviour add to your insecurities!

    We are human and all have issues with ourselves we hate. I know after a breakup it's easier to blame yourself and the way you look.

    This whole scenario is the complete opposite! He wanted you sexually. Good for you for standing your grounds and not giving in to plesse him. He is not worth it for one second.

    You will find someone who is willing to wait! Trust me there is decent men out there who will fall for you as a person. Not just as a sexual object.

    I have a friend who is Muslim. He has been very sexually active in the past. He has now met this lovely muslim girl who is waiting for marriage. Guess what they have been together almost two years and they are waiting for marriage! So it can happen.

    Best of luck.

    Trust me by time you reach the end of no contact you will realise you don't even want to contact him. You will find someone with your same morals

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