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Thread: I need some advice...

  1. #1

    I need some advice...

    Hi, i have been talking to a boy on Snapchat now for almost 6 months. Iím 17 (turning 18 in March) and he is 23...i do not care about age becuse after all, if you like and respect eachother, thatís all that matters. My situation is that, i really like him and he doesnít know that. Iím not sure if heís interested in me in Ďthat wayí and iím not sure how to find out. I want to tell him but i feel awkward in doing so. We are planning on meeting up when the time is right for the both of us as we are both very busy. We live 20 minutes away from eachother so it wouldnít be an issue to meet up. I would just like some advice as to how i actually tell him how i feel as iím not normally the one to open up about my feelings or am i wasting my time on this person? Because i have genuine strong feelings for him that i believe could go somewhere as he is on my mind 24/7. I do not want to give up on him after talking for this long.
    Thank-You!
    Lauren

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Does your mother and father know you have been talking to this older man? Do they know about your future meet? Please do not meet a stranger from the internet without telling your parents and them knowing who he is and where you'll be going.

    As for telling him your feelings. You don't have to do any of that until you've met and you see if he's even who he says he is. If he is genuine then he will be happy to meet you and your parents at the same time.

  3. #3
    I know he is genuine because i forgot to mention he is 100% who he says he is. He has instagram and we have facetimed numerous times and also he is really close with one of my good friends, so i fully trust and believe it is him. My mum and dad do know and they trust me and they seem fine with it. However, like you said, when i eventually meet him, they donít want me to be by myself. Thankyou for the response!!

  4. #4
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    Youve been talking for 6 months? Its safe to say that he knows you are interested.
    Please take it slow, and start in public... maybe with your mutual friend there. Your age difference is a concern because you are under 18, and he is over 21. He is going to be in a difference place.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LaurenPalmer
    Iím 17 (turning 18 in March) and he is 23...i have genuine strong feelings for him as he is on my mind 24/7.
    To me this sounds like a typical teenager schoolgirl crush/fantasy. All totally normal.

    I have to admit what I find a lot more concerning is your parents being happy about you meeting up with this guy, a guy they have never met and know nothing about. I am surprised/shocked that they don't seem to be aware of the huge danger of what can happen to young girls meeting guys on the internet. Literally every week in the news there are stories about young girls gone missing after meeting strangers on the internet.
    If you were my daughter there is no way in hell I would let you meet this guy - at least not before I have met him myself.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say anything at this time because you have actually never met him in person before. People can uphold an electronic fantasy for a long period of time.
    It's real life interaction that is the test.

    I do agree with the others. You are awfully young and inexperienced. I know that's not what you want to hear.
    But if you feel you need to continue talking to him, take your time.

    Do not express any romantic feelings to someone you have never met before. Be sure you meet in public and bring a friend with you.
    Let someone else know where you are going and share all the contact information about him to someone who knows what you are doing.

    Get to know him in real life and work towards a friendship first. If after a period of time and really getting to know the real him, I'll be surprised of either of you still feel the same way.

  8. #7
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    Oh, boy. There's just too many red flags here. What does a 23-year old man have in common with a 17-year-old girl? Oh, yeah, sex. And why haven't you met a week or two after chatting? He's hiding something. Maybe he's waiting until you're 18. You should go out with someone you know at school or who lives in your neighborhood, not some older dude who is trying to pick up teenage girls on the Internet.

  9. #8
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    Well for one thing, I do think that considering you're 17, that maybe this guy is a bit too old for you. In the state where I live, the law is that if you're under 18, you can only be intimate with someone two years younger or older than you. Otherwise it's illegal. I'm not sure what the law is where you're from regarding underage relationships....I definitely agree that you need to be careful and maybe even go out in a group with your friends and his friends first. I think that you probably need to spend at least a couple or a few weeks with this guy to really know if your feelings for him are real of just an online crush.

  10. #9
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    He knows you are interested so don't worry about letting him know because he knows. I will say that if tell him you want more or want to meet or take it to the next level, you are going to put him in a very dangerous place. You are 17 and depending on the state, him seeing you can lead him in loads of legal problems and I don't think he wants that or you want that. So I would say just cool the jets and wait until you are 18.


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