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Thread: Confused

  1. #1
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    Confused

    I a bisexual woman in a relationship of 7 months with a straight male.

    We have a very loving relationship, although I can't help but think about other women everytime we have sex to reach climax. It's gotten so bad that I don't even know if I'm sexually attracted to him, and completely zone out and think about other women which will make me orgasm instantly.

    Even romantically, I can't help but feel like I want to be with a woman sometimes, as I feel that maybe in some ways women are easier to connect with. It's worth noting that I have never been in a relationship with a woman so don't know what this all means.

    I think I love him.. But all of this makes me question it.. and I have huge guilt about it because I dont want to hurt anyone.. what do I do?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    So, you've never been with a woman and you are attracted to women.

    You go as far as to label yourself bi sexual.

    What would happen down the road if you never had a sexual or romantic experience with a woman. Would you regret it?

    Can you see your current boyfriend as your life long partner?

  3. #3
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    Hmm. Do you have an exclusive relationship with your boyfriend? I would call you bi-curious at this point, and I would say you might want to go out on a few dates with women to see what it's all about. Sometimes fantasy expectations do not equal reality. Thinking about having sex with a woman might be totally different for you than actually having a relationship and having sex with a woman. It might not be as easy to find other gay women as you might think. I just think you should try it. And if that's the way you're wired, then you would be doing your boyfriend a favor to end it now rather than to carry on a relationship with someone you don't enjoy having sex.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Does your boyfriend know that you consider yourself "bi-sexual?" If he does, then would he be open to a FMF threesome? Would you be? If he doesn't know that you consider yourself bi-sexual then maybe that is something you should be discussing with him.

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  6. #5
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    Yeah, he's aware that I consider myself bisexual. I've always had this attraction to girls, the same way I've been attracted to guys, however it's difficult to find girls in my area so I've just naturally fell into relationships with guys.

    Usually it doesn't affect my relationships of course but lately it's very hard to suppress the curiosity.. And I'm afraid in case it is being just that. Curiosity.

    My boyfriend wouldn't be interested in a FMF threesome, I have casually suggested it before, however he is quite shy and isn't comfortable with the idea.

  7. #6
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    Despite your curiousity.

    Are you sure you want this relationship?

    As if this is something you wanted a 100% you really wouldn't want to be with anyone else.

    You've said your curiousity for women has never affected your current relationship but it is doing so for this one.

    Makes me feel like he isn't the right partner for you right now.

    I know when I'm madly in love and happy. I don't can't even imagine being with someone else. But that is just me to be fair and I know everyone is different.

    I do feel your curiousity is something you should explore. As you don't want to regret not experiencing it one day.

    I know you said it's hard to find women in your local area but maybe explore online dating? It might help exploring your sexuality with a women in a romantic way before meeting her. Obviously all this if you happen to be single and not right now.

  8. #7
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    It's not at all unusual to fantasise about someone/something other than your partner when having sex; in fact a recent survey by a sex toy manufacturer of 1,300 people concluded that 46% of women and 42% of men do so.

    This doesn't necessarily have any impact whatsoever on your relationship, but in your particular case it sounds as though your fantasy is part of a general lack of connection; and that's where the problem lies. If you don't feel truly attracted to him, then let him go, regardless of what a nice guy he is - because in the long run it just won't work.

    It's also not unusual for women to be bi-curious and have lesbian fantasies without actually being physically attracted to women in real life. Only you know what your feelings and reactions are, but I agree that it would be good to explore this rather than sticking with someone half-heartedly because they just happen to be available.

    Good luck!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stop stringing him along and start exploring your feelings with women and date them.
    Originally Posted by unforgettable3
    I a bisexual woman. I have never been in a relationship with a woman.


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