I messed up...

So I started talking to this girl (9/10 cutie forsure) and we could both tell there was something there for the other. We eventually went out to see a movie (let me know if you think it was a date) and get a drink (cafe, not bar) and go on a small walk but that’s not important, it’s the movie that was. During the movie we sat relatively close, but not holding hands close, and somethings happened, nothing too serious. Things that happened were small like mayhaps missing the small bag of musk sticks we were sharing and accidentally putting my hand in her pocket for a split second before realising and quickly took it out, her getting scared at some parts where she would look away and therefore (here’s where I think I went wrong) getting a little bit closer to me. I would then come closer to be somewhat comforting but that wasn’t the issue. We finished the movie and walked to car park and my legs were a little sore (, I know) so I sat on a little electrical box (to what I still think was her dismay as I sat down in front of her instead of sucking it up like a man so I’m aware I probably went wron there but that was a small thing and not the prime issue) but i left after my ride came and that was that. I was quite excited after that so I told my friends about it which is where I went wrong. I don’t remember word for word what I said but I do remember it being across the lines of “she was getting closer to me” and that (whilst writing this I think there was also a little game of Chinese whispers going on as someone said that I said “she was trying to hold my hand” so now that I think of it do believe there was a snake in the grass). The person I told must’ve went and told someone else who told her which is wear it went bad. She thought I was trying to say that she was coming on to me, which was wrong, and not that she was just getting scared at some points of the movie. If anything I was the one that was stressing about making a move on her, something I didn’t do. After that I lied in that I said I didn’t tell anyone about our little afternoon. And then that was it, she said she believed me but I didn’t buy it. We stopped talking and there was a little bit of a shaky vibe around us, with her being mad and myself being more embarrassed than mad because I could only be mad at myself for losing the girl that made me happy no matter how hard I tried to persuade myself I was right. Fast forward about half a year and the bad blood was pretty much gone but we still didn’t really talk to eachother but more so to people whilst in eachother general vicinity. We ended up on a camp together and at one point at night around a fire we made random eye contact (I want to say that maybe she still has feelings but I’d probably setting myself up for disappointment) but I brush it off as nothing. So now I get to the part I need help with.

I’m starting to miss her and develop feelings again. I want to start talking to her again (I still have her number provided she hasn’t blocked me, if not Instagram) but

a.) I don’t know how to

b.) I don’t know how she’d respond

c.) I don’t know whether or not to apologise

Thank you for taking the time to read and possibly help. It means a lot, really.

Don't text her. Call her. Tell her you were immature and stupid and learned your lesson. Tell her you'd like another chance because she's an awesome girl and ask if you can treat her to lunch. If she says yes, great. And don't tell a soul your plans with her, and learn boundaries of what is appropriate to tell others of your romantic relationship. If she says no, you can have closure and will have learned a life lesson that will help you stay out of trouble in future relationships.

Never gossip or brag about "how far" you got with a girl. Yes, start making small talk and eventually ask her out for a meal. That's the only way to tell if she's still interested.

We stopped talking and there was a little bit of a shaky vibe around us, with her being mad. Fast forward about half a year. We ended up on a camp together. I want to start talking to her again.

Wow. That's a pretty bad screw up. You should have immediately invited her out to another date to make up for it. Now that things have cooled down, I would suggest the same thing. Call her, apologize, and ask her out on another date. Take her somewhere nice and tell her you're crazy about her and you're really sorry. And if she says yes, you're in, and if she turns you down, then move on.

okay.. so the better thing to learn from thsi is WHAT YOU DID WRONG and learn from that - then trying to figure out how to get her back! Bcause try as hard as you might to get her back, if you didn't figure out what you did wrong again - YOU'LL DO IT AGAIN and lose her a 2nd time and it's over.. ok?

1. never lie, ever! (that may be enough for her to never agree to be with you ever again)

2. never distrust somebody with no evidence --- trust me they will feel that and realize you think badly of them or negatively of them and who goes out with somebody who thinks negatively of them?

3. never make somethign bigger than it is. you had literally ZERO significant contact at the movie theatre (although you seemed to think it was a big deal). This includes telling others she was "gettingnn close to you" when NOTHING significantly happened!

so. the lesson here is. GET OUT OF YOUR OWN HEAD. Stop creating these dramas in your head about what this or that meant or might have happened and JUST RELAX and ENJOY the moment with the person you are with without making everything out to be something. Focus only on SIGNIFICANT occurrences when you're out with somebody and just ENJOY them while they're happenign without thinking ahead a mile....

If you can just STAY in the moment and ENJOy the moment and stop going a million miles an hour in your head - yo'll have better dates, your dates will react to yo much more positively, and MORE significant things WILL happen.

As for this girl, i woudl just tell her, "hey.. i miss you. can we start over?" if she says yes.. start fresh and new and ask her out and do better this time.

Good luck.

Wow. That's a pretty bad screw up. You should have immediately invited her out to another date to make up for it. Now that things have cooled down, I would suggest the same thing. Call her, apologize, and ask her out on another date. Take her somewhere nice and tell her you're crazy about her and you're really sorry. And if she says yes, you're in, and if she turns you down, then move on.

I think I still might do that anyways so I’ll try talk to her today and I’ll give an update on how things go. Thanks guys!

Never gossip or brag about "how far" you got with a girl. Yes, start making small talk and eventually ask her out for a meal. That's the only way to tell if she's still interested.

A strong lesson I learnt this year thank you

Hey so it’s been a couple days so I’ll update on what’s happened

So in person I told her that I would like to speak to her over the phone to which she responded that she doesn’t like the sound of the voice through phone and that should prefer to text so after that I forgot about it for a bit and try to distract myself with chores and study. Eventually at 8 PM I message to asking if she was free to talk. She was asleep at the time and apologised at six in the morning. I only saw this after school so decided to wait a little longer until I thought should be free stand I studied until 6. I told her I ed up to which she told me that I didn’t? I don’t know if she was trying to forget about our issue. She said that all she remembers is that we drifted and stopped talking. I played along with this and said “that’s what I hate and I was so selfish” I also told her that I had been doing a lot of thinking and that I Missed her and the daily conversations we’d have to which she replied “it was nice” (does this show her being uninterested? Or was she missing me as much as I missed her?). So I told her that I was dumb for losing someone like her and I haven’t felt comfortable around someone like her. She thought that was nice and called me sweet for it. But you stopped me there because she is “in a really good place in her life at the moment and her schedule has been jam packed for the past couple of months and will be for quite a while. but it would be great if those convos could continue????” Which I guess was nice to hear. That night everything was like it used to be and we takes for a bit before she went to bed. And since then we have been talking like we used to so I’m going to try make it a daily thing unless I’m always making first contact.

Thanks for everything everybody but I think I’ll take it from here (other than the questions asked in this post). I appreciate your time

Until next time,

Matt :)