Slow process

Due to a trust issue that came to light in September . My girlfriend and I have three years hit a rough patch. She is moving out of her father's place which is an hour and half alway and moving closer to her job which is also closer to me. We have kept in contact with each other. Have good out to eat lunch and dinner. She was sick the one day I ordered her food I got a thank you baby went to dinner the next night had a blast but she was guarded. I understand that. I know she has been over whelmed with the move , new job and everything. The lunch date went well and got a smirk . We text for a while and then gets guarded . She wants to keep the way we are going I guess. I want to try new things with her. We went to an Asian fusion restaurant, my first time and had a blast. She hasn't blocked me on social media and we talk every day. Any suggestions on how to progress . I'm at a loss. I feel crappy on what I did to her but we are trying to get through this which is hard. We genuinely have feelings with each other. I know that but I hurt her but we have been there with boundaries.

What's the "trust issue?"

Yeah, it's kind of important to know why you're having a rough patch.

We are both separated from our spouses and I didn't say anything about mine. She has moved past that issue but has become guarded. We have both talked about it. I explained why I did why I did. She has been asking questions knows I'm in the process of divorce like her.

Mind you this wasn't a short term relationship. She tells me that she is trying to work through this and has been getting better slowly

So you have been dating for years and she just recently found out that you are actually married? Am I understanding this correctly? if so, WOW, why would you keep that from her and why on earth would she trust you?

I was married . She was also. I also found out stuff about her. She has the seen the copy of the divorce paperwork that has been dragging and we have been talking about it and going through the process of working this out.

Arrogance and stupidity.

So she doesn't trust you because you were married, and at the same time, she's resisting legally splitting from her husband because she doesn't want to let go? I think you have real problems. You've got to talk this out and come up with a solution. It would certainly help if you were both divorced. Maybe you both can work through the divorce process at the same time.

I didn't think about that. Dan thank you. She has been overwhelmed with her living situation. Her ex is the one that won't finish the divorce. Mine has been a sh*t marriage an have been embarrassed over it . So she understands that much. We both have been trying to work through this it has been a slow March. Since everything went down we have been trying to see each other more and talk more openly to each over. In the pass she has been there for me and I have been for her .

Are either of you still living with your spouses or routinely in direct contact with and seeing them (except in the case of children/visitation)?

We are both separated from our spouses and I didn't say anything about mine.

I feel crappy on what I did to her but we are trying to get through this which is hard.

I'm lost. What, exactly, have you done 'to her' that you feel lousy about?

Unless it's for child care then no. Catfeeder i failed to mention I was in the process of divorce in the long term relationship with my girlfriend.