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Thread: Bros before ho's?

  1. #1
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    Bros before ho's?

    Iím wondering if I am making a big deal for being hurt that a trip to Vegas my sister and I were planning on taking together, my sister, instead, plans it with her boyfriend?


    Granted that she and I did not book anything, yet, we were just waiting for when she had the time and money. I booked a room for us to go this December, but something came up for her that she wonít be able to go. I cancelled the room. No problem. We then talked about going during spring break. Later, her boyfriend invites her to go on a cruise with him and his family during that time. She said it to me in passing that she may go with them. A little disappointed, I said, ďI understand.Ē Then, a few weeks ago, I saw her googling trip packages to Vegas, but said it was for her and her boyfriend. I was shocked because that was supposed to be our trip. But then she said, it's not serious because she doesnít think her bf will be able to afford it. I didnít say anything. Just disappointed that she didnít search these package deals for us.
    Then I overhear her tell my brother that her bf is looking into booking them a room there and the possible things they will do there together. So, this trip to Vegas for them looks like it will happen. So, instead of them going on the cruise with his family, she convinced him to go on the Vegas trip she and I were planning, instead. She convinced him to go to Vegas so she doesnít have to do the cruise with his family. She didnít want to do the cruise with them because for her, its too soon and too much to spend it with them.
    I told her that I heard she is going to Vegas and she right there invites me to go on their trip with them. I told her no, because A.) I hardly know him. For the year that they have been dating, Iíve seen him a total of 3 times.
    B.) I thought we were supposed to this sisterís trip together. I was really looking forward to it being an ďusĒ trip because we are both very busy, and we donít spend nearly as much time as we used to. Her life has become about her work, and her boyfriend. So, sister time now seems special.
    C.) I wished that she would have talked to me about this before planning the trip with him. That I was upset she didnít take me into consideration.

    Another reason why I didnít want to go with them two is because he is a recovering alcoholic. The trip there is expensive, so I was going to spend a lot of money going there, I want to relax and not having to take care of him. I want to be able to drink and not worry about him. I want to go to our favorite pub there and have a good time. He gets nervous around big crowds, so the 3 times i have hung out with them, 2 of those 3 times, my sister asks me to sit with him, so he will feel more relaxed around our friends and big crowds.

    Again, if I am on vacation, I want to enjoy myself and not babysit a grown man I hardly know.
    Besides, that, spending a year looking into package deals, saving money, and working around both of our busy schedules to find the time to go, it really saddened me that when she did take initiative for this trip, itís for her and her boyfriend. Worse, that she didnít think to talk to me about wanting to do this with her boyfriend, instead.
    And may I add, that she and her bf take a lot of vacations together. They've gone a cruise, Laughlin, amongst a few other trips.

    Am I making a big deal out of this?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I think you are. It sounds like sheís in love, and building a relationship. You kind of have to stand aside and let these things happen.

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    I know sheís in love and I understand that. I have no problems that she is dedicating her time to her bf. Weíve always been very supportive of our relationships that weíve each had in the past.
    Iíve been very happy for her when she went on the other trips with him and even sent her videos of possible Mexico trips she can take with him. For some reason, this one stung. Perhaps because I was really looking forward to going. Perhaps because it was a trip she and I have been planning. Or perhaps it stung because I really wished she had come talk to me, saying something like, ďI know weíve been planning this trip for awhile, but I really want to go with my bf, but the next one will be you and me.Ē Instead, she told me i am too sensitive. Perhaps I am.

    All i know is that it hurt.

  4. #4
    I had to come in here to say yes you do have valid reasons to feel hurt. It was inconsiderate of her to not talk to you before making plans with her boyfriend. You booked a room, so clearly she knew you were serious about this trip. It's not about Quinos stepping aside, but about the sister stepping up and acting mature. Take it from this old hag, falling in love is no excuse for neglecting your loved ones.
    Another concerning thing is your sister sounds selfish convincing her boyfriend not to go on a family trip to take her on a different trip.
    If she doesn't want to go on his family vacation, then she doesn't have to go, but she also shouldn't have convinced him not to go with them. The easy and mature solution would have been to go on her "sister's trip" and her boyfriend goes on his "family trip" and plan a couple's trip afterwards.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Yes she should have told you she and the bf were planning a trip to Vegas where you had planned and expected to go with her. But she didnt. She's in love so she wants to spend time with him.

    I know it's not what you wanted, but do you have a girlfriend who can go to Vegas with you? I know it's not the same, but if you want to go there, it's a way to make it happen.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Quinos
    Iím wondering if I am making a big deal for being hurt that a trip to Vegas my sister and I were planning on taking together, my sister, instead, plans it with her boyfriend?
    You know, I would be disappointed too. But you should take the high road and just say, that's OK, I'll go with a friend. She's busy with her boyfriend and he's taking up all her time. Don't try to compete for her attention. Just tell her we'll go later and let it go.

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    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.


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