Seraphim Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 In the past I have had very bad interpersonal communication skills with my spouse, for decades. Much due to my mental illnesses. I have finally learned to communicate needs in an acceptable manner . I’m no longer expecting people to read my mind . I am no longer retreating into a shell when I need help . Today I calmly expressed some things that I will need this evening in an effort to help cheer me out of this funk that I have been driven into by my ex-boss . My husband smiled and said , “ of course my love. We can do that. Anything to help. I love you.” Thank God for therapy that taught me to communicate in acceptable ways instead of sulking or yelling like I would have done had my emotional need not been met. And thank God for him going to therapy to learn to understand other people’s emotional needs need meeting as well. I am so grateful we have come to a point in our life where we can totally support each other . Link to comment
Jibralta Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 That's a great step. Good work. I’m no longer expecting people to read my mind . I am no longer retreating into a shell when I need help . My mom has the tendency to do the exact same thing. I guess it's because deep down, she's afraid everyone will just refuse to help her. But as you've seen today, your family does love you and they do want to be there for you :) Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 I adore your husband. Good on you for seeking the proper support and tools. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 I adore your husband. Good on you for seeking the proper support and tools. Yes, this. And you remind us all that it's not so easy to communicate properly especially with those we love, ironically enough. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 28, 2018 Author Share Posted October 28, 2018 Thank you ladies. It was a long road as we had both learned such dysfunctional communication in our families of origin but wanted to be better for ourselves and our child. My husband is a love. ❤️ Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 That's so great. I love hearing about marriages like yours. Truly through the thick and thin. Now you get to enjoy the fruits of all the hard work you've both done. I'm honestly so happy hearing about the good things happening for you. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 28, 2018 Author Share Posted October 28, 2018 That's so great. I love hearing about marriages like yours. Truly through the thick and thin. Now you get to enjoy the fruits of all the hard work you've both done. I'm honestly so happy hearing about the good things happening for you. Thank you. That means a lot. I wish the same for you. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 You are terrific, and so is your husband. Great work! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 29, 2018 Author Share Posted October 29, 2018 You are terrific, and so is your husband. Great work! Thank you! It was a long time coming but we did it. ❤️ We both had such messed up forms of communication I thought we would never get here. But we have had separate therapy, combined therapy and couples communication therapy as well. I have had to tone down my dominant personality as well. And he had to step up and be honest and not be passive aggressive and give 11th hour ultimatums out of the blue. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 Enjoy your abundance, Vic. Link to comment
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