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Thread: How to politely tell my ex boss to shut her pie hole

  1. #21
    Platinum Member browneyedgirl36's Avatar
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    I have to admit, I giggled when I read the title of the thread; I often envision telling people to "shut your piehole!" It's quite satisfying to imagine, isn't it?

    I agree with the others -- don't confront her. But...at the same time, don't entertain any of her nonsense. Just completely ignore it. Often, that's the best way to shut certain types of people down, particularly the martyr type, the attention-seeking type, and the petty, complains-about-everything type; it sounds like your boss may be a combination of all three of these.

    Silence speaks volumes. Be cordial. No need to be friendly -- just appropriately cordial for the setting-- and do your work without reacting to her at all. It might make her mad, but that's her problem, and getting mad when you're just minding your own business will only make her look foolish.

    Congratulations on your new business! I have just been reading a few posts about it. It sounds GREAT! I'm impressed with how quickly and efficiently you were able to put it all together, and it sounds as though it's already going really well!

  2. #22
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    She has been at the both of us ,Ēwhy canít one of you work for me on Friday why canít one of you work for me and just work for the other one necessary . ď I cant hire anybody because nobody wants this job. Etc etc...
    "Look, I hear. And, I'm also here helping you to the best of my ability. But if the price of doing business with you is that you want me to solve issues beyond my control, then I'm not up for that. So let's agree to keep that stuff off table, can we?"

    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    And then she starts talking to my best friend about my personal life . Saying how I took my son for an expensive weekend for his 21st birthday . And how if Iím starting my own business to pay off my bills I shouldnít be doing that blah blah blah ...
    "Best friend, you mean the world to me, and I trust that you are capable of handling Whatusurname any way you see fit--including stopping her if she raises my name with a fair warning that you won't listen to gossip about me. I will do the same for you, and let's agree that we won't bring back any tales to one another because we're going to stop them, instead."

    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    She is now crossing the line and making me very angry . So far Iíve been very congenial as I do not want to burn bridges and I still work there in the evenings . But if she makes me much angrier Iím not going to be a very pleasant. No Iím certainly not diplomatic when angry .
    Decide whether you are overstaying your own welcome in order to effect a dramatic break. Lots of people do this subconsciously--they stoke up enough resentment in order to cut a clean cord. The problem is, it's a dismal way to break with people when we can otherwise kindly walk away without creating an enemy in the world--especially one who shares your community and who's path you're likely to cross in the future.

    You're the one with the upper hand in this scenario, so decide how much involvement you want to keep. Then address issues to fix them rather than setting yourself up for an abused martyr role. That's the stuff that only looks holy on vellum, while in real life it's not practical and nobody gets a win.

    Head high, and either fix this or walk away from it. You are smart enough to do either.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member journeynow's Avatar
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    I agree that you are the one with the upper hand at this moment. (She said "I cant hire anybody because nobody wants this job.") You don't need to say a thing. Your successful daycare says it all. Stay professional, don't badmouth her, and don't listen to the gossip. You don't have to defend or explain your personal life, just carry on with the life that is right for you. Maybe, someday, somehow, she'll learn by example.

  4. #24
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Oh , I do have the upper hand believe me. I could report them for things they are doing against their liscence that I am not doing.

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