Getting through this time of year

Long story short my ex and I started dating around September of 2016 and broke up July of 2017. She was my first love and I was a mess for a while after it. I was fine for months now and had barely even thought of her then all of a sudden the other day all the thoughts came back into my head and I can’t get them out. The holidays were by far our best time and we made so many memories in such a short period of time that year and Christmas was her favorite holiday. Do you guys have any tips on pushing through this?

Breathe mindfully :)

Try to recognise each memory that comes up as just an emotional reaction - that's what happens! We love! We feel! Our experiences leave imprints on us - that's because they were meaningful!

It's normal that our most recent love relationship stays on our mind like this - and that memories come back into our mind from time to time. But eventually you'll move on, and although those memories will still be treasured, it will be sort of like a past lifetime.

So the best thing you can do is focus on the present. Focus on your life *now*. Focus on your future and all that you have going for you. Focus on your friends. Focus on new experiences. Grow. Grow. Grow!

Remember, there is a whole new holiday season awaiting you - it is fresh with opportunities for fun and joy for you, with friends, loved ones, new people, or to be enjoyed on your own. Have fun!

Holidays are always tough after breakups. Start your own new traditions and celebrations with friends and family. Make sure you plan things with them. Reclaim it as yours and make it what you want it to be with your people.

The holidays were by far our best time and we made so many memories in such a short period of time that year and Christmas was her favorite holiday.

first love break-ups are the hardest, for sure. i hate to say it but "it gets easier" after that.

there really isn't anythign you can ACTIVELY do to "forget it" b/c in attempting to do so, it triggers memories (b/c you know why you're doing that thing - to forget them - which then reminds you you're trying to forget them lol)...

the only thing you can really do is life your life, try to stay active and busy so that you don't have time to think about it. however, triggers will always happen. "we went to that restaurant once", "we drove down this street before", "we celbrated xmas before" - so that's unavoidable.

it's okay to think back on them without being sad. over time you'll find you may even be able to smile and relive them in a positive way as "good memories" without feeling sad (b/c good memories is what life is about. as we get older, sometimes it's most of or all we have left - good memories).

so this is normal. just live. do your best. and let things happen (happy or sad) and things will move on when they move on. it moves on fastest when you don't try to manipulate it any way (try to accelerate or slow down the process). so just let it happen the way it happens. it'll go soon enough after that.