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Thread: Trans relationship

  1. #1
    Member HEsmith99's Avatar
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    Trans relationship

    My girl and I have been together for 8 months. I am her first trans boyfriend. She has always dated guys never been apart of the lgbt community. To me being apart of this community is a huge deal and every time I bring the community up or even talk about my transition she gets uncomfortable. We’ve talked about it and she stated she struggles to comfort and admit she’s in a trans relationship. I know we haven’t been together long but I honestly believe she’s the one and Idk what to do. It’s starting to bother me.

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    Hmm. Has this anything to do with the 2 messages you read from her phone? Anyways, why is it important for her to stress to people that she's in a trans relationship? Wouldn't you want people to accept you for you? As a person and not as a thing? Don't you want to fit into society rather than be singled out? There's only so much anyone can say about it until it gets boring. Try concentrating on discussing your relationship or anything else.

  3. #3
    Member HEsmith99's Avatar
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    I don’t believe so. I have no clue. I don’t go in public shouting I’m trans but I want her to at least tell people when they asked that she has a bf instead she just says nothing.

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    You need to break up with this girl. If she's telling one ex she misses him and sexting another...Why the hell are u even staying.

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  6. #5
    Member HEsmith99's Avatar
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    Idk honestly

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    You need to break up. The relationship is a secret.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    You need to break up with this girl. If she's telling one ex she misses him and sexting another...Why the hell are u even staying.
    Totally agree! Not only is the relationship a secret, she is cheating.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like she is faking it and doesn't truly understand the dynamics of your situation. Perhaps she is too immature. End it before you get hurt and continue getting support from the LGBTQ community.
    Originally Posted by HEsmith99
    I am her first trans boyfriend. She has always dated guys never been apart of the lgbt community. To me being apart of this community is a huge deal and every time I bring the community up or even talk about my transition she gets uncomfortable.

  10. #9
    Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    ok.. so.. 2 separate concpets going on here. I"ll address them separately:
    1. it is not for YOU to tell her how to manage how she manages what she communicates to other peeople about YOU and your relationship. It is somethign new for her, probably something she never thought she'd have to address - and thus everybody needs to figure it out themselves in that capacity. YOU are COMPLETELY wrong for forcing her to have to announce what you are or who she's with when it comes to PRIVATE details like that. YOU are wrong for that.. which may have lead to #2

    2. you do need to break up with her if this is the "2 unsettling messages on the phone" girl. Its possible that you pushed her away enough that she felt more comfortable talking to ex's and feeling "normal" again, in a situation she's more comfortable in. But yes you need to break up.

    DONT' EVER tell people what to do, how to manage their situations, or how to handle how they deal with their family and friends over you relationship. NEVER. Those are HER family and friends - that SHE must deal with forever whether she's with you or not. YOU have no say in that and shouldnt' push it because it's what YOU want. Understand?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member superfan's Avatar
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    OP, being trans is a HUGE part of your identity and one you are just starting to fully explore via your transition. If your girlfriend is unwilling to aknowledge the nature of the relationship, then I think that will ultimately hold you back in your own personal journey. It's not about running through the streets yelling 'I'm trans' but being proud of who you are and having the person you are with feel the same. If she cannot feel comfortable identifying the relationship then I would walk away.

    I am bi, and my husband knows that he is in a relationship with someone who is part of the LGBT community. Despite being in a 'straight' relationship, I am still a part of that community and my husband by extension is as well. If he tried to erase my identity by saying 'well you picked your side, so now you have to be straight' I wouldn't have stayed.

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