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Thread: Ladies, what went wrong?

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    I don't think it was the age difference. Once we become adults, 7 years is nothing.

    It's impossible to know what turned her off, but based on the response you gave when she politely told you she didn't want to pursue, I would venture to guess she sensed something in your personality (from the get go) that didn't fit quite right with hers.

    I have to ask, during your text conversations, did you engage her, ask "her" questions in an effort to get to know her?

    Or was it all about you? Your life, your this, your that?

    Not accusing you of anything, just asking.


    I know for me and most women, when a man spends the majority of time talking about himself and asks the woman little to no questions about her, it is a huge turn off and will be nexting that guy very quickly.

    Not knowing you (or her) and how your text and phone convos went down, I'm just speculating, it's literally impossible to know for sure.

    And YES! we can know for sure a man isn't right for us based on text and phone convos, absolutely!
    Absolutely. If anything I made sure I ask questions about her passions, her day, work, hobbies, family, you name it. Not make it like an interview, but i kept engaging her and vice versa. Conversations flowed smoothly over the phone, and they were long phone calls. That's what made me shocked I guess.

    And what made it worse is I wanted to talk about her decision over the phone just like 2 mature adults, because texts with these topics is wrong. They can be easily misconstrued. I believe if we spoke about this over the phone, I believe I'd be way more understanding. But text, come on!

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    "I don't feel our personalities match" is not an insult.

    "You lack life experience and it's obvious by your decision" (or whatever the exact words were) sounds like it's intended as a lecture/put down/criticism.

    You said something isn't an insult unless someone decides it is. It seems like you took her opinion as an insult.
    I didn't take her opinion as insult per se. It's more that she came to a conclusion without any elaboration, and to make it worse, via text. That's what caught me off guard, let alone we had good long numerous phone calls previously. If we had a proper phone call and talked about what she's thinking, I'd be more understanding.

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by lmasterz
    Exactly, you meet someone, we haven't even met. You can't make a decision without enough foundation.

    I respect her decision. I did not insult her judgment. But not having grounds or clarifying your decision indicates something about you as an individual. "Limited life experience" is not an insult unless you want it to be.
    No you don't respect her decision, or her. You think there's something wrong with her. You think she lacks life experience because?? because she dumped you. So tell us what her decision tells us about her as an individual?? It tells me she has exercised her prerogative to reject someone. She owes you NOTHING. Not a clarification, or what grounds she used. She merely needs to tell you she's not interested. She doesn't have to meet you. She doesn't have to do anything. She decides how she measures compatibility, not you. If you don't measure up, you thank her for her time and wish her well. Nothing is more attractive than grace and confidence. Confident men shrug it off and move on. If you're not doing well dating, fix yourself, not others. They're not broken for rejecting you.

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by lmasterz
    I didn't take her opinion as insult per se. It's more that she came to a conclusion without any elaboration, and to make it worse, via text. That's what caught me off guard, let alone we had good long numerous phone calls previously. If we had a proper phone call and talked about what she's thinking, I'd be more understanding.
    You got far too attached to the outcome here. You speak about this as though you'd actually been dating her. You need to gain some healthy perspective; you have been talking to her for a grand total of, what, 20 days?

    You let your expectations take over your common sense. You two are essentially strangers to each other. A month ago, you didn't know each other at all. She doesn't owe you a phone call about why she's not interested in continuing to speak to a man she has never met and only talked to for a couple weeks.

    Don't get so ahead of yourself next time, OP. Keep your sense of entitlement in check.

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  6. 11-12-2018, 11:11 AM

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