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Thread: Ladies, what went wrong?

  1. #11
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    ""Limited life experience" is not an insult unless you want it to be."

    It's not up to anyone else to decide what is and is not insulting to someone else.

    The entire statement would have been insulting to me.

    But, sounds like she had already made up her mind. That statement might have simply confirmed the decision in her mind.

    And anyway, she was just someone you'd interacted with online! Not a long term girlfriend or wife.

  2. #12
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    She doesn't like you.

    She spent 2 hours on the phone with you and she decided. She went "dry" (your word) after that call.

    Accept it and move on.

  3. #13
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    In the end you have to learn that dating females is complex. They are a puzzle. Trying to explain them is NOT logical at all (from a "male logic" perspective --- females have a completely different "logic" they run by). So the best lesson we can learn is to not go crazy trying to figure them out lol. Because we NEVER WILL! :) It could be a million reasons that will never make sense to you or i - but it makes sense to them, and in this case TO HER. And that's nothing you can get around.

    You went a bit too far insinuating that she was "wrong" or "didn't think it thru" simply because it didn't seem to you that she did. As a friend of mine told me a LONG time ago, "when a female says 'no' or backs out - it seems sudden to us - but it means she's been debating and thinking about it a WHILE". So the point is - it may have seemed "ill thought out" and 'sudden' and "short sited" to you - but guaranteed she's probably mulled it over and over for a while and probably didnt' tell you the whole story of why it is so obvious to her its over. (Notice how vague she was on the reasons... trust me she has plenty of reasons - fair or unfair - her vagueness means she didn't want to get into the details with you.. she just knew it was over and wanted out and to make a clean break).

    So.. never judge or presume yo know what's going on with soembody else. Never judge or critique them on their actions and reasons. You aren't in their head so you don't know. Point is - it's over. She's told you that. Time to move on.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    ""Limited life experience" is not an insult unless you want it to be."

    It's not up to anyone else to decide what is and is not insulting to someone else.

    The entire statement would have been insulting to me.

    But, sounds like she had already made up her mind. That statement might have simply confirmed the decision in her mind.

    And anyway, she was just someone you'd interacted with online! Not a long term girlfriend or wife.
    It's interesting that we all found this comment insulting but he continues to insist it isn't.

    On top of the insult he defends there this total lack of empathy or understanding on how this comes across,
    in spite of the tone it's delivered with.

    You chatted on the phone and face timed. You both decide if it's a go or a no go. She decided that she's not on board.

    She doesn't owe you any explanation other than `we aren't a match' and you aren't entitled to a further explanation.

    People don't like to be put on the spot so they can list all the reasons why they might not have been attracted to you.
    Don't do this.


    Let it go.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by thisisrichey
    In the end you have to learn that dating females is complex. They are a puzzle. Trying to explain them is NOT logical at all
    Excuse me??????

    How are you an authority on "female complexity"????

    This girl spoke to him on the phone. She spent 2 hours, and then decided she didn't like him.

    It Could. Not. Be. More. Simple.

  7. #16
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    its' simple to a female yes. males and females have "different logic" i think it's obvious.
    male logic is super simple to males (but perplexing to females) and vice versa lol.
    so you're right i shoudlnt' say it's complex... it's "complex to a male". my mistake.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Excuse me??????

    How are you an authority on "female complexity"????

    This girl spoke to him on the phone. She spent 2 hours, and then decided she didn't like him.

    It Could. Not. Be. More. Simple.
    deleted. . . .

  9. #18
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thisisrichey
    its' simple to a female yes. males and females have "different logic" i think it's obvious.
    male logic is super simple to males (but perplexing to females) and vice versa lol.
    so you're right i shoudlnt' say it's complex... it's "complex to a male". my mistake.
    I think it's the "NOT logical at all " part that's the most offensive. Just sayin'

  10. #19
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    I think your self-righteousness and lack of insight and didn't help matters, OP. She probably picked up on that from your phone conversations given that she cited a personality difference. Not attractive qualities in a man, for future reference.

    Despite what you appear to think, she owes you nothing. You aren't and never were entitled to meet her, and this wasn't online dating. She tried a few conversations, and decided she wasn't interested in getting to know you.

    Deciding that her "limited" life experience was the reason, and actually telling her that, demonstrates your own lack of experience with women. Remember this moving forward so you can hopefully become a more skilled communicator.

  11. #20
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    I think that from the first time you know if you like a person for real or just for chill.. she isnt as interested.... she is being sincere

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