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Thread: Girlfriend problems advice needed

  1. #11
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool

    Regarding her family and her parents, just beware that what you see is what you get. If they are over involved now, they'll be that way and even worse later on. Look at the whole package not just your gf.
    This! ^^^^ She sounds very close (maybe too close) to her mother and yes what you see is what you get and will keep getting. It is what it is. I think the age difference is a large part of your problem, you and she are at different stages in life and she needs to finish school, and do all those things you've likely already done. You need to be patient and hang in there or find someone else who's where you are at in life.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately you seem incompatible in terms of life stage, family expectations, maturity and goals and values. You can't change her or her mother or their family dynamics.
    Originally Posted by luvedup
    She still lives with her parents as she is at university and living off a student wage.
    I am 32 n really want to be settling down and she knows this.. I want my partner to come home to me at night n have our own life together.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Am I in the wrong for wanting more from my girlfriend and wanting her to cut the apron strings with her mum a bit.
    No, you're just with the wrong GF. She's not positioned to give you what you want right now. Her priorities are evident, and that's not a reflection on you. Either you can recognize the differences in your cycles of life and support that, or not. If you no longer WANT to do that, then you can keep future potential alive by telling her that you need to walk away while you both still think highly of one another, and if she's ever positioned to invest more in your time together, she can let you know. If you're still available then, you can meet to catch up. Meanwhile, you can wish her the best and move on to pursue the level of maturity in a relationship that you desire.

    Head high. There doesn't need to be a villain in any relationship that doesn't work out.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    No, you're just with the wrong GF. She's not positioned to give you what you want right now. Her priorities are evident, and that's not a reflection on you. Either you can recognize the differences in your cycles of life and support that, or not. If you no longer WANT to do that, then you can keep future potential alive by telling her that you need to walk away while you both still think highly of one another, and if she's ever positioned to invest more in your time together, she can let you know. If you're still available then, you can meet to catch up. Meanwhile, you can wish her the best and move on to pursue the level of maturity in a relationship that you desire.

    Head high. There doesn't need to be a villain in any relationship that doesn't work out.
    Thankyou. That's good advice. I guess it's a matter of working through something if it's worth it..and to me she is. Aside from all this we have a lovely realtionship and love each other a lot. Just wish it wasn't making me miserable. Thanks again

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