LDR trouble

I met this guy in Spain during vacation five months ago. The first night we met we instantly clicked and have been talking ever since. He’s from LA, im from Texas and since then we’ve agreed to see each other at least once a month. So far, I’ve met his brother and his best friend and now his parents know about me and we’ve made New Years plans together. We’ve Planned for me to move to LA after grad school and get a home together even brought up having children in the future. (Is this too early to talk about?) He calls me everyday after work and every time we have a great conversation. To give a little background, I am in my early 20’s, I have a career and in grad school. I’m also very fit and attractive. He’s 33, my friends say he looks pretty aged but I seriously adore every bit of him. Fit, Has his masters and has a career as well. So with me getting my mba and him already having it we both clicked In a sense that we both had one important thing in common, we love education.... we understand each other 100% .. it was until last weekend he left to Columbia for his friend birthday. I left him alone and let him enjoy his vacation with his friends but I did see he was adding a lot of Columbian girls from there through his Instagram. I know that seems kinda crazy for me to see but for some reason with me seeing things let me see things for what they are. I get insecure about it because it’s how we met, we met internationally. When he got back Sunday he texted me he made it home and couldn’t wait to tell me all about his trip. He calls me after work the next day and tells me all about it. Anyway... this morning I surprised him saying I was flying down this weekend and he blew me off saying he’s going to the dodgers game and spending the weekend with his family and to come the week after & that honestly hurt me because I actually tried to make an effort. I told him it’s fine I’ll just cancel my flight and I’m busy all of next month And he hasn’t called or contact me since but he’s been watching my stories on social media. Idk whether if I should be upset or not. But I don’t like feeling this way. As much as I want to throw in the towel, I really appreciate us and our chemistry. I don’t want to be a child and do the ignoring thing anymore... what are your thoughts on this? What would you do.

I would let him be. He is 33 and having a good time not wanting to settle down.

He most likely hooked up with girls while visiting Columbia.

I honestly thought for a second he didn’t want to see me this weekend because he’s getting tested and need those results. But maybe I’m crazy.

I honestly thought for a second he didn’t want to see me this weekend because he’s getting tested and need those results. But maybe I’m crazy.

Well that might be a stretch but no matter what something shifted. You may never know exactly what that was but to make the effort to visit and for him to deny it is not a very good sign.

I'm sorry.

What would I do? Absolutely nothing. I wouldn't contact him, I'd get busy with my life (I know that's easy to say) But there isn't anything you can do. I'd wait to see if he contacts me again and reassess whether I ever wanted to see him again.

For me one of the most important qualities in a romantic partner is consistency. He's failed at this and I wouldn't wait around for the next round. . .that's if he come around again.

To be honest, I would not have sprung an unplanned visit on him. Or at the very least, I would have tried to be more understanding about the fact that he already had plans and is sticking to them. I don't like such surprises either, as I find them imposing and encroaching on my space and time. I realize that wasn't your intention, but the fact is that you haven't been together very long and he would have had to shuffle around his entire weekend to accommodate you on very little notice. If you were a longer-term couple, I could maybe see him inviting you to the family events or joining the game, but it isn't his problem that you didn't bother to check that his weekend was more open.

I have to wonder if you booked this primarily to soothe your anxiety, though. To remind him of your presence, so to speak, after having befriended some women in Colombia. It almost reads that you worked yourself up, booked the trip on a whim, and tried to dress it up as a surprise when really, it was coming from a place of fear and insecurity. Would you say that's accurate? Also, are you really busy all of next month, or was that a knee-jerk reaction to feel rejected? It could have come across to him as pouting, so that might be why he's keeping his distance now.

Having said all of that, I get why you might have raised an eyebrow at the social media activity. He obviously met you while traveling, so it stands to reason he's comfortable chatting up others while on holiday. It doesn't necessarily mean there's more to it. Is he an extroverted guy by nature? The problem with LDR is that it takes much longer to really discover who the person is, and if you can trust them. You haven't yet spent enough time together in person to truly suss

him out. If you don't trust him, it is best to end it. If you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, give him a call and try to arrange for a different weekend to visit, when it's convenient for both of you.

I honestly thought for a second he didn’t want to see me this weekend because he’s getting tested and need those results. But maybe I’m crazy.

Eh? Where did you cook up this theory? OP, if this is what you think he is capable of, you need to end it.

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