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I did a stupid thing, and I'm judging myself for it.


shelby6811

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So I don't go out much, and I have a two drink maximum rule for myself. Three at the most, and that's only if it's a long day of festivals or parades. I went to the Halloween parade this weekend, and after we went into the Quarter to see some music. I had one drink at the club, felt completely sober. I left and was walking home when some people started calling to me from a balcony, it looked like a party, and they were like "Come up! Have a cocktail!" For those of you who haven't been to New Orleans, this a pretty common occurrence in the Quarter, especially around holidays. It looked like fun, so I went up and as I was going in, some of the people were leaving. The host poured me a glass of wine and I realized that since people left I was now the only woman present. But the guys were watching a basketball game on tv and the only person really talking to me was the host. No offense to Italians, but this guy was like a caricature. Kept saying "Feggadabout it" and dropping the f bomb constantly, HEAVY Italian accent, almost seemed like it was fake. He said he was from Chicago, recently moved to New Orleans, bought this beautiful condo in the Quarter. He did have some nice art, although he tended heavily toward the nudes. It was a nice night, and it was pleasant to sit on his balcony and watch the crowds. Then he started talking about sex. A lot. Explicitly. About this time one of the guys inside handed a joint out the window. I said no, thanks, I don't do drugs, never have in my life. He kind of snickered and mumbled something like "If you're drinking that wine, now you have." I didn't process it immediately, but I noticed shortly after that I started to feel really strange. Sort of thick, and warm, and disconnected. As I was sitting there processing the sensation, the host suddenly grabbed my chin and kissed me. SHOVED his nasty tongue down my throat. It was so gross. I yanked away and said "I have to go." He started saying how rude to leave a half glass of wine when it's been poured for you. I really didn't care and got out of there as soon as I could. Fast enough that one of the guys watching tv saw me and said "You ok?". I think maybe the host had slipped something dissolveable into my drink, but it obviously wasn't a roofie, or I'd have passed out. As it was, I felt a little strange for about 24 hours.

 

The whole thing was icky, and yes, I realize I should know better, but it really is something people do here, go to random parties. I learned a lesson, but I feel like at the age of 46, I shouldn't have had to. Thanks for listening.

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Anything from tranquilizers to ketamine. No you may not taste it.

I don't know. I mean, I felt fine, then I didn't. But what could a glass of white wine be spiked with? Wouldn't I have tasted it? I did have my phone, and I did call a friend and stay on the phone with him until I got home.
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There are a couple of different substances that can be used to spike wine, so you can't really trust your eyes to see it in your drink. I love New Orleans and I can understand the situation. I think in this example, you have a guy from Chicago who isn't part of he culture, and he sees an opportunity to take advantage of it. You might want to make a police report about the incident. There's not enough to arrest him on, but I know the beat cops do look for this kind of activity so they might want to keep an eye on this guy. He's going to keep doing this and he's eventually going to rape someone, if he hasn't already. Let someone know. If the desk sergeant isn't interested, contact a detective in charge of sex crimes. And just be careful or go out with a friend in the future.

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Oh wow, how creepy. Do not feel bad at all towards your character. Joining a party gives no one the right to spike your drink and nothing should be expected of you, like that kiss. After that comment, I would have gone to the police or ER. It could have a delayed effect, who knows. I wouldn't chance it after that guy essentially said your drink was spiked. No you won't usually taste or see it, hence the term date rape drug - you don't expect it.

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God this is one of my worst fears... I am so sorry this happened to you OP! And 100% agreed that you shouldn't have had to learn this lesson.

 

There are lots of flavorless odorless substances that can be slipped into a drink... and given that you didn't finish it perhaps that's why you were able to remain somewhat alert... or maybe you have a high tolerance... or maybe whoever put it in your drink didn't put enough in to knock you out completely.

 

So sickening that drugging continues to happen, despite all of the press around it lately... Bill Cosby anyone?

 

There needs to be more we can do about this sort of thing.

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I don't know. I mean, I felt fine, then I didn't. But what could a glass of white wine be spiked with? Wouldn't I have tasted it? I did have my phone, and I did call a friend and stay on the phone with him until I got home.

 

Maybe it was wine made from marijuana? Its the newest thing, apparently.

 

He was a d-bag for not explaining what it was to you in any event. Glad you got out okay.

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big lesson learned... NEVER consume a drink you didn't pour yourself. and never consume a drink that has been out of your site for any appreciable amount of time. that is the golden rule.

sorry this happened to you. so glad you got out okay.

did you ever go to the doctor to get it checked and see what they gave you? I would've.

 

No.. drugs in drink don't necessarily taste or smell like anything... Just a couple drops of visine in yoru drink and you'll be visiting the toilet all night and not suspect a thing.

 

So be careful!

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Alcohol is a drug. One harder than marijuana (this coming from someone who drinks and doesn't smoke). If you drink, you do drugs. That could have been the reference. Could have been trying to scare you or simply and snidely refuting your piety.

 

in any case, I echo the advice regarding adhering to a strict chain of custody with beverages. Or altogether not accepting one in an informal setting from a stranger, particularly when you're on your own. These are rules I follow myself. Nothing you can do to change the past. Don't kick yourself.

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I learned a lesson, but I feel like at the age of 46, I shouldn't have had to. Thanks for listening.

 

We're all learning, all of the time. You got yourself out of a dangerous situation as soon as it occurred to you that it could be dangerous. That's the up side to hold onto without harming yourself further by the experience.

 

We always get to decide whether our experiences will make us stronger and more confident in our ability to navigate, or whether they will weaken us and constrict our scope. Since you already don't go out much, I'd take the first option and push myself to go out MORE, not less. Trust that you will navigate more carefully--but you'll expand your scope rather than constrict. You've got too many years left to allow yourself to become reclusive and make your world even smaller.

 

I'd view this outcome as my signal to be grateful for my intuition that spared me additional harm and to explore new interests and hidden talents that could strike a passion for living in ways that I can only experience rather than think of at the moment. Living in our head is expensive--it drills into fears rather than allowing us to enjoy real experiences. I'd shoot for prompting this experience to BENEFIT me rather than harm me, and I'd make it my goal to surprise myself as I adopt resilience as my most prominent life skill.

 

Head high, we all live and learn.

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