Gf left to fix mental health

My ex-girlfriend of a couple months has struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time now (I knew about this as we were friends for almost a year before getting together even though we both had feelings for eachother).

We spent everyday together for the first month then we both moved from home for uni. We live about an hour drive away from each other and I visited every weekend and one weekend I didn't visit as I had uni stuff I needed to do and she started to be distant with me. I was vocal to her about me not liking her being distant and she said it was to cope with the physical distance. I decided I'd deal with it if it helped her. She then got incredibly drunk and very bad hangover after, I was messaging her and she seemed like she didn't want to talk to me (not the same as the distance she was giving before) I felt like she was about to end it, so I asked her if she wanted to (bad idea) and she said she didn't but I asked her again because I was upset. She then said she couldn't cope with a relationship right now. We spoke a bit about what it might be, I told her I'd visit more because she said that distance was hard on her mental health. She said she wanted to think about it again and spoke to her mother for a couple hours about it and called me back saying that she wanted time to work on her mental health and that she still loves me and might come back when she's better. I told her I would wait for her and she didn't want me to do that to myself, but I told her I was going to.

It's now been a week since I last spoke to her and I think she might be talking to another guy, but I think I'm just over thinking it. What I want to ask is: Is she likely to come back? How long should I wait before I call her again?

Thanks a lot

We live about an hour drive away from each other and I visited every weekend and one weekend I didn't visit as I had uni stuff I needed to do and she started to be distant with me. I was vocal to her about me not liking her being distant and she said it was to cope with the physical distance.

Ok, you are smothering her. If you’re both in college, then each of you are busy with your studies. Seeing each other every weekend is excessive for a college relationship when you’re distance apart. People with anxiety issues NEED space to settle in a new and stressful environment. You hovering over her with excessive phone calls and running to see her every single weekend when she’s got studying is way too much.

She then said she couldn't cope with a relationship right now. We spoke a bit about what it might be, I told her I'd visit more because she said that distance was hard on her mental health. She said she wanted to think about it again and spoke to her mother for a couple hours about it and called me back saying that she wanted time to work on her mental health and that she still loves me and might come back when she's better. I told her I would wait for her and she didn't want me to do that to myself, but I told her I was going to.

She’s made it clear for you to back off. If you love her, you’d respect her wishes. The more you talk to her, the more you stress her out and she is pushed away from you.

It's now been a week since I last spoke to her and I think she might be talking to another guy,

And if she is, it’s none of your business. She BROKE UP WITH YOU. Please move on and leave her alone.

Is she likely to come back? How long should I wait before I call her again?

No one can hold a crystal ball and tell you. But she was crystal clear that she’s done with the relationship and is moving on (probably to adjust to school). And no you should not call her. If she’s call you, great. But she wants to be left alone.

I've realised this was a bad idea as a stranger on the Internet cannot fully understand the context of the situation. You've been very presumptuous as you've been given little to work with. There is no point in replying anymore.

I've realised this was a bad idea as a stranger on the Internet cannot fully understand the context of the situation. You've been very presumptuous as you've been given little to work with. There is no point in replying anymore.

Buddy what advice are you looking for? When someone point blank tells you that she is dealing with mental issues like anxiety and needs space, you give her space. End of story. Hovering or constantly ringing her up will only push her away. I have anxiety and take medication to work through it - and if someone was smothering me as much as you did, I’d feel really suffocated and stressed out. That might be something you don’t want to hear and maybe I’m some nobody on the internet that you can easily dismiss, but it’s the truth. And if you can’t open your eyes and respect her decision, I don’t know what to tell you. You can’t cure mental illness.

I'm sorry throwaway. I've read your post and I don't any indication that you've smothered her or have done anything wrong for that matter.

I have an anxiety disorder as well.

What I do read is text book lines - it's not you, it's me (indirectly) I need to work on me, maybe later but don't wait for me.

For whatever it's worth, 2 months in and shes changed her mind.

Don't call her and carry on.

I'm sorry. I know it must disappointing.

I disagree. Smothering is when you make someone feel they are trapped because your actions come across as overbearing. They have been seeing each other “every single day for a month” before college... where is the alone time or visiting friends separately for a day? And just because the OP took a weekend off to focus on his studies (as he should) should not mean to go off in a panic and question his ex’s relationship with him? She’s got a life and her education to focus on too. And in case you all forgot, the month of October is the most busiest month for college students because of midterms. Since the OP was constantly running over to his ex’s to spend every weekend, how are they not distracted from their studies?

I have been in an LDR with my husband while I was in college in a 2.5 hour distance (3 hrs when I wet for my masters degree). I was lucky to see him two weekends a month because I was ultra busy in college on top of having anxiety and ADHD.

Seriously. Wait for a semester break. Let her contact the OP if she wants to reconnect. And if she doesn’t, then she has completely moved on. But really, the OP should focus on establishing a social circle where he is. From the information mentioned, he hasn’t even been in college long enough to give the social life there a shot.

It's ok. You don't need to agree with me.

I don't think it's a stretch for young people to see each other daily for the first month. I probably did the same at their age.

And once a week there after doesn't make it a crime either.

You were awfully hard on the young man, that's all.

And do you know he doesn't have a social circle or assuming? . .

Perhaps something happened on that weekend apart or perhaps she's met someone else who interested her. Is her first time away at school?

All you can do is heed her wishes and part ways. She might come back around, but I would be cautious if she does. Jumping ship at only 2 months doesn't bode well for a future together.

If you want to re-attract her, give her the time and space she has requested (no initiating contact), and become a better version of yourself.

Then if she does re-think it later, she'll find you looking solid and good.

Chances are you'll end up with someone local anyway.

Is she likely to come back? How long should I wait before I call her again?

I think she's gone. The whole "I need time to think" line is a typical break-up line. You're not overthinking it. It's time to move on and find another girl.

Odd how she needs time away from you to work on her mental heath issues but doesn't want time away from the new guy.

She doesn't want to be in a romantic situation with you anymore. Its not your fault, nothing you did, no blame, just things didn't work out. Its okay and this might be the best thing for you. You might meet the girl of your dreams where you are now.