Not Getting What I Need

So I've been dating this woman for 8 months, and it's been going well. But she doesn't communicate how she feels sexually at all. I found out around 5 months into the relationship that she didn't like when I sent pictures because it didn't turn her on, and just today I found out she didn't like PDA when we've been doing that since the beginning of the year. It's frustrating to me because I feel like our sex life isn't going anywhere, and I value sex more than she does because I see it as something that connects me to her and it doesn't mean anything to her at all. What do I do to keep our sex life active and entertaining but within the confines of keeping her comfortable?

It sounds like you're not sexually compatible to me. There is no way to change that and if you stay with her this is just going to cause more problems. I would break up with her if I were you.

None of this has to do with the actual act of sex. Do you enjoy sex with her?

I get not wanting photos and I get not liking PDA, for the record. What kind of pics? What kind of PDA?

I’m not sure how this woman you’re dating expects your relationship to work if she doesn’t communicate what she does/doesn’t like.

You two have to communicate/open up more if you want to satisfy each other sexually.

However, keep in mind that, even if you two do open up to each other regarding what you both like/don’t like, you just might be sexually incompatible.

I feel like our sex life isn't going anywhere, and I value sex more than she does because I see it as something that connects me to her and it doesn't mean anything to her at all. What do I do to keep our sex life active and entertaining but within the confines of keeping her comfortable?

Speaking only for myself, I wouldn't feel very motivated to sell someone on enjoying sex with me. Especially after only 8 months. There is no one-size-fits-all way to manipulate someone into wanting what they don't want.

I have the same question someone else asked.

She doesnt like D* pics (assuming that's what you meant) ->(neither do I) and isn't crazy about PDA. (A number of people dont)

How is your sex life outside of these two seperate things?

If pics and PDA are important deal breakers for you, I understand. But I'd be careful at globally labeling this as a possible failure.

If those 2 things are indead what you need, you aren't going to get her to like them anytime soon.

So it looks like you have a decision to make

The first step is to communicate with her. Ask her what she does like instead of what she doesn't.

How is your sex life outside of that?

It seems like you guys are not sexually compatible, and that's ok-not everyone is.

Finding out what works together as a couple is very important and I think that you should try that first.

Sounds like sexual incompatibility is at play here. Life is too short to be sexually unfulfilled-- it's a deal breaker for me.

You said that she doesnt express herself sexually and you have no idea of what she feels. I can relate to that. Until my current relationship, no man ever really sat me down and just asked me what MY desires were. Then he asked me to take his hand (literally) and show him those spots and zones ---so that he would know how to pleasure me.

In my past experiences, those guys were all about their own pleasure and i didnt feel valued. So I always had a wall up around me. I maintained emotional distance, which left my former partners unfulfilled, unfortunately.

Maybe you should sit her down one last time and really talk to her about these things. If that doesn't help, I would just leave and find someone more compatible.

sounds like you need to talk to her about what she likes and doesnt like.

How has it been going well if she wont communicate with you?

is this just a sexual relationship?

Your post title is getting what you need... is she getting what she needs?

I know this is specifically in regards to the sex, but sex doesn't have to be the main focus of a relationship. Live life with each other and get to know each other outside of sex life and it may actually help it. Y'all should relax a little bit about the whole situation. Again, I get sex is a huge deal breaker to you, but try and focus on some other things that could bring y'all closer.