Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: Seperated but living together

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    10

    Seperated but living together

    Hi all
    Me and my partner of 20 yrs have seperated im 44 she is 42. We have a morgage together and still live in the same house. My partner she drinks and changes when she does. She wants to move out but has no money to do so. Im not sure why im on here but just wondered if anyone else in the same situation
    Thank you
    Last edited by Capricorn3; 10-20-2018 at 05:41 PM.

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    10
    Sorry i meant living together

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    14,591
    Originally Posted by Darcus30
    Sorry i meant living together
    I fixed it for you.

  4. #4
    Member JavBa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    7
    Originally Posted by Darcus30
    Hi all
    Me and my partner of 20 yrs have seperated im 44 she is 42. We have a morgage together and still live in the same house. My partner she drinks and changes when she does. She wants to move out but has no money to do so. Im not sure why im on here but just wondered if anyone else in the same situation
    Thank you
    Depending on how your finances are tied together or not, you are likely to have to continue footing the bill. Have you sought legal advice?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Age
    62
    Posts
    4,747
    Gender
    Male
    Well, it happens these days. She owns half the house, so she has a right to live there. Are you sharing the living expenses? You can force a sale of the house, but you're still going to have to find someplace to live. Is she civil enough to be just roommates? Is she drinking because she has problems? Doing nothing is the easiest option until something more happens.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,311
    Gender
    Female
    Can you sell the house, split the profit and go your separate ways?
    Can you buy her out of her share?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    10,850
    Four months ago you said you two were still having sex. Have you "separted" since June? What led to the decision to "separate"?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    32,405
    Gender
    Male
    Unfortunately you've been dealing with her alcoholism for a long time. Most alcoholics and their enablers stay together like this with varying degrees of estrangement, contempt, despair, anger just like this. It will just continue to limp along this way as it always has and she will again start fights and claim she wants out, etc. It will go on like this until you do something or she dies in a car wreck, from cirrhosis, etc..
    Originally Posted by Darcus30
    We have a morgage together and still live in the same house. My partner she drinks. She wants to move out but has no money to do so.

  10. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    10
    We were still having sex in june yes. We were trying to act normal i suppose.
    We have a joint morgage and whilst she is here is paying half of everything. Its just a bit awkward we dont hate each other and dont argue but a bit of a stramge atmosphere if that makes sense. She is saving for a deposit to move into a rental property.thank you for all your advice

  11. #10
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    21,676
    Gender
    Female
    Consult with a lawyer to learn your options for your location along with the steps you'd need to take for each option. For instance, in order to expedite her move, you might consider subsidizing her in the same manner you'd get an adult kid to move out: pay the landlord first and last rent plus security, then loan her 'help' money that you reduce each month.

    Your attorney can draw up an agreement for whatever degree of this help money you wish to come out of her half of the proceeds when selling the house.

    If you don't want to sell the house, your chance of recouping any money from her are slim to none.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •