Ex Still Contacts Me After Cheating & Discarding Me

We separated 2 yrs ago because of his cheating. He discarded me cruelly and chose the other woman. I blocked him in my active social media sites and never responded to his early hoovers so that i can heal. Fast forward, he followed me recently in an inactive social media site that i have and liked the pics that meant something to us. Is this guilt? Why cant he just move on with the OW? I never bothered them in any way even if rhe OW likes to flaunt their rel in her social media. Why cant he just return the favor and leave me in peace?

You've got to block him. When a current relationship goes a little sideways, people start thinking about their exes, even if it's only for a booty call. These things are meant to let you know he's still around out there. Just ignore him.

Go through All of your social media apps and messaging apps and review your privacy settings. Remove him and all his people from all contact lists and delete and block him from all social media and all messaging. Do not stalk him or his gf.

he followed me recently in an inactive social media site

We separated 2 yrs ago because of his cheating. He discarded me cruelly and chose the other woman. I blocked him in my active social media sites and never responded to his early hoovers so that i can heal. Fast forward, he followed me recently in an inactive social media site that i have and liked the pics that meant something to us. Is this guilt? Why cant he just move on with the OW? I never bothered them in any way even if rhe OW likes to flaunt their rel in her social media. Why cant he just return the favor and leave me in peace?

You've already answered your own question.

You appear to know the lingo, so you know what this is: it's another hoover.

It's not guilt, it's not desire, it's not him re-thinking all the ways he did you wrong. It's his way of letting you know that he's got you on a string, so that you'll think about him again. And it worked, as here it brought you, posting about him.

Block him on this other SM account and anywhere else you think he might have access.

He probably got into an argument with the woman he dumped you for, so he thought he'd contact trusty old Lyza for some attention and an ego boost. After all, his last interaction was probably you crying or being heartbroken over him so he thinks you still feel that way and you'll leap at the chance to give him whatever he wants.

Prove him wrong. Block him from "liking" your photos or even being able to see them. That way he can't send you skidding sideways when he tosses you lame attention crumbs.

PS: You've been posting about his breadcrumbs for over a year and a half. Why on earth have you not yet blocked him? Are you hoping for reconciliation?

I never bothered them in any way even if rhe OW likes to flaunt their rel in her social media.

If you make it so, then you won't have any reason to wonder about anything and he can't rent space in your brain for free.

Can you file for divorce?

We separated 2 yrs ago because of his cheating.

You want so badly for us to give you hope, I can see it seeping through all of your posts.

He is breadcrumbing you.

Why wont he leave you alone? Because you don't want him to, hon. You're a willing participant in all this drama, a month ago you were snooping on his girlfriends (shes no longer the other woman, you two are married on paper only) social media questioning why she was posting pictures of the two of them.

Hours, days, months after, your mindset would be completely understandable.

Years? Youre clinging to a rotting corpse.

Its time to begin your healing and as long as you let him use you as a crutch and remain married you wont heal.

He's already shown you what he's made of, so why would you expect to credit him with a capacity for loyalty to anyone he's with?

They call it 'pain seeking'...or something along those line. When people actively seek things that they know will cause them further hurt, like stalking an ex's new woman's social media. Or poking an existing bruise to see if it still hurts - the irony is you don't feel the pain from said bruise until you poked it. If you keep any element of your past relationship in the present, even the smallest bit, the pain attached to these elements will remain current and real.

He's shown his weight of salt. He didn't show you any level of respect in the manner he left you so why do you expect any mutual respect now? Liking the odd pic of you on SM is nothing compared to what he did two years ago, so why the surprise at this inappropriate behaviour now?

I agree with everyone. This is not a glimmer of hope, it's a glimmer of a man who has little to no respect for the feelings of others and scatters his crumbs when and as he requires a little extra attention or an ego boost. The ONLY way you can deal with this is to block every avenue of contact on SM. And like Wiseman said, get the divorce finalised and you can be free of this creep forever.

I was never married but was on a situation years ago in which he left me for another woman, they married and as far as I know are still married and with a kid.

Like you I stalked his and hers social media. It was as if it gave me some sort of high knowing what they were up to despite the pain. As if my brain was trying to find ways to keep connected to him. My situation was also different in which he actually didn't ever contacted me.

I only truly healed when I stopped the social media stalking and stopped thinking about their lives. Then I could start focusing on my life.

I suggest you block and delete both from all sources of social media so that you can move on. I also suggest finalising the divorce. What's keeping you from doing so?

OP, why are you even giving this person the gift of your attention?