I want to go to a community college and my parents don't support me

I'm graduating from high school this year and while I am applying to other universities, there is a certain community college I visited and I envision myself going there over any other university. I don't know if it's necessary to say, but I want to get my associate's degree for nursing at Southwestern Michigan College and then transfer to Western Michigan University for my bachelor's. The campus is beautiful, the dorms are insanely nice (private rooms for each roommate, and two bathroom in ONE dorm room!) and the student to teacher ratio is 14:1, which is important to me because I know I'll do better in smaller class sizes.

My parents, however, (mainly my dad) are very unsupportive of this. I just spoke to my dad about it and he said "they make jokes about those people, you know," and "think bigger" and "you don't want to waste your life" and "I know you won't transfer even if you say you will" etc. etc. This lack of support is really getting to me. I get good grades, my SAT scores are fairly high, but I don't think I'm limiting myself by going to a school that I really want to attend, whether it is community college or a university. One thing that really bothers me is that my dad knows nothing of the college whatsoever, doesn't know that the nursing program is actually very highly regarded and has 100% job placement just with an associate's degree.

Additionally, we are very low on the financial scale. I do have good grades, but I know that any big university will not pay for my tuition in full with scholarships. My parents will not be able to help very much at all except for helping me get loans, but all that debt is not something I want on my mind for my life. The scholarships available at Southwestern will pay for my entire tuition for 2 years or I will have to pay around a thousand dollars. It just seems like the best decision for me, and despite not having a good relationship with my parents, I care about what they think. Is there anything I can do to help sway them in my favor? What would you guys suggest I do?

Tell them all the things you said in your post, you gave a very convincing argument as to why you should go to the school of your choice. Are there any grants or scholarships you can apply for now to help you get started? There is nothing wrong with going to a community college and nursing is a very good career choice.

In Ontario we have OSAP which is Ontario Student Assistance Program and you can get tuition money that way that you dont start to pay back until 6 months after graduation. Both of my kids did that. Is there something like that where you live?

Thank you for your advice! There actually is something like that where I live, I already have $1500 in scholarships and I'm applying for another $10000 scholarship that is given by Southwestern Michigan College that my admissions advisor said I have a very high chance of getting. If I were to get that scholarship, my school would be paid for for two years. It just seems like such a better option for me.

Go to community college. I took out a ton of student loans to go to university and it's probably the biggest regret of my life. If I could do it over again I would go to community college and transfer.

You sound really smart, I wish I had been as smart as you at your age.

You are setting yourself up for financial success by taking this path. Dont let your parents discourage you. You're an adult now, you don't need their permission.

Yeah, maybe you need to talk to your guidance counselor because if your parents are low income, you can get various grants. Obviously there's loans, but you can also work at school in the work studies program or get a part-time job to fill in your finances. I'm guessing that you live in Michigan. You get the lower residence rate by staying in the state school system. Going to school is not a vacation, but by working, perhaps even getting a job at a hospital, you can make it through college hopefully without any loans. A hospital may even have a tuition reimbursement program. If you live close to the school, you don't need to live in a dorm. You can commute to school and save $10k a year. There's a way to do this even without your parent's help.

I think your plan sounds really good. You will save a lot of money if you go to a community college for 2 years before transferring. You can look at other options, and do try applying for a 4 year, just to see what kind of financial aid package you would get before you make your final decision.

Where have you applied and where have you been accepted? Where have you applied for scholarships and financial assistance and which places have granted it? What do your school advisers and guidance counselors recommend?

Why not apply directly to the university you want your degree from? Do you plan on getting a BS in nursing? Then apply to the best schools for that.

If you want to be a nursing assistant and are afraid of academics or large competitive universities, then go to a small community college. Talk to your school advisers, this is what they are there for and they can give you the best advice for whatever path suits you and your goals best.

Going here then there etc is more hassle and some credits won't transfer. If all you want is a 2 yr certificate, be honest with your parents.

Western Michigan University for my bachelor's. The campus is beautiful, the dorms are insanely nice (private rooms for each roommate, and two bathroom in ONE dorm room!) and the student to teacher ratio is 14:1, which is important to me because I know I'll do better in smaller class sizes.

I would never have considered community college for myself and your plan sounds like a well thought out and good one for you. One of my nieces now has a 4 year degree and started out at community college. It was right for her at that time. Good for you for thinking it through so carefully!

I'd support you! Both of my sons have gotten basic college requirements through community college, and gone on to other settings for their final degrees, and done well. The tuition was more affordable, and with each semester completed they had better financial aid options and received additional grants and scholarships. Where I grew up, the general attitude toward community colleges, and technical colleges, was like your dad's, I didn't even consider them, but now I wish I had. Personally, I would have benefitted from a 2 year degree, it would have given me a short term focus and goal while I figured out my long-term ones, including my finances. I was so clueless at your age, and you seem to have a good perspective.

My step daughter is currently taking this approach. 2 years at community college and now she is starting up at a more recognized school to achieve her bachelors. It looks like the issue is with him not believing you will transfer after 2 years. That being said, if they aren't paying or helping financially, its not their decision, its yours. Not an easy chat to have, but sounds like it is needed.

You can't please everyone so you have to please yourself. Your parents should've raised you so that you'd become a mature adult capable of reasoning and making your own decisions. Don't live your life according to their approval. They don't have to like your future spouse, they don't have to agree on your career, your choice of schools, where you choose to live or any other major decisions of your life.

My parents were middle income and never saved for my college tuition. I went to a community college for my associate's degree and paid for it myself, and I received my BA years later after I had my children. I never had the major debt of staggering college loans I hear of nowadays and paid off my doable loans within 4 years. My degree has made it possible for me to have a well paying career. Good luck and enjoy your college experience. I know I did.

I want to add, when my kids were entering young adulthood they made choices for themselves that I would not have chosen for them. For whatever reason, I did not necessarily agree. I may have made suggestions, but I understood it was not my place to tell them what to do. In the long run, their choices were good ones, worked out just fine. I could not have foreseen the results, and am proud of what they've become. They are fully capable of choosing their own paths, finding their own solutions, figuring out what works for them. They may have had bumps along their paths, but they managed to navigate, and there is value in that.

It worked for me. I make 6 figures. No one has ever made fun of me for it. Your dad has pretty regressive ideas - times have changed a lot. A ton of people go the community college route -> transfer route. There are some things you may miss out on about the big college experience, but if you are anything like I was, they weren't things I cared to participate in anyway. The academics are mostly the same either way until you are in your major.

At the risk of causing some offense, while bearing in mind many, many of those in their 40s and up are very well cognizant of the exponentially rapid inflation of tuition, I would take your father's opinion with a grain of salt. Without a full-ride or at least a significant chunk being taken off through grants and scholarships, there's almost no reason not to knock out your gen-eds at community college. Now once you've actually gotten into your cores, yeah, you're gonna want the unique resources and networking opportunities a land-grant is going to provide you. Even then, there's nothing stopping you from reaching out to shadow or volunteer within the periphery of your desired industry in the meantime.

It sounds like you've got an incredibly level head on your shoulders. Try to worry less about what he thinks and use your momentum to get a good start.

I know many people who owe in the neighborhood of $70k US from student loans accumulated from going to a 4 year university for their general requirements instead of a community college.

Is your dad willing to kick in the extra $10k to $20k per year so you can attend what he considers a more prestigious university? If not, he needs to let you decide.

I think your plan is excellent, BTW.

Let me start by saying I had NO idea community colleges had dorms, I had to look it up just to make sure I was reading it right. That’s awesome.

I don’t see why you want a bunch of strangers on the internet to help you drive a wedge between you and your parents. Do they not listen to you? You’re about to be an adult, you have the autonomy to decide your life’s directions while at the same time respectfully verbalizing that to the people who are still raising you. Talk to them.

This is about you and your future and what you feel is best for you. It's your life not theirs. If you feel this is the right move for you then you know you got to go for it. It just sounds like they are trying to dissuade you because they don't want you to go far. But I'm sure they will understand because they clearly don't want to lose you. Best of luck.

I would say that you are getting your basic classes out of the way to transfer to the university because its cheaper. just make sure you don't forget about the university (getting wrapped into a job that has advancement and never continuing -- its awesome to work through school but you will make more as a nurse as an RN vs LPN)

The scholarships available at Southwestern will pay for my entire tuition for 2 years or I will have to pay around a thousand dollars.

^^^ So your financial piece of the puzzle is answered. Your tuition will be paid for 2 years.

This is about wanting your father's acceptance, his grace, his emotional support.

Short answer: You will not get it.

Other short answer: Do what it is you want to do. If he makes stupid "community college" jokes, walk away. And you go get 'em.

This is a good reason to choose a certain school. However does it cover books, fees, dorms, a food plan and other expenses? You may need to work and/or get some help from your parents. You nay also need to apply for other types of financial assistance. Why do they prefer something else, if this is more economical?

The scholarships available at Southwestern will pay for my entire tuition for 2 years or I will have to pay around a thousand dollars. It just seems like the best decision for me, and despite not having a good relationship with my parents, I care about what they think.

Is your decision at all related to the guy you were writing about? That may also be a concern for your parents.

I realize Im the odd man out, I just dont think your parents are evil and trying to hold you back, theyre being parents and for reasons you may not even realize, so we certainly dont, want different for you.

I still think communication is your best option.

Is your decision at all related to the guy you were writing about? That may also be a concern for your parents.

 

I realize Im the odd man out, I just dont think your parents are evil and trying to hold you back, theyre being parents and for reasons you may not even realize, so we certainly dont, want different for you.

 

I still think communication is your best option.

No, I'm no longer with that guy, haha. I have an older brother who was accepted to Boston University with an almost full-ride scholarship. I'm not trying to crucify my parents but I think they're holding me to his standard, and I'm not at the level he is.

I say my parents, but really I'm talking about my dad. My mother didn't go to college or get her degree but my dad did, and I think he has a lot of biases about colleges. Even when I was talking about the university I initially wanted to go to, Western Michigan, he was pushing me to apply to Michigan University or Purdue. I also don't think he's happy with me wanting to be a nurse as he always wonders if I will like the job, excel at it, and constantly warns me of how the job has a high burnout rate.

I'm his oldest girl so my mom is always telling me he's just worried about me and my future, but by doing this he's making me feel bad about my choices. We don't have a good relationship at all and I constantly feel like I'm disappointing him. I guess it doesn't matter, necessarily, because I'm going to do what I'm going to do, but I was just looking for some advice on how to go about telling him and maybe getting his approval somehow.

Since you want to be a nurse have you considered being a physician instead?

Since you want to be a nurse have you considered being a physician instead?

Why should she change what she wants to be?

Sorry, but this implies that being a nurse is not "good enough".

Since you want to be a nurse have you considered being a physician instead?

I've dwelled on being a nurse a lot, initially I wanted to be a physical therapist and that interest grew into being a dentist, and after consisering my options and my skills I settled on nursing. I think the courses I have taken in high school, college credit bio and college credit anatomy, set me on the best track to become a nurse, and it's something I've thought about for a while. I haven't considered being a physician but I feel really content, at the moment, with studying for my RN.