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Thread: I want to go to a community college and my parents don't support me

  1. #21
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Is your decision at all related to the guy you were writing about? That may also be a concern for your parents.

    I realize Im the odd man out, I just dont think your parents are evil and trying to hold you back, theyre being parents and for reasons you may not even realize, so we certainly dont, want different for you.

    I still think communication is your best option.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Is your decision at all related to the guy you were writing about? That may also be a concern for your parents.

    I realize Im the odd man out, I just dont think your parents are evil and trying to hold you back, theyre being parents and for reasons you may not even realize, so we certainly dont, want different for you.

    I still think communication is your best option.
    No, I'm no longer with that guy, haha. I have an older brother who was accepted to Boston University with an almost full-ride scholarship. I'm not trying to crucify my parents but I think they're holding me to his standard, and I'm not at the level he is.

    I say my parents, but really I'm talking about my dad. My mother didn't go to college or get her degree but my dad did, and I think he has a lot of biases about colleges. Even when I was talking about the university I initially wanted to go to, Western Michigan, he was pushing me to apply to Michigan University or Purdue. I also don't think he's happy with me wanting to be a nurse as he always wonders if I will like the job, excel at it, and constantly warns me of how the job has a high burnout rate.

    I'm his oldest girl so my mom is always telling me he's just worried about me and my future, but by doing this he's making me feel bad about my choices. We don't have a good relationship at all and I constantly feel like I'm disappointing him. I guess it doesn't matter, necessarily, because I'm going to do what I'm going to do, but I was just looking for some advice on how to go about telling him and maybe getting his approval somehow.

  3. #23
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    Since you want to be a nurse have you considered being a physician instead?

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Since you want to be a nurse have you considered being a physician instead?
    Why should she change what she wants to be?

    Sorry, but this implies that being a nurse is not "good enough".

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Since you want to be a nurse have you considered being a physician instead?
    I've dwelled on being a nurse a lot, initially I wanted to be a physical therapist and that interest grew into being a dentist, and after consisering my options and my skills I settled on nursing. I think the courses I have taken in high school, college credit bio and college credit anatomy, set me on the best track to become a nurse, and it's something I've thought about for a while. I haven't considered being a physician but I feel really content, at the moment, with studying for my RN.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    This is a good reason to choose a certain school. However does it cover books, fees, dorms, a food plan and other expenses? You may need to work and/or get some help from your parents. You nay also need to apply for other types of financial assistance. Why do they prefer something else, if this is more economical?
    I do plan on getting a job if I go to the community college. The school pushes on-campus jobs because they save a lot of money that way, so it's practical and I don't believe I would have a hard time getting one.

    I am sure my parents will help in any way they can but there's no way this help will be able to excede around a few hundred dollars, that's just our situation.

    My dad runs his own book business that makes a better profit in the summer, but it's struggling right now. My mom works for a nonforprofit. I think since my brother was awarded a huge scholarship for his education they just planned on that happening to me too, but it hasn't, so I need to think more practically and apply to a cheaper school that will give me a scholarship and leave my tuition nearly paid for or at least almost there. There will be expenses my tuition doesn't pay for but all I can keep thinking about is how much more a university's costs will be, and it's really pushing me towards this school.
    Last edited by juliarmumford; 10-20-2018 at 04:21 PM.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Why should she change what she wants to be?

    Sorry, but this implies that being a nurse is not "good enough".
    I agree!
    Lots of people want to be nurses vs doctors because it is more interaction with patients, less or no liability insurance, etc.
    There are a lot of growth opportunities in the field to also later become a nurse practitioner, nurse anesthetist, etc. or teach nursing
    I have a doctor and a few nurses in my family and the ones who are nurses were definitely not "not good enough to be doctors"
    I would say stopping at just an LPN would be limited oneself - being an RN is the standard now and unless you want to do home health aide
    or clean bedpans while the RN handles more of the care -- you do what you can to be an RN - and you can work while going to school as an LPN

  9. #28
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    I also wanted to thank all the additional replies, it's very reassuring to read and I appreciate hearing everyone's stories. Though I have talked to my counselors, part of me was so disappointed at my dad's reaction to my plan that I second-guessed myself and thought maybe a community college wouldn't be good enough after all. I wanted to hear other opinions about my plan, and your responses really do mean so much! I'm going to try and sit down and talk to my dad again. Ultimately, when we just can't afford a larger university even though I know I'll get accepted to it, I think they'll realize I'm making the best choice for me.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    I agree!
    Lots of people want to be nurses vs doctors because it is more interaction with patients, less or no liability insurance, etc.
    There are a lot of growth opportunities in the field to also later become a nurse practitioner, nurse anesthetist, etc. or teach nursing
    I have a doctor and a few nurses in my family and the ones who are nurses were definitely not "not good enough to be doctors"
    I would say stopping at just an LPN would be limited oneself - being an RN is the standard now and unless you want to do home health aide
    or clean bedpans while the RN handles more of the care -- you do what you can to be an RN - and you can work while going to school as an LPN
    I definitely plan on continuing to get my RN. The admissions advisor talked to me and said that after completing their associates, there have been nursing students at that school that transferred and actually had their last two years paid for by a hospital that wanted to employ them after earning their bachelor's.

    I think part of my dad's apprehension is that he fears I'll stop at my associate's. I understand this, but that's just not the type of person I am. I want to earn my RN, I want to be a nurse, and I'm going to do it.

    Before I considered this community college I was considering another university, Western Michigan. I learned about the community college through a random college trip and actually, the partner schools that will accept transfer students from the community college is Western Michigan, the school I was initially considering. This would mean I would still get to attend Western, a school I've wanted to go to for a while, just for less time and therefore saving much more money. I just think everything came together at that college trip and my plan just clicked.

  11. #30
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    I think it is great that you spoke with an admissions counselor. If you have not spoken with one at Western or U of M, then make sure you do so - to make sure the coursework you do will count toward the bigger picture.

    I know that at the very least, Washtenaw CC has a great relationship with U of Michigan - because one of my family members started out there and finished at UM. Both places were consulted first, the course was plotted out, and goals were achieved. I am sure that Western has a similar relationship.

    When your dad expresses his fears, show him your plan on paper and your ultimate goals to reassure him.

    It used to be that community college carried a stigma for those concerned with "status". Those times are changing now.

    I think it is great that you are working on making wise financial decisions and thinking ahead. Ultimately you will be the one to pay off your loans. Families are realizing how staggering those loans have come to be and are making wiser choices - that may include prep work at a community college.

    Times are changing, but your dad may be coming from an old perspective.

    Just reassure him. Tell him you know he loves you and he wants the best for you, but you are at the age where you need to start to make your own decisions. And sometimes life might get a bit messy, but you will learn and grow. Thank him for his wisdom and for all he and your mom have done for you.

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