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Thread: I want to go to a community college and my parents don't support me

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    You can't please everyone so you have to please yourself. Your parents should've raised you so that you'd become a mature adult capable of reasoning and making your own decisions. Don't live your life according to their approval. They don't have to like your future spouse, they don't have to agree on your career, your choice of schools, where you choose to live or any other major decisions of your life.

    My parents were middle income and never saved for my college tuition. I went to a community college for my associate's degree and paid for it myself, and I received my BA years later after I had my children. I never had the major debt of staggering college loans I hear of nowadays and paid off my doable loans within 4 years. My degree has made it possible for me to have a well paying career. Good luck and enjoy your college experience. I know I did.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member journeynow's Avatar
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    I want to add, when my kids were entering young adulthood they made choices for themselves that I would not have chosen for them. For whatever reason, I did not necessarily agree. I may have made suggestions, but I understood it was not my place to tell them what to do. In the long run, their choices were good ones, worked out just fine. I could not have foreseen the results, and am proud of what they've become. They are fully capable of choosing their own paths, finding their own solutions, figuring out what works for them. They may have had bumps along their paths, but they managed to navigate, and there is value in that.

  3. #13
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    It worked for me. I make 6 figures. No one has ever made fun of me for it. Your dad has pretty regressive ideas - times have changed a lot. A ton of people go the community college route -> transfer route. There are some things you may miss out on about the big college experience, but if you are anything like I was, they weren't things I cared to participate in anyway. The academics are mostly the same either way until you are in your major.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    At the risk of causing some offense, while bearing in mind many, many of those in their 40s and up are very well cognizant of the exponentially rapid inflation of tuition, I would take your father's opinion with a grain of salt. Without a full-ride or at least a significant chunk being taken off through grants and scholarships, there's almost no reason not to knock out your gen-eds at community college. Now once you've actually gotten into your cores, yeah, you're gonna want the unique resources and networking opportunities a land-grant is going to provide you. Even then, there's nothing stopping you from reaching out to shadow or volunteer within the periphery of your desired industry in the meantime.

    It sounds like you've got an incredibly level head on your shoulders. Try to worry less about what he thinks and use your momentum to get a good start.

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  6. #15
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    I know many people who owe in the neighborhood of $70k US from student loans accumulated from going to a 4 year university for their general requirements instead of a community college.

    Is your dad willing to kick in the extra $10k to $20k per year so you can attend what he considers a more prestigious university? If not, he needs to let you decide.

    I think your plan is excellent, BTW.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Let me start by saying I had NO idea community colleges had dorms, I had to look it up just to make sure I was reading it right. Thatís awesome.

    I donít see why you want a bunch of strangers on the internet to help you drive a wedge between you and your parents. Do they not listen to you? Youíre about to be an adult, you have the autonomy to decide your lifeís directions while at the same time respectfully verbalizing that to the people who are still raising you. Talk to them.

  8. #17
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    This is about you and your future and what you feel is best for you. It's your life not theirs. If you feel this is the right move for you then you know you got to go for it. It just sounds like they are trying to dissuade you because they don't want you to go far. But I'm sure they will understand because they clearly don't want to lose you. Best of luck.

  9. #18
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    I would say that you are getting your basic classes out of the way to transfer to the university because its cheaper. just make sure you don't forget about the university (getting wrapped into a job that has advancement and never continuing -- its awesome to work through school but you will make more as a nurse as an RN vs LPN)

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by juliarmumford
    The scholarships available at Southwestern will pay for my entire tuition for 2 years or I will have to pay around a thousand dollars.
    ^^^ So your financial piece of the puzzle is answered. Your tuition will be paid for 2 years.

    This is about wanting your father's acceptance, his grace, his emotional support.

    Short answer: You will not get it.

    Other short answer: Do what it is you want to do. If he makes stupid "community college" jokes, walk away. And you go get 'em.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This is a good reason to choose a certain school. However does it cover books, fees, dorms, a food plan and other expenses? You may need to work and/or get some help from your parents. You nay also need to apply for other types of financial assistance. Why do they prefer something else, if this is more economical?
    Originally Posted by juliarmumford
    The scholarships available at Southwestern will pay for my entire tuition for 2 years or I will have to pay around a thousand dollars. It just seems like the best decision for me, and despite not having a good relationship with my parents, I care about what they think.

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