Happy, but..

So, I just got out a pretty bad relationship. She was dealing with some major things in her life, she was a very depressed person, on top of having many medical issues, she didn’t work, and wasn’t planning to. She just seemed to always bring me down and became a very needy person. I honestly cannot sit here and think of anything good about the position I was in. I have a lot of good things in my life and more coming, and I felt like she was just dragging me down. She broke up with me this morning I can say I feel like a free man. Here is my issue, in the past she has frightened by her actions. I don’t think she would ever try to hurt me, but I wouldn’t put it past her to say bad things about me, that could put my career in danger. I feel bad, I honestly do, but on top of all this, she could be really nasty, and made me feel horrible at times.

How do I prevent this? And, how can I stay clear of all her actions, or potential actions. She’s not crazy as in (I need a restraining order) I know she would never do anything beyond that, I am just trying to prevent drama.

You don't think she'd do the things you are asking about but want to know how to avoid them? Doesn't sound like you're too threatened.

All you can do is delete, block and stay away.

Well, she dumped you. So since you are pleased with that, you simply quietly walk away. Don't contact her, don't stir up any drama trying to preemptively defend yourself because that could get back to her and would definitely stir her into negative action.

Honestly, your fears are unfounded. Sane people know when someone is trying to be vindictive. These kinds of things tend to clear themselves quite easily. A case of the less you do and the more you stick to just being professional and taking the high road, the less trouble for you and the more it would backfire on her if she were to try anything. That's assuming that she would even try anything at all. Since she dumped you it's doubtful that she will.

She pulled the plug so that's a huge start. Congrats on your freedom. One thing you can do is block and delete her and all her people from all your messaging platforms, social media and devices. You can't "prevent" her craziness, except if she does do something that warrants a restraining order. Steer clear of her and any places she may be.

She broke up with me this morning I can say I feel like a free man. Here is my issue, in the past she has frightened by her actions. how can I stay clear of all her actions, or potential actions.

Well, I remember diagnosing it as an abusive relationship and good for you for getting away from it. Please do stay away from this woman. And hopefully your situation at the firehouse is better.

Exactly what are you afraid she's going to do? Call the firehouse and accuse you of something? We've just been through the Kavanaugh hearings here in the United States and we did see that a woman's accusations have seriously and permanently damaged a Supreme Court judge's reputation. You could warn your boss that you just broke up with a crazy woman. I think most people will see it as simply a vindictive action from a former girlfriend. But whatever you do, don't contact her or answer any of her calls. And do not go back to her. You don't need her kind of drama.

Definitely un-friend, block, etc. etc. wherever she can connect or keep track of or try to interfere with you.

Do not keep in touch with her in any way or respond in any way to her - or if you do do not engage with her and just sorta brush her off (this sends the message she has no more influence or control over you and she'll eventually leave).

Do not worry about what people think of you, your image, or what others "might do" - you can only control what you do and if you're doing well and taking care of things... you'll be fine. If it comes to the word of an achieving person doing well vs one who isn't and causes drrama all day - you will win that battle each time as long as you don't engage with her and play along with her games.

These people typically threat to try and get you back, see if they still have influence. When they see they don't, they get bored and find somebody else they can influence and move quickly to them. You'll be fine.

Why did you stay with an unemployed, depressed and lazy mess of a person? What does that say about you.

If she's such a mess, why wouldn't that be obvious to anyone else she speaks with? Why would you credit her with holding enough power to influence people on your job?