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Thread: How to speak with my parents about him ?

  1. #1
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    How to speak with my parents about him ?

    I am 18 and I am talking to a guy for few months but he is from another city and another important thing is that he is older, he is 25. I still live with my parents, because I am on my last year of highschool and last weekend they left me home alone. I invited him to know eachother. I am a bit an outsider and I don't really go out so often so it was strange to told my parents with what person I was going out all the day, because I was afraid that they won't let me actually meet him so I have decided to lie. And so he came in my city with a train for few hours and I gotta say that was one of the best days I have ever had, because of how he made me feel, I showed him the city but also had some time for ourselves and enjoyed eachother and now we are kinda in a distance relationship and he wants to visit me one time on every month. The problem is that I have to speak to my parents, because I can't hide anymore and I am afraid. He is a good guy, with a job, living in the best city but what if my parents will say a big NO because of his age or the fact that they think that he will use me ? What arguments should I have to explain why I have lied and how can I make them to accept him ? I really want them to be ok with it because I want to meet with him again next month. I am planning to tell them soon or till the next month, because he encourage me on doing it too. Any advice ?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    It shows great immaturity to lie to your parents and meet up with a stranger without anyone knowing your whereabouts.

    Forget age - I would reject this relationship because YOU are clearly too immature to handle it.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    It was a great day.

    Not the foundation for a fantasy in real life LTR. Dial back your enthusiasm and focus on your path. No matter who you meet you still need to handle your business : education, dreams, impacts. How will the world be different because of your contributions?

    THAT is your #1 priority. This guy -- he is a diversion. Understandable. 18 is HARD. Even so - you gotta cross this bridge on your own.

    And... your parents? What do they have to do with it? You've met once.

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    What country do you live in? That would help to give you an answer. In general, I can just say that if I were your parent, I wouldn't like the idea of you going out with a 25 year-old guy. Older guys are looking for more in a relationship than 18-year olds. Also meeting people on the Internet is a little scary and there are a lot of guys who are predators looking for young, naive girls like you, or they are hiding emotional or mental problems. This is also a mostly Internet relationship and not a real relationship. He's more of a pen pal than a boyfriend. I think maybe you should look around school and see if there's a boy you like, that you know, to go out on dates with. You can learn what a date is this way and not start with a 25-year-old guy.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    As a mother myself I'm going to ground you from using the computer for three weeks.

    You should never meet up with a stranger from the internet without your parents or at least a good friend knowing where you're going and with whom. For all you know, he's a rapist or a dealer in human traffic and is going to take you away for a life of prostitution.

    Do I sound over the top, well to you, probably but that sort of thing happens every single day. The fact that he's that much older then you makes it even worse and even more suspect.

    Tell your parents and have him come to your home and meet them if they will agree. If they won't then don't see him again. You have no idea that he is a "good guy" at all.

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    And... your parents? What do they have to do with it? You've met once.[/QUOTE]

    Just to tell them about the next time I will see him, nothing more. Also, he has nothing to do with the path I am on because I will barely see him in the next months so it doesn't bother all the other important things in my life. Also, he lives in the city I want to go for college.

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    It is totally legal, 18 means major here, it is of age. I know the risk but I have discussed with him, and I know he is alright, he is a simple guy.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Chloe157
    It is totally legal, 18 means major here, it is of age. I know the risk but I have discussed with him, and I know he is alright, he is a simple guy.
    You don't know him. NEVER meet a stranger from the internet with blind trust. Talk to your parents and do any other meetings with their blessing and their knowledge that way you won't be falling for him and then have to sneak around like a criminal to see him. If he's as good as you say he is then why would your parents curtail you from seeing him?

  10. #9
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    I knew the risks, and trust me, he is alright. And thanks for being the only one who said at least to try to tell them, I am gonna think about it. Also, if something was suspect I wouldn't even talked to him, and now that I met him and I saw that he is ok and serious, I am pretty convinced that he is not a bad person, that is why I don't give much details about how is him.

  11. #10
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    I am just paranoid, and asking for some tips on how to explain to them.

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