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Thread: Bf caught in lie but always cries for forgiveness

  1. #1
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    Bf caught in lie but always cries for forgiveness

    So my bf and I have been dating for 1yr 6months. June last year(nov. 2017) he went to visit a friend (let's call her ally) at college, stayed 3 nights and just chilled. He then tells that allys friend is chillin there just for a lil bit. Didn't think much abt it and moved on. Now (jun/Oct. 2018) he was talking abt having a threesome, he's talked abt it in the past but I'd always say no, but this time I felt the need to test him and I said yea and to show me a girl. 3 seconds later he sends me a screenshot of a girl(BTW I DIDN'T KNOW THIS GIRL WAS FRIENDS W ALLY UNTIL I SAW HER IG, AND I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THIS GIRL WAS THE ONE IN THE DORM). Asked him a few questions which he answered: I don't talk to her, I met her when I went to visit ally, she just walked right passed me and decided to follow her. He clearly stated that they did not have any sort of communication ally and the friend just said hi to each other in the hallway and kept going and he just had to be there, nothing else. I asked why her and he said, "I've always wanted to be with a black girl and she's pretty" then I said how will he ask her and he said "I'll just text her and ask her for a 3some" mind u he said they don't talk. If I random guy I barely met comes at me with that question he'd get blocked. I then told him I was not w it. THIS SAME FRIEND 2 DAYS LATER pops up thru his dm telling him to text her back (no answer) the day after she texted him again the same thing. I texted her as my bf (w my bf next to me) she was saying she sent him a funny tweet and when shed see him again, I texted her back saying how ally transferred so there's no reason for me going to that university and she seemed confused and was asking me what was I talking abt. She ended up blocking my bf and every thing. There was nothing else but those dms so I let it go. Went thru his snap and saw a chat with ally and she sent him this girls snap (jun) he didn't had her on snap so I added her and he basically said hi to her and how he's "been thinking abt her cute a$$ for a while now" and to text cause he wanna talk to her. Would you guys break up? Is this cheating? Do u think he's cheating? I haven't said anything abt this to him.

  2. #2
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    Break up. He clearly lies and most likely cheated.
    You're going through his phone so there's no trust either. U deserve much more than this.

  3. #3
    Gold Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I'm a bit confused here. Are you saying you've been going through his phone, pretending to be him while texting her?

    This all sounds kind of messy and dramatic, shady on all sides, less like a relationship than a game, you know?

  4. #4
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    Yes, I would break up with him.

    He's obviously lying to you about a lot of things, which is dumpworthy in and of itself. Has he cheated? Eh, wouldn't surprise me. But I wouldn't stick around and wait for that to happen.

    He's too immature and uncommitted for the type of relationship you want, OP.

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  6. #5
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    Lose this guy. he is a cheater and a liar.

  7. #6
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    Break up. You can't trust him. Find someone who wants you.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you want to be exclusive? If so, he's not your guy and he's not interested in that. It's up to you to break up and move on if what he wants and is doing sexually is not what you want. You don't need any specific definition of cheating. You need to decide if you're compatible with his desire for a bunch of women.
    Originally Posted by navmon
    he was talking abt having a threesome

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    We are exclusive, he says it just bc he wants to try it but he's told me he's more than okay with me. But I totally understand what you're saying, maybe I should ask him if he only wants to experience it or if it's more of a lifestyle. I don't know if that is the best way to put it hehe

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Oh man...I would definitely break up. He doesn't have his sights set only on you, does he?

    If he's eyeing up other girls like this, he clearly isn't happy with just you and it's only a matter of time before he cheats full on.

    Plus it can't feel good to know that your 'boyfriend' is checking out other girls and flirting with them.

    I would tell him it's over. Find yourself a good man who is loyal only to you and wants no one else.

    He's not the one and he will eventually cause you serious heartbreak if you stay with him.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I'm a bit confused here. Are you saying you've been going through his phone, pretending to be him while texting her?

    This all sounds kind of messy and dramatic, shady on all sides, less like a relationship than a game, you know?
    Yes I was pretending to be him. He basically gave me his phone to "see he has nothing to hide" I'm not really that type of person that HAS to have your phone to check it

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