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Thread: Middle Aged Lesbian Discouraged and Lonely- Need Advice

  1. #1
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    Middle Aged Lesbian Discouraged and Lonely- Need Advice

    I'm a 45 year old lesbian who came out just a few years ago.

    I want to meet people who can relate to what I'm going through (divorced, failed relationships, feeling lonely, wanting to meet people but not really sure where to go).

    I've tried Meet Ups, some are OK.

    Is there anyone on this site who ever feels lonely, drained and tired of failed relationships, hesitant to get into the same cycle? Want more but don't know where to look?

    Can anyone give some advice/insight?

  2. #2
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    It's tough meeting anyone. Have you tried online message boards like lgbtchat.net, gaygirlnet.com, .emptyclosets.com, etc.? Or a dating website like zoosk.com? Or book a gay-lesbian cruise? You have to dig a bit, but they're around.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by girltalkCA
    Is there anyone on this site who ever feels lonely, drained and tired of failed relationships, hesitant to get into the same cycle? Want more but don't know where to look?
    Sure, we all feel lonely at some point, but is this the statement you're dragging around with you? If so, no matter where you go or what you do, it will feel like a drag, and you'll BE a drag.

    Consider reframing your goal. This isn't to invalidate how you feel, but rather to separate that away from the lens you use to look forward and pursue what you want.

    I've addressed your self-talk with you before. It's a form of conditioning. If you're in a continual habit of telling yourself that you're 'drained' and 'failed' and 'lonely,' that's exactly the stuff you'll continue to reinforce, and so you're working against yourself in trying to lift yourself OUT of that feeling.

    When you say 'know where to look,' can you identify what you're looking FOR? Start there. If you had a buddy with whom you could DO anything you want, what interests would you pursue? Make a list, and then research avenues for pursuit of those interests for yourself.

    If you're looking for commiseration, contact local hospitals or a therapist to learn about support groups in your area, most likely for divorced people or lesbians and gays. Be careful of groups who take themselves too seriously and marinate in misery rather than those who apply lots of humor and kinship to lift themselves OUT of misery.

    Head high.


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