Dont know what to do. Help please!

Hi so to make this a short story I'm currently in a relationship however I never did fully heal from the other one so it's effecting me and my current relationship to the point where I don't really want to be in one right now however she is now pregnant so I feel kind of obligated to do so. Not only that it gets worse she also works with me as well and she lives with me but her name is not on the lease. A part of me wants to break up and just take responsibility and pay child support the other part of me just wants to gut it out despite my own unhappiness.

What are the problems in your relationship?

The problem is I never got a chance to heal from my last relationship.

Do you mean you're carrying around useless baggage from what happened in the last relationship? Or do you mean you still love your ex?

Have a lot of guilt ( useless baggage). I don't know why it's so hard for me to get over it.

So do you or don’t you like this new woman? She’s pregnant and lives with you, so you must have some feelings to let it go that far, right? How long have you been with her?

Forget about the last relationship. You have a baby to worry about now. You need to get over the last relationship— unless you want to get back together with her?

I understand where you are coming from. My last relationship was for 5 years. My current one I've been with like six months

If you can't get over it by reading self-help books and putting the skills suggested into action, I strongly suggest therapy. The problem apparently lies within you, since you don't mention any problems in your present relationship. The optimum for your child is to live in a happy, two-parent home, so he/she should be your priority right now, because your child didn't ask to be brought into a dysfunctional situation. You need to do the best for him/her, and that means fixing yourself and becoming the great partner your girlfriend deserves, and that will ensure a happy home for your child.

Thank you for your support I hope I didn't come off as a bad guy I really not just have some mental health concerns (depression)

How long have you been together and how long ago was your last breakup? You moved in together got pregnant and all of a sudden you're "not healed"?

To be honest it sounds more like this has nothing to do with your past and more to do with a sudden and unwanted family life that you didn't want or plan for. It sounds like you rebounded so hard, you bit off more than you can chew.

You can breakup now that she moved in and is pregnant, but as you say, you're on the hook for child support either way. Even though she's not on the lease, if she pays for anything, gets mail there or has been there longer than a month, you will have to go through formal eviction procedures. All you can do is ask her to move back where she came from.

she is now pregnant so I feel kind of obligated to do so. Not only that it gets worse she also works with me as well and she lives with me but her name is not on the lease. A part of me wants to break up and just take responsibility and pay child support

This can be worked out. For some reason you are holding on to guilt about the ending of the last relationship. At some point you will have to learn and mistakes just happen. We are human and we all make mistakes in relationships. Some doesn't change anything and some cost us our relationship. But at some point you must accept that it is in the past and you cannot change it. You can apologize to her or to yourself but in the end, nothing can be changed. Forgive yourself and accept that current moment and realize that by now, excuses, reasons, guilt, blame or whatever happened in your past relationship doesn't matter anymore. You are in a relationship, you are going to be a father. You might be thinking way too far in the future as to where the relationship will go, but for now, you must really learn that you are in one.

As Andrina suggested that therapy will do you a world of good. I will help you sort out your feelings and help you accept the past and accept what is going on. If you work, see if there is an EAP (employee assistance program) offered by your company. Depending on your job can give you free counseling for some sessions. Its completely confidential and it will help you. I think spending a little bit of $$ to help your future would be worth it.

The problem is I never got a chance to heal from my last relationship.

What that a problem before she got pregnant or did it conveniently become a problem now because saying I want to end the relationship because she is pregnant makes you feel bad? Just curious...

Before she got pregnant it was a problem now feels like too much. I don't mind taking responsibility (child support) it's just me healing just nrrd time to myself. Sometimes I feel like what did I get myself into smh... I should have waited.

is abortion an option?

Hmm.....I dont believe that would be an option.

In my view, its very difficult to move forward without putting the past behind you. If you don't do that then you could spend years being unhappy or angry or depressed because you didn't want to hurt someone or you wanted to be nice or didn't have time. Your future happiness depends on what you do today.

Seek counseling

Before she got pregnant it was a problem now feels like too much. I don't mind taking responsibility (child support) it's just me healing just nrrd time to myself. Sometimes I feel like what did I get myself into smh... I should have waited.

Being a responsible co-parent is much more than (child support).

Just curious.

Had you met your current girlfriend at a different time and you were emotionally available and not grieving the ending of your last relationship, would this be someone you could see a future with?

This isn't about your past, it's about this thing moving way too fast and you're not ready. You have 2 choices. Stay/resent vs breakup/leave. You'll pay for the child either way.

I feel like what did I get myself into.