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Thread: Am I being unreasonable?

  1. #71
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by journeynow
    I don't know if unreasonable/reasonable fits the situation. Your point of view is understandable, as is her resistance, based on who each of you are and have been. Maybe it is too soon to expect to see eye-to-eye, since you are not even close to crossing that bridge, and she doesn't yet have him living with her. Can you give her other kinds of support (and thus, support him) through this transition and adjustment? His adoption and upbringing is out of your hands at the moment. I like the suggestion that has been made to perhaps talk to your clergy about it, maybe as an ongoing discussion. In your shoes, I would pray about it as well. Get my guidance from higher up.
    Absolutely, will pray about it.

    I donít want to say too much about my own conversion but I feel being given the Spirit as a four week old did eventually lead to my own conversion . Had the Spirit not been there to guide it is quite possible I could have missed out. Donít want to get into too much more of that because I donít want to get into the proselytizing side of things .

    But I do feel my mom believing what she wants to believe is fine . It doesnít bother me what other people choose to believe. It does bother me what the people in my own household or raised by me believe . That is where I have the issue . My Mom and my stepdad and my brother can all believe what they like as long as we treat each other with kindness . Though my brother and step dad have been nasty on occasion.

  2. #72
    Platinum Member journeynow's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    It does bother me what the people in my own household or raised by me believe . That is where I have the issue
    I understand. When he moves in with you, that is when he is part of your household, and raised by you, and then, you show him the way. In other words, you bring him along. People in your house go to this particular church, have these particular practices, discuss these particular beliefs, and while you live under this roof, you join us. Then you lead. He will have an idea of who you are before that point, and may have already asked you questions. Of course you can't truly know what anyone else believes (even if they tell you these things), or make them believe anything, but you definitely can share your beliefs, and openly practice them and answer questions. You will have an influence on him even when he lives with your mother, simply by being who you are and living your beliefs.

  3. #73
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    Originally Posted by journeynow
    I understand. When he moves in with you, that is when he is part of your household, and raised by you, and then, you show him the way. In other words, you bring him along. People in your house go to this particular church, have these particular practices, discuss these particular beliefs, and while you live under this roof, you join us. Then you lead. He will have an idea of who you are before that point, and may have already asked you questions. Of course you can't truly know what anyone else believes (even if they tell you these things), or make them believe anything, but you definitely can share your beliefs, and openly practice them and answer questions. You will have an influence on him even when he lives with your mother, simply by being who you are and living your beliefs.
    Absolutely, when he comes to this branch of the family he will know me for sure and attend Mass with my family probably starting this Christmas.

  4. #74
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Absolutely, when he comes to this branch of the family he will know me for sure and attend Mass with my family probably starting this Christmas.
    I am not overtly religious myself, meaning that I am not an organized church goer. That does not mean that I believe the universe, and humanity, is some sort of mathematical accident, or that there is not a guiding hand at work. I may have even read the bible over the years ;-). Along with W Somerset Maugham's the razors edge, and other works. I even read some books on Japanese spiritual beliefs and "honor", to try to comprehend why they saw fit to murder my great uncle, a POW, in 1943.

    I said before, I do not think you are being unreasonable.

    Just show him love, and guide him in as and when.

    But ultimately, the little guy will make up his own mind.

    [*Still working on that one - some needless acts of cruelty are difficult to forgive.]

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  6. #75
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    Update

    My mom and step dad get M next Tuesday.

  7. #76
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    My mom and step dad get M next Tuesday.
    I apprehend that your feelings about this are not settled.

    Please read Galatians 6:9 & Colossians 3:21.

  8. #77
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    I understand .

    I canít wait to meet him though when I go back home for my birthday next month.

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