Boyfriend and his ex are CLOSE (way too close)

So my boyfriend and i have been together for 2.5 years, and we are good friends with his best friend who happens to be dating my boyfriends FIRST GIRLFRIEND.

We all get along really well, and they just welcomed a baby into their life.

Normally everything is fine, but lately she has insisted that at home she does not wear a shirt because its just too uncomfortable and annoying to take off every time she has to breastfeed. This also includes walking around the house when my boyfriend is there with her boobs out in full force. Needless to say I am super uncomfortable with this, but I don't know if I can say anything about it. My boyfriend doesn't want to say anything about it because she is super easily offended by everything and will probably get pissed off, but I know he is uncomfortable too, especially when she stands near him.

Also, HER current boyfriend (My boyfriends best friend) does not care if my boyfriend sees her boobs all the time.

Can someone please tell me what the heck I am supposed to do about this because I feel really overwhelmed by all of it. >.

How inappropriate.

Only agree to hang out in public .

Wow, this is odd. Not only is she okay walking around exposed, but her bf is okay with this, too?

Oh my. Well, like Holly has suggested, I agree with this. You and your bf shouldn’t be anywhere where the ex feels comfortable strolling around in the nude.

How inappropriate.

 

Only agree to hang out in public .

No pun intended by holly, I'm sure. lol

This is pretty funny ! I've had friends who became a lot less modest with their bodies after having a child, and how they explained it made sense. Never heard of someone giving up on shirts entirely but who really knows !!

I guess keeping it public it is. Can't really ask someone to get dressed in their own home.

It sort of reminds me of a friend of mines father when I would go visit her and she was still living at home. He was always in tighty whities that weren't so tight anymore no matter who was over. No one in the family seemed to mind, including his wife. He'd be talking to you with it all hanging out all over. But it was his house. I just stopped going in the house !

Good luck.

It sort of reminds me of a friend of mines father when I would go visit her and she was still living at home. He was always in tighty whities that weren't so tight anymore no matter who was over. No one in the family seemed to mind, including his wife. He'd be talking to you with it all hanging out all over. But it was his house. I just stopped going in the house !

Not gonna lie. This made me giggle. I automatically pictured a Will Ferrell character as I read this, for some reason.

Well, there are nursing tunics she can buy or you can buy for her that allows a baby to nurse but doesn't expose you to the world. You might have one on hand for when she visits and insist that she wears it since you don't think it's appropriate to have her boobs hanging out in front of you and your boyfriend. It's just too impolite. Very low-class.

It seems very strange to me that her boyfriend is okay with this when your boyfriend is around.

She has every right to dress however she wants in her own home, to be clear. However, I would stop hanging out with them at home. Your boyfriend shouldn't really need to be told why. If he insists on hanging out when he knows any woman, let along his ex, is going to be disrobed, you need to have a long think about where his boundaries are and if they are actually compatible with yours.

Don't hang out with them this much if it bothers you this much. She is not putting on a stripper show for your bf, she's just open about nursing. Stay away from the politics of breastfeeding. She's in her own home and can do whatever she wants. It's you and your bf who need to leave or not be this worried about it. It's not her job to readjust what she does in the privacy of her own home, it's you and your bf who need to not go there. Stop being insecure and jealous about it.

I am super uncomfortable with this, but I don't know if I can say anything about it.

I wouldn't like being around this, regardless of who the woman is, ex-girlfriend or not.

It's just weird to me. It's weird to you too, so stay away from their home.

If you want to socialize with them, do it at a public place, and make sure they get a sitter, as she's likely the type to whip them out in public.

Many years ago I went on a double date with my boyfriend and his friend and the friends girlfriend who was breastfeeding. We sat outside at a cafe and she sat next to my boyfriend. She nursed without covering up. It made me really in uncomfortable not because she was coming on to him and not because he’d be turned on just because. I said nothing and now years later the understanding seems to be that I should put my feelings aside in favor of supporting women who breastfeed.

Most women I know cover up when they breastfeed. If I’d been able to I would have as well unless I was in my home around women I knew who felt comfortable. I don’t think the ex girlfriend is inappropriate because it’s her own home but I think it’s a little thoughtless or clueless of her to think it’s ok to hang around and let them all hang out when men are around. So I’d say nothing and hang out in public only.

I don’t think the ex girlfriend is inappropriate because it’s her own home but I think it’s a little thoughtless or clueless of her to think it’s ok to hang around and let them all hang out when men are around. So I’d say nothing and hang out in public only.

I agree with you Batya.

If the ex wants to do this in her own home, that's clearly fine. What throws me is, if I have company in my house, I'd be more concerned with them feeling comfortable in my home and wouldn't assume that they'd be okay with me walking around the house with the girls hanging out. I also can't imagine having a partner that would be okay with me being topless around guests in our home either.

It kinda makes me wonder how the ex girlfriend would feel if the roles were flipped, and if her boyfriend attended someone else's house where wandering around in your altogether is acceptable.

Sorry, don't want to derail the thread. I just can't wrap my head around this one. To each, their own, I guess.

Yes. She is signaling she doesn’t want guests in any genuine way. She’s probably exhausted - maybe only her boyfriend wanted guests. Just speculating.