Needing relationship advice

I don’t know what to do in my current relationship or what more can I do. Normally I try to talk things out if there’s anything wrong so it doesn’t build up for either of us so.If I try to talk things out calmly to even giving him space or ignoring him I get yelled at and he’ll continue being angry as well as cold to me. I’ll admit I’m not perfect I’ve snapped once or twice for a split moment, out of hurt but instantly apologized after. That of course made him even more angry with me but I can’t seem to be able to talk to him, the only time he isn’t angry or yelling at me is whenever I act happy for him pretending I’m not hurt and everything is ok and whenever we do things his way without compromising. He expects me to be happy and okay whenever I wake up the next morning even if right before bed he is screaming at me, even on days that I’m sick, having a bad day im expected to look happy and just be myself. But I can’t exactly be myself, because some days I do feel sad, I feel sick, I feel stressed and if I show that I’m feeling sad sick, stressed etc hell just blow up at me some days but not always thankfully but I never know when I might say the wrong thing to set him off again. Other times he’ll just act like he could care less. I trying to keep all of those emotions locked away so he doesn’t see them except it’s hard to hide it whenever I’m sick but I do my best to take care of him still and do things around the house after work even if I’m sick.I’m scared to say the wrong word or things that might upset him. The only thing I’ve noticed that calms him down is whenever I give in or just say what he wants me to say or say it’s my fault. Which I find myself doing often is shutting down and giving in, putting on a smile and trying to please him again. He does come around and apologize for his actions along with saying he understands how I’m being made to feel but then either later on that day or few days after will go right back to it again. I want to believe his words but I have told him actions speak louder than words, not to say I didnt appreciate his apologize but I’ve heard it over and over the same thing. I got him to agree to couples therapy and he was seeing a therapist for 6 months but he recently stopped going saying he doesn’t need it anymore. Is there anything more that I can do to.

... the only time he isn’t angry or yelling at me is whenever I act happy for him pretending I’m not hurt and everything is ok and whenever we do things his way without compromising....

 

... I never know when I might say the wrong thing to set him off again...

 

... Other times he’ll just act like he could care less...

 

... He does come around and apologize for his actions along with saying he understands how I’m being made to feel but then either later on that day or few days after will go right back to it again.

I got him to agree to couples therapy and he was seeing a therapist for 6 months but he recently stopped going saying he doesn’t need it anymore.

Does he do anything positive in this relationship that you like/enjoy/benefit from?

It sounds like he pushes your buttons to keep you anxious. Controlling behaviors.

It is up to you to decide what to do about this, but I suspect if you demonstrate some self respect, and lay down some boundaries for his behaviors that you will not tolerate him crossing, he might end the relationship.

It all sounds a bit toxic for you, and is making you unhappy, so letting him do that might be the best result for you in the medium/long term.

He ia a controlling, manipulative bully. Why are you in this relationship?

Leave. This relationship is sick.

Op: You are being abused. Abuse isn't just about hitting someone. He's emotionally and verbally whittling away at your self-worth one day at at time. The fact you don't see that and run from him for it makes me give you the advice to see our own counselor so that you can beef up your self-worth enough to want more for yourself than what he offers you.

I'm sorry you are allowing this for yourself. As long as you stay with him, you are enabling him to abuse you.

This is emotionally abusive behavior. As long as things go his way, he's fine, but notice how "the rules" are always changing and you have to somehow figure out what it is and comply or be met with this cruel behavior towards you. They may say they'll change, and if they do, it's short-lived. They revert. If you start exhibiting your boundaries and not tolerate this behavior, he could escalate, and he could get more vicious or even physical, so please be careful, but what you need to do is extract yourself from this relationship. There's compromise, and there's living under an umbrella of fear. You do not have the former. It will not get better. If this guy is abusive, he will not change. If he is clueless and doesn't know how to manage another person's down moods, he needs to suffer loss before he realizes his actions are a problem and work on changing them. He absolutely does not like owning up to his cruelty, apologizing, and working to not do it again and regaining your trust. He blames you...you made him. This is classic abusive behavior. I don't want to throw the abuse card too readily, but the signs are there. It won't get better.

He expects me to be happy and okay whenever I wake up the next morning even if right before bed he is screaming at me, even on days that I’m sick, having a bad day im expected to look happy and just be myself. But I can’t exactly be myself, because some days I do feel sad, I feel sick, I feel stressed and if I show that I’m feeling sad sick, stressed etc hell just blow up at me some days but not always thankfully but I never know when I might say the wrong thing to set him off again. Other times he’ll just act like he could care less. I trying to keep all of those emotions locked away so he doesn’t see them except it’s hard to hide it whenever I’m sick but I do my best to take care of him still and do things around the house after work even if I’m sick.I’m scared to say the wrong word or things that might upset him. The only thing I’ve noticed that calms him down is whenever I give in or just say what he wants me to say or say it’s my fault. Which I find myself doing often is shutting down and giving in, putting on a smile and trying to please him again.

You need to leave. Now. He is verbally abusive and controlling. It made me sick to my stomach reading your post. I lived through that and left. You are constantly walking on eggshells. Nothing will fix this except you leaving.