Jump to content

Im just full of doubts


Recommended Posts

Last night i went to target with my bf(ex? ) and two kids (not his) we were there and argued for none sense and said he was going to the car and he was leaving me there to shop, but it upset me to the fact that we went together and i always say: “if we go together we leave together” but he had already done this To me a couple of months ago we argued for nonsense again and then I couldn’t find him and I was thinking he went to another aisle to see something else but what I came to was that he was in the car and he left me there and I think that was rude so last night we got here and I was upset and I still try to talk to him or you didn’t want to he was ignoring me on his phone or when I told him to put his phone down and he just would reply “OK” or “aha” And it made me upset to the point that I just didn’t wanna talk anymore and I went to bed in the middle of the night he goes to bed and tried to hug me like nothing happened and I always want to conclusion or clarification or closure of what’s going on or what’s gonna happen and he never wants to talk or he never wants to listen so this morning I took my son to therapy and he sent me a pic on ig of something that said something about that it was me and him versus the problem not me versus him or something like that and he put that why didn’t I want to fix things that he tried when clearly last night I tried to talk to him and he didn’t want to so this morning he was awake and everything and did not say one word to me before I left so I left and then he he was texting me telling me all this stuff I came home and I tried to ignore him not ignoring him because I was being mean but ignore him because I didn’t want to fight and I just wanted to calm down and talk to him when my head was not hot so she goes in the room and tells me why don’t you want to talk to me and I was on the computer and I just ignored him because I didn’t want to fight after that he tried to hug me and I told him to leave me alone because he was acting like nothing had happened then he takes off with the car keys (note we both pay this car but its under my name) My purse was in there and I had to go pick up my nephew because I take care of him I had to pick him up from school then he comes and he’s the keys there and he said he didn’t want to be with me anymore so I tell him what’s going on what’s your problem you’re the one that screwed this up this is your fault and maybe this isnt about who’s fault it was but atleast I need you to recognize and you should apologize for something that you did wrong he said OKDo you want to talk about it we can talk about it we went to the room and after that I snap my fingers at him because of what he did and maybe I shouldn’t have because I know that he gets mad when I snap my fingers he grabbed me and threw me to the bed and then after that he took the keys again and I took his glasses and I told him to give me the keys and he said not till you give me my glasses and he said give me my glasses back please and I knew he wasn’t gonna give me the keys but right after he slammed them on the floor and I’m not the type of person to damage anybody’s property even if im really furious But I broke his glasses and threw them at him He just took off without his stuff without anything I haven’t heard from him and the whole day and honestly I don’t know what’s going to happen because this is not the first time something like this happens so I need advice :(

Link to comment

That must be the longest sentence in the world. Plus it's difficult to read as it's one big wall of text.

 

You two sound so very immature fussing and fighting and being nasty to each other. You both need to learn to communicate, how to sit down and have a sensible, rational discussion without finger snapping, yelling, insulting each other. How old are you both? If you cant learn to communicate better your relationship is doomed.

Link to comment

If you're arguing like this all the time, the relationship is toxic. Also it sounds like he's using the arguments to control and manipulate you, which makes it emotional abuse, especially if you're feeling stupid and useless with him. And with him throwing your keys at you and you breaking his glasses, it sounds like it's close to escalating to physical violence. It sounds like you should move on from him. This is not a healthy relationship and you can do better.

Link to comment

You have racked up quite an expensive tantrum. Out of any personal item a person can carry, eyeglasses are one of the more costly accessories. It can range anywhere up to a grand (appointment, frames, lenses, special features) without insurance coverage. Even if he does have insurance (since technically insurance isn't free, either paid by the account holder, job, or the government via tax), if he decides to take you to court over it, then you could potentially pay the full amount. It all depends on your area and the laws. Whatever it comes down to, it is going to be a significant expense.

 

I would do the right thing; offer to pay for his glasses. Perhaps you'll get lucky if he has insurance and hasn't used his benefits yet, in which he might just let you foot the money for the cost after insurance kicks in. If you do not pay upfront, then he could take you to court. You could pay for attourney fees on top of the cost of the glasses, which will greatly increase your debt to him. It is in your best interest to be forthcoming with this.

 

Besides that, from what I could gather from your post (sorry, it is admittedly hard to read) it seems these are rather petty fights between the two of you. There is a breakdown in communication, to the point that both of you resort to uncontrolled anger. I believe at least a separation would serve both parties well. Once you have calmed down, initiate a time to talk about the situation. Leave when you feel too angry at any point. It is okay to ask for space when you need it, and then resume at a later point when tensions have tapered off.

Link to comment

Hopefully you are not subjecting your kids to this chaotic violent situation. Where is their father? Why do you let this bf live with you and drive your car? Is he a drug addict?

 

Do you both use drugs or drink when these violent episodes happen? Report your car stolen and change the locks. You are both horribly violent and toxic. Hopefully your children get taken away by social services until you control your temper and stop the violence with this bf. May next time the neighbors will call the plice and both of you could go to jail.

I snap my fingers at him because of what he did and maybe I shouldn’t have because I know that he gets mad when I snap my fingers he grabbed me and threw me to the bed and then after that he took the keys again and I took his glasses and I told him to give me the keys and he said not till you give me my glasses and he said give me my glasses back please and I knew he wasn’t gonna give me the keys but right after he slammed them on the floor

 

im really furious But I broke his glasses and threw them at him He just took off without his stuff without anything I haven’t heard from him.

Link to comment
You have racked up quite an expensive tantrum. Out of any personal item a person can carry, eyeglasses are one of the more costly accessories. It can range anywhere up to a grand (appointment, frames, lenses, special features) without insurance coverage. Even if he does have insurance (since technically insurance isn't free, either paid by the account holder, job, or the government via tax), if he decides to take you to court over it, then you could potentially pay the full amount. It all depends on your area and the laws. Whatever it comes down to, it is going to be a significant expense.

 

I would do the right thing; offer to pay for his glasses. Perhaps you'll get lucky if he has insurance and hasn't used his benefits yet, in which he might just let you foot the money for the cost after insurance kicks in. If you do not pay upfront, then he could take you to court. You could pay for attourney fees on top of the cost of the glasses, which will greatly increase your debt to him. It is in your best interest to be forthcoming with this.

 

Besides that, from what I could gather from your post (sorry, it is admittedly hard to read) it seems these are rather petty fights between the two of you. There is a breakdown in communication, to the point that both of you resort to uncontrolled anger. I believe at least a separation would serve both parties well. Once you have calmed down, initiate a time to talk about the situation. Leave when you feel too angry at any point. It is okay to ask for space when you need it, and then resume at a later point when tensions have tapered off.

 

So, what about him breaking open my remote key? I had to pick up my nephew and my car wouldnt start, it marked on the dashboard key fob wasnt detected, because he slammed it on the floor :( i actually did leave but he didnt talk to me as i was getting my son ready for therapy (before everything happened) but he started texting me and thats the problem he always texts me when he can actaully come and physically talk to me. I ask for space or i simply just wanna leave and come back after ive cooled down but he doesnt let me leave he’ll take the keys away from me and basically i didnt know what was happening but i text and asked what was happening and he said he didnt want to be with me anymore [emoji24]

Link to comment
That must be the longest sentence in the world. Plus it's difficult to read as it's one big wall of text.

 

You two sound so very immature fussing and fighting and being nasty to each other. You both need to learn to communicate, how to sit down and have a sensible, rational discussion without finger snapping, yelling, insulting each other. How old are you both? If you cant learn to communicate better your relationship is doomed.

 

I tried talking to him the day before yesterday, and he didn’t want to listen, i feel i actually did better than other times, i would just close myself and not want to talk but i feel like i actually was doing the right thing. After coming from my sons appointment i just not talked to him because i didnt want to fight, he always told me there was lack of communication but he never did anything about it. He had the solution but decided to just not care about “us”

Link to comment
If you're arguing like this all the time, the relationship is toxic. Also it sounds like he's using the arguments to control and manipulate you, which makes it emotional abuse, especially if you're feeling stupid and useless with him. And with him throwing your keys at you and you breaking his glasses, it sounds like it's close to escalating to physical violence. It sounds like you should move on from him. This is not a healthy relationship and you can do better.

 

Like i said im not the type of person to damage personal property but honestly it made me so mad that he couldnt give me the keys as i asked him for them, i mean there was no need for him to split it open and make me mad and brake his glasses. Yes! It was wrong, i admit it but, he also threw my jacket away and left it hanging from the dumpster so i can see it and ive never ed around with his like that

Link to comment
Hopefully you are not subjecting your kids to this chaotic violent situation. Where is their father? Why do you let this bf live with you and drive your car? Is he a drug addict?

 

Do you both use drugs or drink when these violent episodes happen? Report your car stolen and change the locks. You are both horribly violent and toxic. Hopefully your children get taken away by social services until you control your temper and stop the violence with this bf. May next time the neighbors will call the plice and both of you could go to jail.

 

First of all we dont drink at all and dont do ANY type of drugs! So i think its best to not judge. He lives with me because i think there are couples that decide to do this and its a part of life, third there was no hitting involved either, so i dont know where the violent part of us is at 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ and lastly everything you desire for me, GOD will multiply for you [emoji4]

Link to comment
So, what about him breaking open my remote key? I had to pick up my nephew and my car wouldnt start, it marked on the dashboard key fob wasnt detected, because he slammed it on the floor :( i actually did leave but he didnt talk to me as i was getting my son ready for therapy (before everything happened) but he started texting me and thats the problem he always texts me when he can actaully come and physically talk to me. I ask for space or i simply just wanna leave and come back after ive cooled down but he doesnt let me leave he’ll take the keys away from me and basically i didnt know what was happening but i text and asked what was happening and he said he didnt want to be with me anymore [emoji24]

 

An "eye for an eye" mentality never gets people very far. In fact, it gets people arrested. In this case for him and you, if police ever intervene or a report is filed, it could be under the destruction of property for the lot of you. Plus, I am a glasses and remote key car owner. My eyewear is way more expensive than my key. Is your key worth one grand?

 

You are in control of yourself, and no one else. So, if he breaks your stuff, you shouldn't break his to make things "even". You physically leave, or if he makes doing so hard or has repetitive behavior, then you have to remove yourself from the relationship completely for your own good.

 

When it gets to this point, concerning how you both are so bad in communication, it is better to be broken up. You two are not good together and rile each other up. My most recent ex did this to me while still living together, albeit broken up already. Trust me, I know what it's like to get so mad at an ex significant other that you want to break their stuff. Don't do it; you have to fight the feeling, not give into it. Him calling it off with you is a blessing in disguise.

Link to comment
An "eye for an eye" mentality never gets people very far. In fact, it gets people arrested. In this case for him and you, if police ever intervene or a report is filed, it could be under the destruction of property for the lot of you. Plus, I am a glasses and remote key car owner. My eyewear is way more expensive than my key. Is your key worth one grand?

 

You are in control of yourself, and no one else. So, if he breaks your stuff, you shouldn't break his to make things "even". You physically leave, or if he makes doing so hard or has repetitive behavior, then you have to remove yourself from the relationship completely for your own good.

 

When it gets to this point, concerning how you both are so bad in communication, it is better to be broken up. You two are not good together and rile each other up. My most recent ex did this to me while still living together, albeit broken up already. Trust me, I know what it's like to get so mad at an ex significant other that you want to break their stuff. Don't do it; you have to fight the feeling, not give into it. Him calling it off with you is a blessing in disguise.

 

No, my key isn’t worth one grand but neither his glasses. I mean it doesn’t mean because they aren’t its fine but its not the first thing he breaks and I’ve had it fixed or replaced because he didn’t want to. Yes, he is bad in communication ive always done the talking and he would be on his phone or just had a condescending attitude towards me, trust me its okay if he calls it off but i just want him to talk to me and tell me why it all turned this way if i just tried my best

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...