Physical contact = sex?

4 weeks ago I started at university. There is 20 on my course and immediately I was struck by a gorgeous guy. He was friendly, confident and chatty and I knew there had to be a girlfriend or external "catch" involved so thankfully I focused my thoughts on my friends and beginning of studies . Every week we've been chatting for about 30 mins before our classes..having a laugh...mildy flirting but still I told myself he's too good to be true and out of my league.. however one week ago today he asked "fancy like going for a coffee?" We went and laughed and chatted for a looong time... he was restricted in that he wasn't physical but when I left he put his arm on mine and squeezed it gently and said "I'll see you later".

He rarely uses social media so thankfully there was no message obsessing ..but four days later (start of this week) he started to poke me .. gently tickle me and nudge me in class very discreetly.. this was every day this week in class and yesterday as I was leaving, infront of the guys in my class, he got VERY touchy/feely and "where are YOU going eh? Thought we were going for a coffee later" ..

Today.. in a class where we sit together, I planned on returning the initiations but to my confusion, he kept his arms folded and payed special attention to EVERYONE but me. I felt humiliated as all of my classmates saw us yesterday and I can't even be mad as we have only become more flirty this week. He took his coat and left with a few from my class without saying goodbye ..

Was/I just an ego boost for him or did he think he could lure me into sex ? I don't know how to be with him now

Either he has a gf or simply likes the attention. If he liked you, he would ask you out for more than coffee.

The last incident was game playing. The poking, tickling etc... is odd. He sounds like a game player, immature (acting cold) and a waste of time.

I would not continue with this guy. Something is off.

Well, I don't think he was luring you into sex. But apparently you never accepted his invite about going out for coffee with him over the last couple of days so he felt rejected. You can wait and see if he notices you again, or think about a question about class you can ask him to see if he'll talk to you. You could ask him if he'd be interested in getting some coffee after class and see if he accepts.

I'm guessing you all are pretty young. Thing is that he was hitting on you pretty hard, but....it kind of fell on deaf ears partly because you are a bit insecure. I don't think he has a gf and I don't think that he was looking to lure you into the bedroom. He was acting like a young guy, a bit inexperienced, trying to get your attention and date you. You juuuuust didn't quite pick up on it and encourage him to carry on. Basically, I agree with Danzee that he probably felt rejected and like you aren't interested so, he is dropping out. You can try and salvage this by asking him to coffee and flirting a bit. See what happens. Could be also that this ship has now sailed. In the future, don't tell yourself that you aren't worthy.

He did not even ask her, he assumed. I think his reaction was also childish. How old is he?

He did not even ask her, he assumed. I think his reaction was also childish. How old is he?

They just started uni so 18-19?

Not sure if I understand this correctly, but it sounds like she DID go for a coffee with the guy?: "however one week ago today he asked "fancy like going for a coffee?" We went and laughed and chatted for a looong time... he was restricted in that he wasn't physical but when I left he put his arm on mine and squeezed it gently and said "I'll see you later".

They just started uni so 18-19?

They are babies. That makes sense.

Why doesn't he have your number?

Masters students (:

I'm 26, he is 27.

I didn't go for the second coffee as I had a class. He lives away from university so had to get his train home. He told me we'd go today instead but when we finished class he snidely asked the class "so who's coming for a coffee?" ..that also hurt but thankfully two others in my class asked me "wanna get to the Library?" And he mumbled "you boring lot!"

At this point I'm wondering if he's after all the girls in my class as one girl leaped at the chance and I saw him look at her today ..but perhaps I'm too cynical

If you are interested, you should show interest. At the start of the semester, you have to forgive a guy for playing the field a little, and not putting all his eggs in one basket. He is trying to meet as many as possible. He is not in college to go exclusive with one girl that doesnt have any interest in him. If you show no interest, someone else might. Been there, done that. He wont waste a whole lot of time on someone that is not responsive.

Masters students (:

I'm 26, he is 27.

 

I didn't go for the second coffee as I had a class. He lives away from university so had to get his train home. He told me we'd go today instead but when we finished class he snidely asked the class "so who's coming for a coffee?" ..that also hurt but thankfully two others in my class asked me "wanna get to the Library?" And he mumbled "you boring lot!"

 

At this point I'm wondering if he's after all the girls in my class as one girl leaped at the chance and I saw him look at her today ..but perhaps I'm too cynical

You are not young. He behaves like a teenager. He sounds like a jerk!

If you are interested, you should show interest. At the start of the semester, you have to forgive a guy for playing the field a little, and not putting all his eggs in one basket. He is trying to meet as many as possible. He is not in college to go exclusive with one girl that doesnt have any interest in him. If you show no interest, someone else might. Been there, done that. He wont waste a whole lot of time on someone that is not responsive.

I do not agree wish this at all. It would also make me feel disrespected.

She had other plans. If he had had the courtesy to ask her in advance, she may have been available. She does have a life, and should not manipulate her schedule for someone who is not considerate. Do you expect women to do this for you?

Bottom line; he does not care and is a player. You deserve much better! Jalapeño, you did the right thing.

Masters students (:

I'm 26, he is 27.

 

I didn't go for the second coffee as I had a class. He lives away from university so had to get his train home. He told me we'd go today instead but when we finished class he snidely asked the class "so who's coming for a coffee?" ..that also hurt but thankfully two others in my class asked me "wanna get to the Library?" And he mumbled "you boring lot!"

 

At this point I'm wondering if he's after all the girls in my class as one girl leaped at the chance and I saw him look at her today ..but perhaps I'm too cynical

Oh ouch..... Well then given that info, I'd say he is simply a flirt and I still stand by that he was hitting on you, but got too much of a lukewarm response from you to pursue further. He might be attractive, but it doesn't mean he is confident or even that experienced. Honestly, his behavior isn't suave enough to read as player, just immature.