Hi there.
So here is my situation. I am 29 years old, and recently divorced. My ex husband and I had fertility and adoption issues, and a lot of resentment. I know already that it may be a struggle for me to have my own children. Fast forward to now, I've been seeing a 33 year old guy for about 5 months, who is wonderful. He has two children of his own already and is very involved in coparenting with his ex. He's a wonderful father, and I admire it about him so very much. He knows about my fertility issues in my previous marriage, he knows about my failed adoption, and how resentment ruined my marriage. He also doesn't want me to meet his children for at least a year, and has already expressed he doesn't want more children. He has copped out and said things like "I wish I had my babies with you" or "I know I'm with the woman I'd want to have more children with if I changed my mind" I feel completely powerless in this area of our relationship.
I love this man, in ever area of our relationship outside of this issue (a very large issue) he is exactly what I need. I'm worried the more I fall, the more I will resent him, and I've expressed this many times. I also worry that this is my only shot at a family, if even just as a step mother figure, eventually. So do I hold on knowing I will never have all that I want, in the fear that it's all I can have, or do I move on, walk away from a man I am so enthralled with, in the hopes that I can find someone who does want a family with me? I'm not someone who needs to have "my own" children in a biological sense, I wouldn't have tried adoption if that were true, but I don't like the idea that if things were to not work out, these children that I love will be taken away from me, and there's nothing I can do about it, because they're not "mine" I have so much love to give, and I feel like I'm in limbo and I can't make any choices if I stay in this relationship.