My guy friend says he is jealous of my future husband?

Hello there,

So I've known this guy for a month and we've become really good friends. I am in my very early twenties and he is 12 years older than me. We get along veeeryy well and I really like him he is a very nice gentleman (very shy too!). I was a trainee in his company and I was next to him so we used to talk everyday.

After 3 weeks, he asked me out for an ice cream and then we went bowling as he suggested (I don't know if that's a date? he also payed for everything and refused to let me pay). After a while he told me that he finds my eyes really attractive and anyone can get lost by just looking at them and that I am really sweet to the point where he thinks I am made of sugar Do friends say these things to each other?

He also always says he is jealous of my future husband because I will be sweeter with him and because he can look at me every morning. Also, whenever he calls me we talk for 5 hours straight!

What does all these things mean? It's my first time having a guy friend and I don't want to misunderstand him.

Thanks!

It means he is not your friend. He is a person who wants you to break up with your future husband and date him. If he was someone who wanted a friendship he'd want to meet your future husband and he would be supportive of your relationship. Instead he is flirting with you and taking you out on dates and trying to convince you to leave your significant other.

How is it that you have five hours straight to talk to him? How often do you see your boyfriend?

You didnt say you are engaged or hoping to be, soon. My theory is this guy is hoping to get laid and that buttering you up will make that happen. His sappy comments would make me puke but that's me.

Is there a man in your life that you plan to marry? If so, stop going out with Romeo and concentrate on your future husband.

You've been dating for a few weeks and he's laying it on very thick with all the typical lines. Hopefully he's not still you employer? He's not trying to be 'friends" and you very well know that. Don't string him along if you don't like him that way.

I've known this guy for a month and we've become really good friends. I am in my very early twenties and he is 12 years older than me. I was a trainee in his company

Does your bf know about all of this?

Does he have a gf or wife?

This guy sounds gross. This is your boss?

>How old are you? I ask because I agree with Wiseman in that anyone who is old enough to work should know how a platonic relationship works and would know boundaries that are in place that keep it platonic. He is crossing those boundaries with the type of attention he is showing you.

>It's not clear by your opening post if you are actually engaged or he is just saying facetiously that he is jealous of any guy that gets you to marry him in the future????

>Do you like this man in a romantic way?

Thanks for all the replies!

I don't have a boyfriend and he also does not have a girlfriend. I'm not getting married but he just likes to talk about marriage sometimes.

Also he is not my boss, he was just training me and not anymore because my training has ended so I no longer work there.

He's a "friend" because he's trying to get in your pants. Don't fall for it. Don't be so flattered either. It's disrespectful of him, especially you being so young, him 12 years your senior. I hope he's not your boss! Are you engaged? BF? Single? What's your deal? If you're single, do whatever , but know he's out to get one thing-----you.

Edit: just saw your reply. He likes you. Yes it was a date. But be careful.

Thanks for all the replies!

 

I don't have a boyfriend and he also does not have a girlfriend. I'm not getting married but he just likes to talk about marriage sometimes.

 

Also he is not my boss, he was just training me and not anymore because my training has ended so I no longer work there.

Oh so the "future husband" is not a real person. I didn't understand.

Do you want to date him? He wants to date you. He doesn't want a platonic friendship.

Thanks for all the replies!

 

I don't have a boyfriend and he also does not have a girlfriend. I'm not getting married but he just likes to talk about marriage sometimes.

 

Also he is not my boss, he was just training me and not anymore because my training has ended so I no longer work there.

Oh good. Well, he is not any friend of yours. He is an older dude trying to get into your panties using some pretty pathetic, tired, overused lines. Especially the eyes thing...lol.... It's so bad it's funny really.

Anyway, if you are interested in sleeping with him carry on. If not, better stay far away. Also, don't pretend to be so naive. You know perfectly well you went on a date with him. If you aren't interested romantically, never ever lead any man on like that. That can end very badly for you.

>How old are you? I ask because I agree with Wiseman in that anyone who is old enough to work should know how a platonic relationship works and would know boundaries that are in place that keep it platonic. He is crossing those boundaries with the type of attention he is showing you.

 

>It's not clear by your opening post if you are actually engaged or he is just saying facetiously that he is jealous of any guy that gets you to marry him in the future????

 

>Do you like this man in a romantic way?

Thanks for your reply.

I am 22 and we are both single.

And yes he is just saying the he's jealous of any guy that gets to marry me.

I'm still not sure how I feel about him. I mean he's nice with me but I still want to understand his moves I don't know if they're normal I never had a friendship with a guy before.

Oh good. Well, he is not any friend of yours. He is an older dude trying to get into your panties using some pretty pathetic, tired, overused lines. Especially the eyes thing...lol.... It's so bad it's funny really.

 

Anyway, if you are interested in sleeping with him carry on. If not, better stay far away. Also, don't pretend to be so naive. You know perfectly well you went on a date with him. If you aren't interested romantically, never ever lead any man on like that. That can end very badly for you.

I'm not pretending to be "so naive"!

The guy is European and I'm from a totally different culture! I never dated a guy before and he's my first European friend too! so that's why I am asking.

Thanks anyways.

I'm not pretending to be "so naive"!

The guy is European and I'm from a totally different culture! I never dated a guy before and he's my first European friend too! so that's why I am asking.

 

Thanks anyways.

OK, stop calling him a friend because he is not. He is trying to date you and you are going along with it. If you are not interested in him romantically, this needs to end right now. I repeat - he is NOT a friend.

Thanks for your reply.

 

I am 22 and we are both single.

And yes he is just saying the he's jealous of any guy that gets to marry me.

 

I'm still not sure how I feel about him. I mean he's nice with me but I still want to understand his moves I don't know if they're normal I never had a friendship with a guy before.

His moves are "normal" for a man that wants to be more than just your friend. Figure out what your end goal with him is: Do you only want him as a friend? If that's the case then straighten him out about talking like that to you when all you are as friends. If you want to be his girlfriend, then next time he acts that way when he's invited you out but does nothing to advance the relationship then question him on what he's up to.

He is hitting on you.

OK. Well, the guy is flirting with you, and he's trying to sweeten you up into becoming his girlfriend. You're going to have to decide what your intentions with him are. He's a bit old for you, but you're getting close to the point where you're going to have to decide whether you tell him that you're just friends or you want to be something more than friends. At this point, you can consider his corny pickup lines because of his European background. But you've got to figure things out with him soon.

Yeah, writing is on the wall. He's trying to date you, or at least sleep with you, but going about it sideways, as older dudes are prone to doing with younger women.

By paying, by saying sweet things but not acting on them, by referencing your mystical eyes and future nuptials instead of, you know, how friggin' hot he finds you, he gets to come across a little differently than maybe you're used to. A bit slippery and saccharine from my seats, but, hey, if it's landing let it land.

But, rest assured, there is an eager little caveman in there wanting much more than friendship, just like you already know that your inner cavewoman is enjoying the non-platonic attention, while maybe not being sure about what you want from him.

Take all his statements through a thesaurus, and they'll spit back as: "You're pretty cool, and I'd like to have sex with you."

And that's all fine. A million more souls are out there this second, dancing the same tune, and a lot of great relationships start when two people find each other pretty cool and want to roll around in bed. Just don't pretend a waltz is a tango, you know?

Yep. This guy is trying to date you. Tread carefully if that's not what you want.

Guys my take is the "future husband" is not in fact a real person, but someone she may meet in the future who may become her husband. I could be wrong, just my sense from reading her original post.

I don't think he's trying to get in your pants at all, I think he really likes you, and is doing what many guys do, tossing out the compliments hoping you'll be flattered and return his affection.

If you actually had a boyfriend, yes his comments would be disrespectful, but being that you currently don't (again just my take), he's laying it on thick hoping you'll be flattered enough to want to date him versus just being "friends."

EDIT: I just read further and saw that you clarified what I had originally thought. OP, do you like him, more than a friend? I think he's really into you and wants to date you.

I'm not pretending to be "so naive"!

The guy is European and I'm from a totally different culture! I never dated a guy before and he's my first European friend too! so that's why I am asking.

 

Thanks anyways.

Is there a culture that doesn't have cheesy come ons??!! 😄

Guys my take is the "future husband" is not in fact a real person, but someone she may meet in the future who may become her husband. I could be wrong, just my sense from reading her original post.

 

I don't think he's trying to get in your pants at all, I think he really likes you, and is doing what many guys do, tossing out the compliments hoping you'll be flattered and return his affection.

 

If you actually had a boyfriend, yes his comments would be disrespectful, but being that you currently don't (again just my take), he's laying it on thick hoping you'll be flattered enough to want to date him versus just being "friends."

 

EDIT: I just read further and saw that you clarified what I had originally thought. OP, do you like him, more than a friend? I think he's really into you and wants to date you.

Yes, she explained this above - I was confused too by the title and what she wrote in her original post. I find it confusing that she thinks a person commenting on her looks to that extent, taking her on dates and referring to her imaginary future husband in that way just wants to be friends -I agree with what Itsallgrand wrote -would her female friends act/speak this way?

So you are very well aware that he is not a "friend", you have a crush on him and want to date him. It seems your questions are rhetorical and what you want to hear is "he is into you". You seem to enjoy the attention and flattery so go ahead and continue dating him.

I don't have a boyfriend and he also does not have a girlfriend.

Considering if you're wasting your time or not, here's some stats from age gap relationships: A five-year age gap statistically means you’re 18% more likely to divorce (versus just 3% with a 1-year age difference), and that rate rises to 39% for a 10-year age difference.

He's 12 years your senior, and if you got together, you'd be subject to that 39% failure rate. And what a person in their early twenties wants could drastically change by the time they are in their late twenties. The decision making part of your brain won't even be fully mature until you are about 25.

If he's bold enough to say those things to you, why hasn't he made any moves yet? Are you sure he doesn't have a wife or gf and is playing around with you to add a little spark in his life? Even when I was a teen, I avoided guys who spoke to me like this if I wasn't already in a relationship with them. To me, if those types of flirty words rolled out of them so easily, I saw them as players who had a lot of experience schmoozing a myriad of women.

I tended toward a more earthy type of guy, who treated me as a pretty woman who they wanted to get to know without having to shower me with sugar-coated compliments to win me over.

Be cautious of dating someone from another culture if you don't understand the norms of that culture. In some countries, it's expected a man have a wife and a mistress.

He sounds like a weirdo to me, but if you want to go for it, I'd at least ask him what his past relationship history has been. This will be a clue of if he's capable of long term relationships or not, if this is your goal. His pattern will be very telling, along with the reason for the breakups.

Honestly, since you never had a boyfriend, i would stop hanging out with him so much. Methinks he sees you as a young attractive piece of meat and you don't get on "amazing" like you think. He wants to get in your pants and doesn't consider you a peer -- he considers you this young warm body and as soon as he gets in your pants i predict he'll cool off big time.

Honestly, since you never had a boyfriend, i would stop hanging out with him so much. Methinks he sees you as a young attractive piece of meat and you don't get on "amazing" like you think. He wants to get in your pants and doesn't consider you a peer -- he considers you this young warm body and as soon as he gets in your pants i predict he'll cool off big time.

He doesn't seem "dangerous" given that he flirts like a 12 years old.