Bewildered

I met a guy online, and we went out on a first date..after the date he tried to slip me the tounge!! I dont even know him and he does that! Im in my 50s and i cant kiss a complete stranger! Did he want to sleep with me? Because he texts me..want lots of pics. But no second date? What should i think?

What?? You mean there's not supposed to be tongue after 50???????? I'd better really enjoy my next decade then lol

Is this for real?? Block him if he creeps you out.

I met a guy online, and we went out on a first date..after the date he tried to slip me the tounge!! I dont even know him and he does that! Im in my 50s and i cant kiss a complete stranger! Did he want to sleep with me? Because he texts me..want lots of pics. But no second date? What should i think?

You should think "I'll ignore his request for pics and see if he actually asks me out again. Did he want to sleep with you? Yes he likely was testing the waters and would have if you were receptive. I suspect you weren't. Did he ask for the pics after her slipped you his tongue or before he tried that?

What?? You mean there's not supposed to be tongue after 50????????

I think she was saying she's not crazy about it on a very first date with someone she doesn't even know. Many people don't.

I think she was saying she's not crazy about it on a very first date with someone she doesn't even know. Many people don't.

I know, I was joking, hence the "lol" :)

I met a guy online, and we went out on a first date..after the date he tried to slip me the tounge!! I dont even know him and he does that!

I am kind of with SweetGirl on this, I mean the nerve of him slipping you the tongue like that on the first date! LOL (I'm teasing you.)

In all seriousness though AndreaBlume, when two people are attracted it's not all that uncommon to kiss (deeply) like that even on the first date.

But if you don't feel comfortable kissing (tongue or otherwise) on the first date, that is certainly your prerogative.

As to whether or not he wanted sex, I agree with ThatwasThen, probably, which is not necessarily a bad thing. He's attracted to you, he wants to have sex with you.

Whether or not that's all he wants, it's hard to say, are you inclined to see him again should he ask? It may take a few dates to know for sure where his head is about that.

Agree with ThatwasThen about the pics too, do not go there, he already knows what you look like, there is no reason for it at this early stage of the game.

Some people like to make out on a first date. Some people like to have sex. Some people like to take their time to get to know you. Sometimes it takes days or months or years. Some people want to connect sexually first (or only). Some don’t.

I try not to judge. There is no “right” or “wrong”, “good” or “bad” - there is only “compatible” and “incompatible”.

Personally, I’m incompatible with someone who tries to get too sexual too quickly. I like to take my time to get to know someone before I’m comfortable with that. Someone who wants that quickly will get frustrated with me because they will feel like I am uninterested, while I will feel like they only want me for that.

You sound like you are the same.

Sounds like you are just incompatible.

Such is the nature of online dating. You need to fish through a bunch and go on a number of dates to find your match. Doesn’t sound like this guy is it for you...

I am kind of with SweetGirl on this, I mean the nerve of him slipping you the tongue like that on the first date! LOL (I'm teasing you.)

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Right on! I like kissing on the first date if I'm attracted because I want to know how they kiss and if I don't like it I might not go on another date with them lol . It starts in the kiss.......

I would think that you and him are not compatible and move on to other dates.

As for asking for pics, just say never. Again, you and him aren't compatible. Like not even from the same planet.

Right on! I like kissing on the first date if I'm attracted because I want to know how they kiss and if I don't like it I might not go on another date with them lol . It starts in the kiss.......

LOL I believe there was a song from back in the 60's about that.

"It's In His Kiss."

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Betty+Everett+it%27s+in+his+kiss+yahoo&view=detail&mid=58C301D15A93193FD03C58C301D15A93193FD03C&FORM=VIRE

LOL I believe there was a song from back in the 60's about that.

 

"It's In His Kiss."

 

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Betty+Everett+it%27s+in+his+kiss+yahoo&view=detail&mid=58C301D15A93193FD03C58C301D15A93193FD03C&FORM=VIRE

Ooh I forgot about that song!

Ooh I forgot about that song!

Yeah me too; your "kiss" comment reminded me so I dug it up.

Life must've been so much simpler back then, no OLD, no texting, no Facebook, no social media.

Just boy meets girl, boy asks girl out on date, boy and girl start dating, boy and girl get married and live happily (or not so happily) after!!

Can you imagine?

Yeah me too; your "kiss" comment reminded me so I dug it up.

 

Life must've been so much simpler back then, no OLD, no texting, no Facebook, no social media.

 

Just boy meets girl, boy asks girl out on date, boy and girl start dating, boy and girl get married and live happily (or not so happily) after!!

 

Can you imagine?

I can live without all this! I do think it was much easier back then. That's why I keep saying people valued one another more it seems, when you didn't have so many opportunities at your disposal, like with the dating sites. But maybe I'm wrong, I dunno

I guess he didn't want to waste any time with things like dating and hand-holding. He wanted to get down to business. Just tell him to get lost.

Im in my 50s & been known to slip the tongue back if I am attracted to the gentleman!

If there is no attraction the tongue would have been no where near me.

You need to learn to turn your head quicker :-)

LOL @ shelly....so true....give him a mouthful of hair if you're not into it.

No one should ever feel pressured to do anything they're not comfortable with on the first few dates.

Oh man.

Was just posting to Smittenkitten about this in her thread about the new bloke she's so madly into.

Many years back, my twin sister and I were on a night out in London. We're walking into this pub. And at that very moment, these two blokes are literally just leaving, walking out. I looked at one of the two and thought: O M * G. We chatted them up there and then. 15 minutes later and in another pub, him and me were snogging our faces off each other. I didn't know him, didn't care, didn't see anyone around me, I was just exploding from within. I still remember his stunning semi- smiling eyes, his huge 6 ft 4 frame, his amazingly beautiful long hair, the gorgeous way he smelt, how incredibly strong he was.. the point I'm coming to is this: my twin and I are 48 next week. If I was single and if this was to happen now, you bet I'd do the very same thing. IF I fancied someone they way I did him, then.

I do understand feeling reserved on a first date. But.. if you don't want him to kiss you then there really is no point - you're just not into him enough for any kind of intimacy..

Yeah me too; your "kiss" comment reminded me so I dug it up.

 

Life must've been so much simpler back then, no OLD, no texting, no Facebook, no social media.

 

Just boy meets girl, boy asks girl out on date, boy and girl start dating, boy and girl get married and live happily (or not so happily) after!!

 

Can you imagine?

That's how it was for my parents! They were married 62 years.

What?? You mean there's not supposed to be tongue after 50???????? I'd better really enjoy my next decade then lol

 

Is this for real?? Block him if he creeps you out.

LOL!!! I don't think making out with someone means the person wants to have sex right then - maybe but not necessarily. I remember I was smitten with a guy on a first meet. OMG. He bought me flowers at a corner store after dinner and I walked him to the train station. At the train station we kissed -yup with tongue - and at some point he told me he found the small of my back sexy. Yes I fell for it -swooning. On our third date which was dinner and then his house (but I had told him that I would not be staying over or having sex with him or close to that) it was clear to me he wanted to move wayyyyy faster than I was comfortable with. So we only went out a few more times. Was the first kiss an indicator? I still don't think so - I just don't think a passionate kiss is that big a deal on a first date, a first meet or even if you meet someone at a party. It's not sex. Having said that I think any touching on a first meet or date especially should be only what you're comfortable with. And maybe you're a person who doesn't act on strong chemistry by kissing or touching - practices restraint to protect your heart or just because. Totally fine too. When I met up with my future husband after 7 years apart I kinda manipulated an invitation back to his place after dinner. I knew him well and knew he wouldn't make a pass at me unless I wanted that - I simply wanted to spend more time with him plus I wanted a peek at his awesome apartment that he was renting for the summer (really cool place).

The dinner was platonic but sparks flew. He told me later he wanted to kiss me that night and held off because he didn't know if I felt the same way plus he didn't want to mess things up or go too fast. So not kissing doesn't mean no chemistry -it's a choice.

I would not like the pics request especially since he's not making another plan. But I wouldn't hold the kiss thing against him unless he forced you. 50?? I hope if I ever have to date again there's lots of kissing involved if the moment is right (I am now 52).

This in itself is a red flag. Block and delete him. You're obviously not interested.

he texts me..want lots of pics. But no second date?

Truth, Batya! It means they are attracted to you. Or drunk. Or horny. Or all of these lol

I'm known to initiate if I feel it, I've never been pushed away. If a guy I'm not into tries, I back my self up and put my hands on their chest to keep them at bay.

But meaning he wanted sex? Not likely. Not to say some don't, because kissing can very easily lead to touching, which leads to sex. They will allude in different ways while with you , body language and words, if that is the motive. You have to be able to read people. Generally speaking though, it does not apply in every case. There are creepers out there.

I'm not anywhere near her age but I guess in thinking about it, it might feel strange. Wondering how old the date was lol

I'm pushing 50 and don't exist in some 1950's world of Beaver Cleaver. My parents, yes, this is their environment, in addition to the sexual 60's...they were in their prime during that era...pick a side. If a guy having the balls to kiss you, and oh my, tongue, and that turns you off? Okay, that's your boundary.

I consider the date a failure if I don't get some affection, and I won't recoil over some tongue.

Did he want sex? Do you really need to ask that? Of COURSE he wanted sex. I'm sure you did too, but you won't say it out loud. Let's just say that if you were receptive to it, and allowed things to progress, he would not have argued with you.

Sex is always on the brain. Let's not pretend it doesn't exist.

I guess this all boils down to your personal preferences and men (or women) have no idea what is too much or not enough. I'm pushing 50 and wouldn't mind some tongue, yet there are posts you see from women in their 20s and 30s freaking out because a man had the gall to hold their hand or touch an elbow. To each his/her own, and it's really about your personal boundaries. If he's too forceful, break it off or be clear with him where your boundaries are. If he ditches you over it, good riddance, it wasn't a good match anyway. Demanding pictures triggers my red flag alert. He can earn those pictures.

Looks like the OP has left the building and it was a one-off post.

Looks like the OP has left the building and it was a one-off post.

I agree, SweetGirl actually called this on page one too.

 

Is this for real??